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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12. 2005
Media, police: Quit hatin' on The Hawk
STAND UP!
Throughout the past couple weeks, the Hawk has been given a black eye by the media. While the Hawk might stagger for a little while from this bad publicity, it will back up and once again be the top venue in Lawrence.
The Hawk is being targeted because it is undoubtedly the most popular bar in Lawrence and when you are on top, you attract a lot of attention: from students, other bars and ultimately the police.
Some people think that the police presence in the local bars has increased this year, but the truth is that it is mostly the same as in previous years. There is just more publicity this time around.
What people need to remember is that this is a college campus and there will be underage drinking. It happens at bars, residence halls, on-and-off-campus
PAGE 7A
JOEL SIMONE opinion@kansan.com
residences and any other venue a person can think of.
This might seem like a high number, but the Hawk has any where between 700-1,000 people
It is something that is uncontrollable. You can go to any bar on any given night and I guarantee that you will find someone there with a fake ID. But, none of these other establishments are getting the flak that the Hawk is.
It has been cited 17 times for underage drinking violations in the past two and a half years, and half of those citations have already been dropped.
come through its doors Wednesday through Saturday.
That's not even close to 1 percent of all their customers, which is pretty good. When you have as many customers as they do per night, it is extremely difficult to spot fraudulent IDs. It is becoming even more difficult with the improved technology used to make these IDs. It is almost impossible, even by a trained eye. Whether anyone wants to admit it, fake IDs are a part of college life. When I was a freshman, people went from dorm to dorm selling fake IDs. While I wanted to get one, I ultimately decided against it.
One man in particular made the IDs two to three days after he had taken the picture of the student. He charged $80 per ID I saw some of the IDs after my friends received them, and I
compared them to my authentic Illinois driver's license.
I was surprised how good they were. If an ID from one of the most populous states can be easily forged, this just shows how advanced this business has become.
If someone who has been a resident of Illinois his whole life cannot tell a fake ID from a real one, how are bouncers at bars, not from the state, supposed to be able to?
With all this bad publicity aimed at The Hawk recently, it is also important to remember what good things it has done for the community. In the past two years,
The Hawk's employees and patrons have contributed more than $24,000 to a number of different charities: $6,000 to the hurricane Katrina relief fund,
$3,000 to the Ali Kemp Fund,
$2,500 for Leukemia research,
$1,700 to the American Cancer Research Center, and $1,000 dollars to the AIDS Walk in Kansas City and toys-for-Tots.
Lawrence police officer Larry Hamilton told the Lawrence Journal-World on Sept. 29, "It's easy to go into The Hawk and get a minor in possession." Well, here is a news flash for Officer Hamilton: It is easy to go to any bar in Lawrence and find a minor in possession. The reason why it is easier at the Hawk is because there are so many people there, not because they are doing a bad job of checking IDs.
What people apparently have forgotten is that there are two other bars in the area, The Wheel and Bullwinkle's, that the police also pay attention to. There are other bars in Lawrence that
have more MIP's charges than the Hawk, but people don't hear about that. Nobody sees stories about them in the news, nobody sees their pictures in the paper or hears rumors that their owners have been thrown in jail.
And certainly, those bars do not have a cartoon in the paper referring to suicide less than a month after one of their previous employees tragically took his own life.
A few articles, some opinions and some pictures is one thing, but this continual barrage of unfair statements has gone too far. Perhaps this mudslinging style of journalism will change in the future, but for now, The Hawk has been open since 1919, and it has every intention to stay open.
Free All for
- Simone is a Chicago Heights, Ill., junior in journalism.
Call 864-0500
Free for all callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kanans editors reserve the right to omit comments. Slanderous and obscene statements will not be printed. Phone numbers of all incoming calls are recorded.
Free for All Revolutions: www.kansan.com. Be there.
I
Hey, Mangino, start Marcus Herford.
I am a doctor, and I wanted to inform you that it's impossible to get jock-itch on your chin. Thank you. I have money and a car.
I just got an answer to the crossword by calling KU Info. How's that for beating the system?
You can't push the hazard button! That's for emergencies only!
If I'm not getting booty, I better be playing video games.
