Bitch& moan
With Brian Bratichak and Jessica Crowder
Please send your questions to bitch@kansan.com
I'm celebrating Christmas with my girlfriend's family this year and I'm really nervous about it. I know it's a huge step in our relationship and that it means a lot to both of us. Is there any advice you can give me for spending this holiday with her family? —Russell, sophomore
Jessica: I know it's a huge step in your relationship, but relax. Chances are if you've been invited to spend Christmas with her family, they either like you judging from past visits or they know you mean a lot to your girlfriend and would like to meet you. Talk about things with your girlfriend beforehand. Let her know you're a little stressed and that this means a lot to you. Hopefully, she's understanding and can give you tips as to what the general game plan is for her family during the holidays. Some people take a laid back approach to the holidays while others are busy bees. It wouldn't hurt to ask her what's appropriate holiday attire and if you'll be attending a Christmas church service. I'm sure everything will work out splendidly if you air your concerns before the big event. Good luck!
Brian: How you should act around her family should be dictated by how comfortable you are with them. If you walk into their house, and her dad pats you down before you can step into the living room, or if her mom asks you to tell her how good her famous apple pie is just to see if you like it, then you need to watch how you act around them. If they run to the door and give you a hug right after they hug their daughter, then you can assume you will be able to act as you normally would. As always, you still want to watch your manners and it's always better to be overly cautious than to over-assume what you can get away with. If you ever don't know how they feel about you there, ask if you can help with anything. It makes it seem like you really, really care about them.
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now and I'm pretty close with his family. Do you have any gift ideas for the significant others' parents?
Erin, senior
Brian: The simple fact is that parents really don't ever expect to get a present from their child's boy or girlfriend. They would look at anything you get for them as a great present and a testament to your character. Unless you decided to get something completely outrageous (i.e. a dieting book, botox injections, a case of beer), they're going to appreciate anything you get them. Just use your head.
Jessica: That's mighty thoughtful of you, Erin. Since you're so close with his fam, think about their hobbies, what they do in their leisure. If his dad's a golfer, maybe a subscription to a golfing magazine or if his mom's a cook, a cookbook. It never hurts to ask your boyfriend what he thinks would be appropriate. Hit up some websites that specialize in gift ideas. Talk to your own folks about what their ideas are for someone else in their age group. As long as you don't go overboard, I'm sure they'll be gracious.
I'm Christian and my boyfriend is Jewish. How can we celebrate both holidays together? Chanukah and Christmas happen on some of the same days this year, so we're not sure how we can make it work. —Rachel, junior
Brian: Sometimes it might be more important to spend time with your family than to worry about being with your favorite person on those special days. Many couples end up being relegated to celebrating the holidays either in the days before or in the days following the holiday. Whether you exchange any gifts tomorrow or not until the week after New Year's, they are going to mean they same thing. It's also not even necessarily important you differentiate between Chanukah and Christmas gifts, as a gift is a gift whether it's for a birthday or a religious holiday. Just try not to give him something he already has, like a circumcision.
Jessica: This problem is more common than you think, even for couples who practice the same faith. "How do we celebrate the holiday season together?" The answer is compromise. My sources tell me Chanukah begins on the eve of Christmas day, so you can end Christmas day with Chanukah festivities that evening. If you're wanting to spend both holidays with both families, why not spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with your family and the first night and last day of Chanukah with his family? If that's not feasible due to distance and travel, ask your boyfriend what days are most important for his family's celebration of Chanukah and see what you can come up with from there. As for different religious customs, talk them out so that neither of you is completely oblivious to what your respective holidays are about. It's been done before; you two can make this work.
Holiday Pick Up Lines
5. Hol Hol Hol
4. I'll come down your chimney any time
3. You should start the new year in my pants.
2. Let me take you for a ride in my sleigh.
1. Wanna spin my dreidel?
Meghan Miller
Surviving holiday singledom How to overcome your solo blues over break
1. Hit up the holiday parties! But please avoid laying down your game at family gatherings.
2. Take a road trip with your friends to help your winter break pass by more quickly.
3. Avoid listening to sappy holiday songs like "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
4. Take advantage of your singleness by hanging out with the fam.
5. Just remember how much money you're saving and that'll put a smile on your face!
- Katie Moyer
12.08.05 Jayplay
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