OPINION
Coming Tuesday, November 20..
Hayes: Giving answers in the form of questions at Jeopardy audition
Cohen: Green living finally catches on
WWW.KANSAN.COM MONDAY NOVEMBER 18 2007 TO petition the government for a redress of grievances
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 19,2007
DRAWING BOARD
MAX RINKEI
FREE FOR ALL: 864-0500 OR KANSAN.COM/FACEBOOK
Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kansan editors reserve the right to omit comments. Slanderous and obscene statements will not be printed. Phone numbers of all incoming calls are recorded.
Since when did Free-For-All become Post-Secret?
I had a really great time last night. Thanks for being awesome
To the girl wearing shorts at The Crossing last night: Quit being a skank and wear some clothes.
Oh yeah, don't be all over everyone just because you're drunk.
Wow, you were wasted last night, and making a fool!
I think we need to take up a collection to get glasses for the refs from Saturday's game
6:45 a.m., and I just pulled an all-nighter for no other reason than a bad case of insomnia. Free for all, will you prescribe me some drugs?
I wonder if Mangino can deter the No. 2 ranking. The way things have gone this season, we're better off not being ranked No.2!
Man, I'm surfing the Internet
at midnight on a Saturday night.
I need to turn off my computer
and find some new friends!
Why can't things go back to the way they were with us and the whole group?
I'm waiting for you to call me.
My Bio 150 TA is the only reason I didn't drop that class. Man he sexy! Can I have your baby?
I am the only single student living in this apartment complex building. Damn, life sucks.
Why can't I just be with the guy I want? Why do things have to be so complicated?
Amazing at football for beating ISU? We're no more amazing than we were yesterday. Which is still pretty amazing. The real test is next weekend.
Can the country now accept that we are amazing at football? I think so!
PRO EPIC
Big Jay as White Owl, stupid
refs, sorority dads in the student section, and mini skirts with Ugg boots! ahk KU!
Big Jay was dressed up like Charles Manson during the game today. Oh wait, I mean, While Owl.
Seriously, why haven't you called?
R. I.P. Herbert. He was the best pumpkin ever.
I didn't do anything with him because I still want you.
Norman Mailer went the other day. A moment of silence, please.
Feel the tender caress of His Noodley Appendage Praise to the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Amen
You were really sweet. Too bad that you were more interested in my friend. I wish I got your number.
Yes. Fake orange tans, dyed blonde hair, tucked in Ugg boots.
That's sexy as Hell.
College life demands collegiate ride
The last step in gaining independence comes not from the books or any classes, but from owning that one, perfect car
I'm looking to buy a car. I'm not really worried about cost or reliability or even practicality. Those are the concerns of the middle-aged. Right now, I'm 19 and willing to pay for that last leg of independence, that ability to move without having to coordinate with city busses or my friends' schedule.
The question is, what kind of car and, of course, how much am I willing to pay? With no real answer to either question, I ask around and most of my friends tell me the same thing: Honda. Acura. Toyota. Mitsubishis are nice.
I have this reply I've been working on that goes something like: "If I'm going to be spending a considerable amount of money on something, I want to really, really like what I'm buying." I understand the practicality of the aforementioned makes and models, but I'd really like my shot at driving something that isn't parked in every third spot.
So, I looked into a 1982 Chevrolet El Camino online with these specs, verbatim:
- "65.000 MILES
• New Tires
• Mint Condition
• Drives Smooth Like Butter
• Moonroof
• CD
For a minute, I can almost see the car/truck combo driving down its Spanish namesake like a stick of butter sliding down the dinner table. The price is a little steep, though. Almost eight grand for a car that is as old as I am with as many miles as my parents will doubtlessly have worries, questions and objections. And as sort of a side note here, my bank account isn't exactly prepared to back this kind of spending.
Maybe I can appeal to my father. After all, he was the one who had a Mustang and a Volkswagen when he was my age. Maybe he will provide a
little sympathy and monetary support, especially after watching me drive a metallic purple station wagon through high school.
Thanks dad. You made high school easy. I'm sure I'll have no problem convincing you to help me out.
With the finances taken care, I think I'll start bidding. I show my friends the car I've had my eye on and most are supportive. Except one.
"But Whitney had one, didn't she?" Max says. And as quickly as this dream was becoming reality, Max's observations send it that much faster into history. My other friends start to reminisce about Whitney's car. Her engine made this sound like a well placed bowling ball down
the lane, a loud thud and a slow rolling, while mine was more of a smoker's cough from watching the guys play too many frames.