Manhattan is the choad of Kansas
There's nothing fun about fun-sized Snickers.
A real fun-size Snickers would be 9 feet long.
How is it possible that our cornerback had more passing yards than our starting quarterback. Mangino is nuts.
Yes, I'm thinking that the pink iPod guy would not appreciate some random chick coming up to him and kissing him.
Racism goes two ways. How come all black people can say the n-word but when white people do it, they are automatically racist?
To the guy wearing the AC/DC shirt and the kit,
I seriously hope you were stoned when you
were getting dressed, buddy.
Does your girlfriend count as a booty call?
On Gina Ford's column on the n-word she says,
"Regardless of the intended context, that word is never acceptable to use," but according to her facebook.com profile, she listens to hip-hop.
Last time I checked, rappers use the n-word all the time. Can you say hypocrite?
One no cares if you don't like the Yankees. Does your mother have 20 World Series rings?
Why don't we get Columbus Day off? I mean, he did discover America and everything and proved the world wasn't flat!
I scored more times Saturday night in Manhattan than the football team, and that's pretty sad.
Maybe math tutors are in high demand because none of our T.A.s speak freakin' English.
+
To the person who stole my bike: I'm going to believe that you did it because it was completely necessary, and you needed it for tuition money or some child to feed and not for extra things. I want to keep believing that the world is good, but then again, people like you make it really hard. You don't know me, but I'm going to believe that it meant more to
The North Templin Liberation Front will strike in seven days' time.
I think I might be fully-clothed.
+
Let me ask you a question. What self-respecting group of red-blooded men and one woman would have a pickle fight? A pickle fight? It was a tickle fight! That's tickle with a "tt" As in Tony Danzal Maybe you should check your sources, Free for All. What kind of journalism is this?
Somebody says there no Jeff Graves posters to be found in this town, and I have two.
I am shocked and appalled by the girl wearing the Bucknell hoodie today.
Is Gina Ford ever going to write a column that doesn't have to do with race?
Bill Braskey once had a winning season as a KU football coach.
Travis Robinett seriously needs to get some KU pride.
Chuck Norris was the first man to climb Mt. Everest. Naked.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris made the final decision to end Terri Schiavo's life, not the supreme court.
Chuck Norris began the Church of England back in 1799. Back when his name was England.
The famous video of Saaquatch is actually England Norris returning to his woodland home after a night of binge-drinking and unprotected sex.
Chuck Norris once picked a fight with the city of Atlantis. I think we all know how that one turned out.
Joshua Bickel, managing editor 864-4854 or jbickel@kansan.com
Jonathan Kealing; managing editor 864-4854 or jkealing@kansan.com
Matthew Sevcik, opinion editor
864-4924 or msevcik@kansan.com
Austin Caster, editor
864-4854 or acaster@kansan.com
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Sarah Connelly, business manager
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864-7687 or mgjweaver@kansan.com
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The Kanans welcomes letters to the editors and guest columns submitted by students, faculty and alumni.
The Kanans reserves the right to edit, cut to length, or reject all submissions.
For any questions, call Austin Caster at 864-4810 or e-mail opinion@kanans.com.
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Ellis Ford, Yanting Wang, Joel Simone, Dan Hoyt, Anny Whelm, Jette Pielan, Natha McGinnia, Josh Goeting, Sara Garlick, Travis Brown, Jailo Portillo, David Archer
EDITORIAL BOARD
This is for the mornings you roll over and say, "Whoops."
HUMP DAY
SUBMIT TO
kansas newroom
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1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 68045
(785) 844-4810 option@kansas.com
Shacking, the Great Escape
Except, you don't actually say it. You think it. If you say it too loud, your exit is blown.
You're laying naked in a foreign bed next to someone you don't know and don't remember falling asleep with. Hey, it happens.
Barring the bizarre circumstance where you are genuinely interested in the person, or you don't know where they hid the video, you have only one option: escape.
Every college student will at some point wake up and see the man/woman/taco that they decided would be fun to share the family genetics with. Ninety-nine percent of living human beings wouldn't want to wake up the other naked person and apologize for "trying to hammer a nail into the wall with a dead fish."
