nebulous attribute that is called ‘academic freedom.” He
must be all things to all men. He must respect every confi-
dence. He must listen to all sorts of woes every day. In fact,
he must be the personification of Kipling’s little man “If”
that is talked about so much at the football banquets in the
fall. If the football season is a complete failure, it is the
college president’s fault because he refused to fill the dormi-
tories and the lecture rooms with non-paying customers.
If the season is a tremendous and stupifying success, it is
the president’s fault again because the shocked sports
writers on all the papers say that this stepping over the
amateur bounds could have been stopped by the president if
he had wanted to; that the college administration, after all,
has in its hands whether the sport shall be amateur or non-
amateur. We thank the sports writers for the compliment
and hereafter we will add another duty by joining the Fed-
eral Bureau of Investigation and following the embattled
alumni to their hide-outs.

After all, believe it or not, there is one good point about
the college president, and that is that he knows just what
his position is, particularly in the athletic field and with a
group of athletic people such as are here this morning.

So, having made my point clear, as one who is always mis-
taken, I am going to ask you to listen to a few suggestions
which I have as to how to make football more successful in
the national program than it is today.

We have to have real direction at a time like this. We
have to know which way we are going. Even the football
coaches need direction. I notice that in your conference of
yesterday you decided to have the goal posts widened. I
think that is a mistake. I think that some of you need to
have the goal posts nearer. That would have more effect
upon your season’s success, perhaps.

I notice also that you have decided to have a more liberal
policy in connection with putting substitutes into the game.
I quite disagree with you on that point. Every football con-
tract should have in it a clause which says that both teams
should have the same number of players on the bench at any
given game. That would make better sport out of it, and,
after all, you still have to think of the paying public that
comes to your games. I don’t object to a football team in
which I am interested being defeated every once in a while,
but when I see it defeated by four different teams on the
same Saturday afternoon, I think that is just too much!
And so I don’t agree with you on that point of view.

Now, as to the ethical situation. We hear so much of that
at the end of the season, both from coaches and college presi-
dents. May I suggest that this matter of non-ethical teams

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