14> JAYPLAY 02.02.2006
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'M THE NICEST GUY TO EVERY PERSON I MEET, BUT I'M STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT NICE GUYS REALLY DO FINISH LAST. DOES THE ASSHOLE ALWAYS HAVE TO GET THE GIRL? SHOULD I BE THE ASSHOLE AND FINISH STRONG, OR SHOULD I KEEP BEING THE NICE GUY AND FINISH WITH WHATEVER IS LAST? — ALAN, SOPHOMORE
Jessica: "I want a bad boy. You want a bad boy? I want a boy so bad he wears a mask! A villain!" My favorite comedian, Dane Cook, talks about women loving bad boys. It's actually a load of crap. Women who want bad boys are really only wanting them for the image they portray: Rugged. Handsome. Exciting. Rebellious.. James Dean. In reality, women want to be treated well and most girls in relationships are with nice guys. You may only think they're assholes because the only time they talk about their boyfriend is when he's being an asshole. The truth is, most girls don't date assholes. They date nice guys, and nice guys can occasionally just act like assholes — just like all girls can act like bitches. If you think the problem is how nice you are, think again. Maybe they don't want to date you because your breath smells like tuna or they think you have ulterior motives. I recommend sticking to being the nice guy that you are and waiting for another nice girl with the same problem... Tuna breath
Brian: You and I have something in common, Alan:
we both get screwed over by women. All you ever hear about as a guy is how women want the nice guy (see above rant) and how they want him to do sweet things, etc. It's a load of crap. No matter what you do, women will always bitch about not getting enough. If you buy them flowers once a week, they want it twice. You go see a chick flick every few movies; they want it every time. You have sex with her once while you're dressed up as a clown; she wants Bozo every night. Basically, when you try to do something to set you apart from every other guy, it automatically becomes expected. So here's my real advice: Do the exact opposite of everything you ever thought you should do for a girl. Go on a date with her and forget your money, pick her up an hour late, call an ex in the middle of dinner, then at the end of the night, just assume you're going back to her place to get it on. If she doesn't like it, then you're in the same place as you were being a nice guy. If she likes it, you're golden. And don't forget to repeat my double-meaning motto all night: "Screw women!"
Brian: The more the merrier! Why don't you start out with three, then add a new girl every week. Every once in a while bring in a guy to keep the girls satisfied. You could try to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. If that fails, you would surely live for all time in KU lore. Women will be all over you and guys will want to be you. You'll be like James Bond, only with fewer gadgets.
IF MY EX HOOKED ME
UP WITH BOTH OF
HER BEST FRIENDS,
DO YOU THINK I
SHOULD ASK HER
IF WE COULD HAVE
A THREESOME, OR
MAYBE EVEN A
FOURSOME? - MARC,
SOPHOMORE
Jessica:For your sake, please don't listen to the slut above. Have some decency and treat your ex and her friends with respect.Yea, they may love to make out with each other for money at parties, but the truth is, they want to be respected.Really.So don't ask for threeomes or foursomes... unless you've got a fat wad of cash, unlimited Jell-O shots and a video camera that won't make their asses look fat.
4
Jenn. She just wants to have power over you.
Nate. She knows that she can turn you on
really quick, then kick you out and you can
do nothing about it. So here's all you need to
Do. Put in a porn again, and this time, about
two minutes into it, take your pants off and
just start going at it with yourself. Don't stop
for anything until you are fully satisfied. Then
clean up using one of her hand toys and
leave before the can object. That is teach her
to treat you like her own personal hitch.