1
Get dressed quickly and quietly. I recommend practicing at home. A good nude-to-clothed time is less than 20 seconds; A great one is under six.
Through some magnificent miracle, a high percentage of the time the person who shacks will wake up before the person who lives there. It's inexplicable, but why do you care? This is a gift from the heavens. Voices are telling you, "Here's your chance, get the hell out! They want to introduce you to their parents! Run!"
Here is your evacuation route from the beholder's lair.
If you are a slow dresser, the "clasp" is an oft-forgotten technique that could be the difference between breaking some fugly's heart or simply breaking down her door.
Simply "clasp" all of your clothing and run outside. Even if you are completely naked,
Whatever you do, do not forget a single item. If the snoring, naked person doesn't remember the night before, any clothes they find may remind them.
ERIC JORGENSEN opinion@kansan.com
"Here's your chance, get the hell out! They want to introduce you to their parents! Run!"
it's better than being naked in bed with Leatherface's acneinfested twin.
After a night of heavy drinking, you're going to wake up with a bad case of "hungover-doodies" (the stupid editors made me change what I originally wrote). No matter how loud your rectum is screaming, you must keep your goal in mind.
Once you are dressed, quietly flee. Unfortunately, you're not safe. There are plenty of obstacles left.
Dropping a deuce in the other person's house is risky. You will undeniably leave evidence of your presence in more than one way; plus bathroom ventilation systems are often subpar. Bathroom veteran and escaper-extraordinaire, junior Andrew Ricke, put it in perspective.
"We can put people on the moon, but we can't make a bathroom vent that can contain sound and smell," Ricke said.
The rewards do not equal the repercussions. Get out of the house and crap on the neighbor's lawn gnome if you have to. Just do it anywhere but the shackee's house.
So, you've made it out of the bedroom and past the bathroom. Here is the worst obstacle yet. Even though you woke
up before E.T., the roommate will always wake up before either of you.
Roaming in the kitchen and living room, the roommate makes the shot to the front door nearly impossible. If the roommate catches you, it is guaranteed the whistleblower will tell the shackee they saw "someone running out of the house who looked like they drank too much ex-lax."
Also, who's going to believe some old, feeble person that a "young whipper-snapper fell from the clouds" on his morning walk. The only reaction he'll get from his family is, "Grandpa's losing it."
Unless the roommate is gone, or you have a killer right hook that's both silent and effective, you will have to find an alternate extraction point. Your only option is a window.
Lift the window and remove the screen. Someone may notice a screen is jacked up, but can always assume someone tried breaking in. And how many college students routinely check their screens? Half probably think they'd need "screen fluid" for it.
Now jump.
Don't indulge in the past, invest in the future. And your future is at home, pooping.
Regardless, you're going to need a cushion. Plus, imagine how great a story you could tell your friends.
If you're on the second story, or worse, a third, aim for a bush or an elderly person. Odds are an elderly person will not know any college kids, thus he cannot narc you out.
And it's not like he can remember what happened five minutes ago anyway.
Now you're free. Run, drive,
swim or ride piggy-back, just
get home. Do not get yourself
caught in an awkward morning
with some man/woman/taco.
♦ Jorgensen is a Baldwin City junior in journalism.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Military is diverse enough
The Lawrence Counter recruitment organization suffers from a myopic view on integration in the armed services. By focusing its attention on the LGBT issue, it has missed the forest for the trees.
Of course, the issue of LGBT and the military is difficult. For the record, the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy was established by President Bill Clinton so that gays and lesbians could serve in the military. But while campaigning
on campus, the organization has perpetuated only the gross misconceptions regarding the armed services and its success in integration which is the reality.
"Can you imagine yourself as a
I could make an argument for my point, but I will defer to the three-time Pulitzer Prize-winning author and journalist, Thomas Friedman, whose Op-Ed column in The New York Times on Oct. 5 eloquently expresses the diversity that exists in today's military:
24-year-old female Executive Officer and leading boarding parties onto boats conducting inspections in the Persian Gulf"
The reality is that the U.S. military consistently leads most other professions in the country in its non-discrimination, but this is something the LCR does not want you to remember.
- Karl Rubis
Lawrence graduate
student in history.