A look at assholes By Chris Moore, Jayplay writer
Andy Spellmeyer, Derby freshman, was relaxing at McCollum Residence Hall when he noticed a woman pass by. As she bent over, he noticed a tattoo with two initials on her lower back. "Nice tramp stamp," he said.
"That's my mom's initials, and she's dead, asshole!" she told him.
The Urban Dictionary defines an asshole as a passive-aggressive jerk. Being labeled an asshole may be offensive, but for some people, the label is a way of life. A siap or a drink thrown in the face is not a pleasurable experience, but for these people, it comes with the territory.
"When we hold men to a status of machismo, we ask them to be immature," Sprague says. "It doesn't promote decent human interaction."
Joey Sprague, director of undergraduate studies in sociology, says some freshmen fall into this category because of the new freedoms available to them. She says students new to college are experiencing more options and fewer barriers, and that these, combined with societal expectations, can lead to bad behavior - especially for men.
A scarlet letter
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Being labeled an asshole can hinder the dating process for some.
As a freshman woman, Walsh observes that many students are still in an experimental phase wanting to explore the dating scene. Walsh has had guys tell her that she's beautiful and has pretty eyes, but she knows they are just lines.
"College freshmen boys tend to be more on the asshole side of the spectrum," says Casey Walsh, St. Louis freshman. "There's a whole new freedom and a whole new way of looking at relationships."
"After physical contact, the guys become less determined to hang out," she says.
One way to guard against acquiring the asshole label is to talk to friends about how to act in dating situations. Linus Coy, Chicago freshman, talks about his relationships with his friends.
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He says it seems like gossip but helps him deal with tough issues, such as when women lead him on.
"It's useful to get options," says Coy. "It helps not to be close-minded. If a friend is in the same situation, they can help out."
...And proud of it
Not all are shamed by their asshole status; some actually wear it as a badge of honor. Case in point: Tucker Max, a Duke Law School graduate.The first sentence on Max's Web site says, "I'm Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Max says he decided to be an asshole because he wanted to act however he wanted without caring what other people thought of him.
"Friends thought it was hilarious," Max says.
Max makes his living off of books he has published about his exploits and off of his Web site, which includes an application for girls who want to hook up with him.
Max says he gets 50 applications a week and that 20 to 30 are actually serious. He says he can't hook up with all the women that apply—especially when some of them are as far away as New Zealand.
Toplikar says he used to be a nice guy, but that got him nowhere with the opposite sex. "Nice guys finish last," he says. "There's a good reason for that saying:They do."
"If the girl is close, I write them back. If they're good-looking, I try to hook up with them," he says.
Max's latest book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell: The Tucker Max Stories, is scheduled to be released in January. His Web site says the book contains 10 to 12 stories already on his site and 12 to 15 new stories.
The book will include stories such as one about him hooking up with a girl he finds unattractive and then throwing her clothes out the window to force her to leave before his roommates see her. He says to her, "Trust me, you don't want to meet my friends. They are evil. Rappists and murderers, both of them. Very unsavory characters." He tells her that if she wants to meet his roommates, she will have to do it naked.
Ben Topilikar, Olathe freshman and another self-proclaimed asshole, keeps to a routine when trying to talk to women. He always has a plan when things don't work out. "If I throw out a line and they walk away, I say, 'You're too broke to have an attitude,'" he says.
Nice guy gets the girl
Samantha Williams, Edmond, Okla. freshman, disagrees with the "nice guys finish last" school of thought. "The nice guys definitely will get their nice girls someday," Williams says. "But the real asshole guys, I hope they never get anything, I hope they finish last."