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5. The worst thing he or she has ever done in public restaurant setting is:
a. yelling at the server and refusing to pay
b. ripping ass and thinking it was hilarious
a. enough alcohol to pass out, face first in the linguini
c. belching out loud
a. forgetting which fork goes with the salad
b. enough beers to forget your name a couple times
d. just a glass of wine or a beer with dinner
Table manners should also be taken into account before a Thanksgiving invite. "If they eat like a pig, don't invite them for turkey," Anderson says. Dinner etiquette includes sexual self-control as well. For example, it would be quite an embarrassment if Aunt Mildred caught your date copping a feel for you under the table. Being attracted to one another is one thing, she says, but getting touchy in front of your family is just wrong!
6. When you dine with your date, he or she usually drinks:
"If he puts his hand in the turkey and uses it as a puppet," Anderson says, "he's probably had too much to drink." She advises to be mindful if your partner is a drinker. It's important for neither of you to over-drink at family functions.
c. a couple cocktails
b. wince at the thought of your draining bank account
a. shudder with fear
7. The thought of spending the holidays with your partner makes you:
c. unsure - it could go either way
d. ecstatic
Score:
If you answered mostly A's, stop trying debating whether to take him or her home, and start thinking of the best way to dump the scumbag.
If you answered mostly B's,ask your friends what you saw in this person in the first place.
If you answered mostly C's, although it's risky, taking your partner home for Thanksgiving could be a good test for your relationship. This one's promising.
If you answered mostly D's, invite this new sweetie home and be prepared to answer your relatives when they ask, "When's the wedding?" And if all works out, he or she could be joining you for many holiday events to come.
It's in the stars
If you're an astrology buff, see what the stars say about your partner and how he or she handles Thanksgiving dinner.
Virgo (Aug.23-Sept. 22) will only accept a minimum helping of the meal.
Aries (March 21—April 19) starts eating before everyone else has been seated.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) accepts only the finest pieces of white meat.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) grabs both turkey wings for themselves.
Cancer (June 21—July 22) spends all day slaving over a hot stove.
Leo (July 23—Aug. 22) sulks that Capricorn is at the head of the table.
Libra (Sept. 23—Oct. 22) does their best to make sure everyone gets equal portions.
Scorpio (Oct. 23—Nov. 21) puts extra salt on the mashed potatoes.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) is stuck in front of the T.V. watching football.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.19) sits at the head of the table.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) gets extra helpings of pumpkin pie.
Pisces (Feb. 19—March 20) wants to be the one sitting closest to the turkey.
Bitch moan
My girlfriend loves hard, fast sex. The problem is that I do too.I can't last when we go hard and fast. Anything I can do to help us since we both get off on the same thing?
- Ethan, Sophomore
Brian: A good way to do the hard and fast thing and still last is to make sure there is some orgasm-inducing foreplay. It'll make your second go-round last quite a bit longer, and you both can go as fast as you want. Also, consider trying some different positions to see if anything other than the age-old missionary prolongs the experience. Try to expand your sexual life and you'll start to enhance your pumping ability.
Jessica: Aha. The wham-bam method, the one most of us with roommates know all too well. (Thank you, thin walls and creaky mattresses of the world.) Although, the fact that you both love it hard and fast has an evolutionary advantage, I'm sure that's not what you're aiming for. Always wear condoms and use the squeeze technique if the condoms don't desensitize you enough. The squeeze technique is precisely what you're thinking. When you get too excited, squeeze it manually and you'll calm down. Hope that helps. Happy humping!
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years and I'm having a really hard time with it. We broke up because I couldn't handle him talking to his ex so often. I want him to be in my life, but I'm not sure about what he wants. Any advice?
-Abe, Senior
Jessica: If you think you're ready to let him back into your life, you need to take the initiative to talk to him. Call him up, get some coffee and hang out. You guys broke things off because of your jealousy, remember? As far as he's concerned, the ball's in your court. Should he be unresponsive to your invitation, relax and give him time. He's probably hurting just as much as you. In the meantime, work on banishing that jealousy. It's needless and a huge liability in any relationship.
Brian: It's simple, Abe. Talk to him. You'll never know what he is thinking if you won't talk to him. If you want to be scared, get over it, ask him what he's thinking and find out about it. Be scared afterwards. Otherwise, you're gonna be scared your whole life, never knowing if things could have worked out at a later date.
Top five
Moments when sex or innuendos are funny
6. When a guy in an anime is exposed to female anatomy that he does not possess.
3. When drinking is involved...and I don't mean soda.
4. The first time a person flirts with you and it goes completely over your head.
2. The oral sex story swapping in Chasing Amy.
1. Any...and I mean ANY sexual reference or
- Chris Moore
Whenever my girlfriend and I have sex, she wants it to be pitch black, while I like there to be a few lights on. Any advice on what to do?
-Eric, Junior
Jessica: Lights on or lights off is an age-old question. Since men are more responsive to visual stimuli, they tend to prefer the lights on so they can see their partners in all their glory. Women are more apt to follow the lights-off policy in an attempt to hide any self-perceived imperfections. Since you're wanting to mix it up a little, why not start her off with a fairly dim light or having daytime sex with the blinds drawn? Couple that with telling her how beautiful she looks, especially now that you can see her face and body. You must make her comfortable for this to be successful. It'll be a gradual process, but I'm sure if you do things right, she'll be more comfortable with lights than before.
Brian: As Jessica says guys are turned on by what they see. This explains the typical guy's fascination with boobies, (especially big ones.) Girls also have a soft spot for a candle-lit room. Another way to grab her attention is colored lighting and a romantic soundtrack. Turn off the fluorescent lights, turn up the ambient lights and lose the clothes.
11.17.05 Jayplay
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