Talk with ape
ends in death

City Moon: Why does
golf need an ape player?

AG.:
question.

Ask a simpler

C.M.: How much do you
weigh?

AG. About fifty divots,

give or take. That was a

good question. Ask
another.

C.M.: What's a sand
wedge for?

4G. To eat, I think.

Isn't it? My trainer
always made banana and
peanut butter ones for
me.

CM.
shoes?

AG.: Monkeyshines
Shoe Company. If they
don't fit right, my
bunions ache. I own the
company. I’m rich. It
feels good. Its one
thing to be a poor ape,
but a poor human--it

must be awful. I’m a
Republicrat. — Please
excuse me, I have’ to
potty.

City Moon

interviewers waited
outside the bathroom,
shouting questions ©
through the door.)

C.M.: Do you believe ina
god?

AG.: Are you kidding?

Im an ape. No god ever.

gave am ape a break. I
dig Masonry. I got a
motor scooter and I love
to ride in parades.

C.M.: Some say you
‘resent your given name
and are considering

changing it.

AG.: Come January One,
you can call me Brainard

Who makes your

{Police

    

Stitt £28¢SlsS FSS WLLP

Franklin. It cost me
high guida, no lie, but a
good legal mouthpiece is
pure gzold in my
profession. Hey, I
needed a name, not no
label. Nobody calis me
the Ape of Golf. People
know me say Brainard.

CM: They say ‘boons.
only last 15 ~ years,
Brainard. How about’

you? You worried at all?

(The toilet flushes
inside. When the water
stops rushing, it flushes
again, and this happens

two or three times
more.)
AG.: This toilet is

broke. This interview is
over. Get out, you turds.

C.M.: Is that your final
comment?
A.G.: Turds are all over

the floor in here. Don't
leave. Help. Please help.
There are turds
everywhere in here. Call
the police.

arrive. Water
flecked with feces pours
from the cracks of the
door. Nobody opens the.
door. Noise crashes
through the building as
a water-soaked wall
gives way and the ape
tumbies to the garden in
a drowned heap.)

C.M.: That about wraps
it up from here.

 

If you don't know my business, it’s none of yours. Me. T.

 

 

3 ng Tail Together

--Brunhilda

 

KRatso's
Brookiyn Bed & Breakfast
Call 638-9030 Cheap Rates

 

.$o0ld for under 6 Gs.

 

peal

John Horton, iron Duke of
Wellington, Kansas,
announced his retirement
at the Green Gables Bar and
Grill Tuesday night. He
ate chicken royale, spinach
biscuit with onion sauce,
redberry pie, his plate,
drinking glass, and coffee
cup with saucer. After the
plastic tablecloth, he
sucked a dinner’ mint

~ through a napkin.

Then he went downtown,
entered an antiquarium, ate
an old tin sitz bath and
died.

Noguchi arrived to extract
the Duke's famous iron
Stomach. This took 3:05
mins. of time. The organ,
weighed on a butcher scale,
topped 50 puds.

Parts of the Iran Duke went
for high guida today under

a broiling Kansas sun near

Jarbals.

Legs rampant on a hickory
plaque, mounted, tanned,
Hands
cost a dollar. The eyes
were sold by the pair, for
60 guis.

The nads went to a senior
who makes marble bags and
penile backscratchers.

A priest got the © for
the Horton Devil's Church
Halloween Ball, a tailor the
torso skin (for vests), Tall
Eddy’s BBQ the rib section,
a pedophile the left foot,
the Devil's consolidated
flatball companies the
head, Lefty's Jewels the
coccyx and so on. The
auction netted upward of a
thousand guida.

The Duke's ass, with no
takers, was fed to possums

BLACK HOLE MOTEL

Take the Peripherique to fear lest llichita

 

HEADS COME
OUT OF MAN

ONE DEAD, ONE ALIVE

Doctors nope for more soon

EAST WICHITA, &s.--A
mudpacker, Marcus
Govinda, has given birth
from the anus.

Govinda exhausted doctors
with a standing labor of 11
days, 6 hours, 13 minutes.
After birthing, he refused
to answer questions.