OPINION
THE UNIVERSITY HARLY KANSAN
7A
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2008
COMMENTARY
New tradition launched during Lent
It's the time of the year, when on Friday nights, Catholics smell like fish. It's Lent. I always wondered where Lent came from, how it naturally occurs in one's belly button. But these questions are for scholars, and I don't know any, so they'll be left to the wind.
Lent started on Ash Wednesday, last week, and goes till Easter—it's 40 days during which Christians are supposed to better themselves. Usually one gives up something enjoyable and donates the money saved to charities. So I could, say, give up eating pretzels for a month and then donate the cash I save from not eating pretzels to charity.
But this year I'm thinking about doing something different, much different.
This Lenten season I have a suggestion for the masses. Why not, instead of giving up something that you enjoy for lent, pick up a few bad habits or just make some bad decisions, so that by the end of the 40 days you realize how good your life was and you never want to do those bad things again.
Take up smoking. Now I don't mean this as in a cigarette a day. Go full-force into it; start smoking half a pack a day (I just heard cigarette companies CEOs start salivating).
Don't go anywhere without at least three alcoholic beverages in your body. This means anywhere; work, class, church, the doctor; I don't mean a weak drink either, something stuff. Go for a highball.
Start driving a beat-up old pick up truck and drive in one-and-a-half lanes of any road.
Marry a really ugly man/woman and move into a studio apartment in a bad part of town. This will make the time go much slower, but you just have to remember it'll only last for less than a month.
Curse: start cursing a lot. If you're not passing for a sailor or an auto mechanic, you're failing.
Buy some Blink-182 CDs.
(Given, I already own most of these.
I was in middle school once).
After 40 days of this — well in reality less than 40 cause it's already been a week — when you revert back to your old life, if you can, you'll realize how good you had it. Being able to breathe after walking up the hill, navigating an automobile without fear of it breaking down or of you running it into a streetlight, waking up in the morning to a pleasant face in a nice part of town, being able to talk in front of kids and having music in your collection that you're proud of—the good life.
Or you know, you could just give up chocolate. Whatever.
Stewart is a Wichita Junior in journalism.
COMMENTARY
Max Rinkel
"Which drinking game does Barack Obama endorse?"
Why I can't get enough Corey (Delaney, Haim or Feldman)
I was amongst the mass crowds that drove, biked, and sloshed their way through the snow to last week's Democratic Caucus. It was held in a barn at the Douglas County Fairgrounds, a location that certainly lends itself to the sinking feeling of voter disenfranchisement. Cows were feasibly standing there hours earlier, herded this way and that. Now there were only Hillary cows and Obama cows, and a gaggle of Edwards/Kucinich/Gravel sheep. That's when I knew I needed to save America.
Today, I'm starting a new campaign, a campaign that addresses the concerns of the median KU student and the tie that binds us all—partying. How come candidates never devote meaningful time to this issue? For instance, which drinking game does Barack Obama endorse? What's Hillary's favorite dive bar in Brooklyn?
No, despite the clamors of the now-huddling masses, I do not plan
in the street." Is he sorry? "(hesitant
pause)...yeah. Yeah." Could you
take your sunglasses off? "No...I'll
keep these on." Why not? "Because
they're famous."
It all makes for the most furiously brilliant three minutes on YouTube, even better than the dog humping the Pikachu doll.
KU students, our country finds itself mired a severe Corey drought. Once, long ago, we had it good. Not only did we have the crush-worthy Corey Haim, but we had the dreamy Corey Feldman, as well. These two screen stalwarts stole our collective hearts, but it couldn't go on forever. Now, a new Corey emerges like a phoenix from the ash of the old Coreys' flamed-out careers. And he couldn't have come at a better time.
to run for president on this resilient platform—yet. Id like to unleash a plan that will live on as a sterling commemoration of our college years.
Corey appeared on the national news program in which an affable, attractive news anchor did her best to berate our young hero. On the broadcast, Corey wears a gaudy flat-billed baseball cap, an unzipped furlined jacket exposing his bare chest and pierced nipple, and canary sunglasses so large that even the most audacious sorority girl would blush at the thought of donning them. The anchor interrogates him, and Corey rattles off a series of outstanding responses. The party? Not his fault, as "it could have been anybody out
Thanks to the notoriety garnered from his appearance, party promoters reached out to Corey, inviting him to build hype for their parties while paying him heftily for his efforts. In this prime capitalization of seemingly ephemeral fame, Corey did what we Jayhawks now must. We will immediately draw up plans for an epic party, one that we will tell our children about in last-ditch efforts to sound and feel hip again, a party so splendid and effusive in design that it will make all the parties in the movies look like trite crap, and invite Mr. Delaney to curate it.
Corey Delaney. Perhaps you have heard of him. For the uninitiated, Corey Delaney was the young Australian who threw a party at his parents' house while they were on "holiday." Nothing special, right? Wrong. That party grew into a 500-person bonanza, a gathering so rowdy that several police cars were damaged and local authorities sent in the dog squad. If the Australian media had merely looked the other way, and stifled any rogue thoughts of "hey, we should put this kid on TV" it's entirely likely that we would've never heard much of young Corey. But the legend of Corey was not meant to stop there.
I write in this space today to
ignite you, students. I've only begun to get the ball rolling here, but only YOU can make this party a reality. Book Abe and Jakes, or if possible, the moon (the ultimate party venue!). Call every DJ in the Yellow Pages. Spend three straight days at Kinko's photocopying flyers. Carve wooden Corey sculptures out of your study desks. Sell your textbooks, drop your classes and collect the tuition refunds. Afford no risks in making this party a first-class success.
The result will not be a mere "party," but a work of art, something that will transcend these meager political dog-and-pony shows and petty day-to-day routines that reign over our lives. We are left to do the only thing that is logical; invite a 16-year-old Aussie with a churlish attitude to promote a party so triumphantly excessive that even Paris Hilton would have the good sense not to attend.
We need to unite and create the purest manifestation of democracy this young planet will ever see.
Get to work, and realize the liberty that our founding fathers could only dream of.
Goble is a Mission Hills senior in English and Economics.
» LETTER TO THE EDITOR
New multicultural center benefits students
As an alumnus, I read with great excitement about the opening of the new Multicultural Resource Center.
As an involved student, I knew what a crucial role the center would play in every student's life and the potential influence it could have if given the proper resources. I certainly hope this excitement persists among the entire student body today. In reading the article, I couldn't help but think back and reflect upon the exemplary leadership and profound sacrifice of the student leaders, administrators, and friends of the university who
The first time I heard about the center in 2002. I had an on-campus job relating to graduate and professional student affairs and read then-Student Body President Jonathan Ng's platform with great interest. He spoke of an expanded role for the center and strengthening its presence on campus in a more centrally located place. To me, it was beyond exciting. Diversity was always a goal that would help every KU student better prepare for the workplace, and Jonathan knew its potential went beyond minority groups.
made this project possible.
Student Senate of 2002-03 led an aggressive campaign for funding a new building and building greater awareness throughout the KU Community. Thanks to Jonathan, along with Blake Shuart, Mark Dupree, Catherine Bell, Casey Collier, Lase Ajaiy, myself, and countless other students, funding for a new building was passed at the end of the 2002-2003 school year. But getting a new building was only the start. Future Student Senate groups, led by Student Senate leaders such as Andy Knopp, Steve Munch, and Jeff Dunlap, kept the spirit and purpose of this project close to their hearts.
It is my hope that all students from all walks of life, undergraduate and post-undergraduate, will take advantage of this unique and incredible place. As someone who was there when this was merely but a dream five years ago, it is a thrill to see it become a reality."
Sincerely,
James Owen
Class of 2004
KU School of Law
Former Student Senator
Tuesday's WiKUpedia column failed to mention columnist's involvement in coalition
FROM THE EDITOR
It has been brought to my attention that yesterday's column "Freeency - KU - pedia," about the WIKupedia project started by the Student Senate Connect coalition was written by a member of the Connect coalition, yet there was no mention of such a connection in the body of the story or the columnist's bylane.
Columnist Ben Cohen explained to me that the aim of his piece was not meant to be an endorsement of the coalition or of Student Senate. It was his intention to simply inform his readers and state his enthusiasm about this new information source.
Both Cohen and I appologize if any readers perceived his piece as containing bias toward or an outlet for Student Senate or any of its coalitions.
Bryan Dykman
Opinion Editor
》 FREE FOR ALL
The soundtrack to "Juno" makes me smile a lot.
Visit Kansan.com and add the Facebook application, or call 785-864-0500.
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Lung cancer kills twice as many women as breast cancer, but you don't see feminists racing for that cure.
I just spent 10 minutes using my computer to take pictures of myself in the library instead of studying. I loved the guy behind me checking out my bone structure. PERCEPT.
PERVERT
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I saw the most gorgeous blue eyes on campus today. I almost melted.
I'd love to fuck and get to know you, but that means taking down your wall first.
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Big woop. Two losses. Get over it. Let's make it to the Final Four so I have another lame excuse to go home!
Free For All, I'm so flattered that you chose me three times in a row today! It's like we have a special connection.
Want more? Check out Free For All online.
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