No way can buy it
I can buy it now. No way. I think I'll save the eight grand and not risk anyone thinking that this car is an attempt to live vicariously through someone I knew briefly in high school. So much for the El Camino. If it's any consolation, her car did brake down the summer after we graduated—broke down for good. As far as I know, it's still sitting in her driveway, looking for a new engine. After my dad finds all this out, he'll most likely withdraw his support. I have certainly built a good case for him, but here I am, convincing myself that it's still a good idea to consider this car, as long as there are Ebay pages to view.
purple? Is it gold? You got it!
it's all three!"
Wow. It was a bad ad, trying to sell an ugly car that wants to be a truck. And on top of all that, it's blue and gold and purple. It turns heads because while it may drive smooth like butter, it looks like vomit. This car model never ceases to amaze me.
If ever pressed to say what I've learned while being at KU, I've learned about this feeling called "being in college" that, right next to your gut and conscience, ways heavily in your decision making. It's not something typical or only present on Friday night. And despite the words of my friends or my parents, this ugly little car somehow fits right in with "being in college." I imagine my dad felt something very similar to it when he purchased or as my mom says, his parents purchased) his mustang. It's a good, reliable feeling. Personally, I can only recognize it as the feeling I didn't
Page four yields something interesting: "Don't wait to get this one! It's a hot ride that really turns heads! Is it blue? Is it
have when he handed me the keys to the station wagon.
So the conversation I'll have with him will go something like this: He will say, "You are (1) trying to declare your independence, by (2) buying a car that you supposedly really like, that also (3) happens to be the same car Whitney owns, the same car that broke down constantly and currently fails to undertake it's primary function: It can't drive?"
And I will say, "You got it. I'm trying to do all three."
Dykman is a Westwood sophomore in English and is the Associate Editor of the Opinion page.
GARDENING TIPS
When it comes to giving, anonymity should be the trend
Today, people and media are too worried about who is doing the giving and not worried enough about what was actually given
Anonymity ain't what it used to be.
There was a time when you couldn't spit without hitting an anonymous person. The Federalist Papers, written by Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, and James Madison, were credited to Publius. The Anti-Federalist authors' pseudonyms were so good that their true identities still cannot be confirmed. Bygone ages' popular songs and stories came from unknown sources.
These days anonymity is something else entirely. In keeping with the Internet's existing civility level, these modest calls for moderation were met with hyperbolic death threats typed in all capital letters.
Anonymity assaults our natural voyeuristic desire. When the novel "Primary Colors" was published in 1996, media members worked tirelessly to identify author Joe Klein. And O.J. Simpson has spent more than 12 years looking for the real killer in his wife's famous murder trial. He's mostly been following a tip that the killer is somehow connected to golf.
Seeking anonymity to cover poor behavior is nothing new. After all, an entire Las Vegas ad campaign centers on the idea that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Evidently Nevada health officials offer free STD eradication during your departing flight's pre-boarding process.
What is new, however, is the
lack of anonymity sought by those doing good. Most people like the idea of giving an anonymous gift because it shows humility, but
w h a t
good is
humility
if no one
k n o w s
about it?
In the
movie
"Return
to Me,"
a generous
do-
nor says, "I suppose she told you about the sizable donation Mrs. Bennington and I gave this year... Anonymously of course."
Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is a surprisingly generous guy, but few people know because, as he told the New York Times, he follows his father's maxim: "If you do something
good for somebody and more than two people know about it, you didn't do it for the right reason."
If the donor resists the urge of recognition, he must contend with the
recipient's urge to tell secrets. When I was a child the most maddening taunt was the sing-song, "I know something you don't know." On the surface it's a mindless truism: We ALL know something others don't. I know which of the Bristol
Stool Chart's seven categories I matched this morning, but you probably don't want to know. Telling information only gains me that minute moment of fame or respect if the information satisfies your voyeurism. That is why, if the donor doesn't spill the beans on his identity, the recipient usually does.
Last week word came of an anonymous $100 million donation to the Erie, Pa., Community Foundation, which distributed the money to various area charities. For now, the foundation president isn't telling the donor's identity, and recipient charities aren't asking. Which could be just what the donor wanted, or it could be driving him out of his mind. "Come on, track me down! Praise me!"
Since no one is talking, for all we know the donor is me. The real donor won't contradict me and lose his anonymity, and the foundation president can't speak up without violating the donor's trust. So there you have it: I'm the anonymous Erie, Pa. donor. What's my connection to Erie? Ten years ago I was helped at a McDonald's drive-through window by a particularly pretty employee. Where'd I get all that money? Uh, oil. Mostly oil. But also a lot of it is mortgage-lender bailout money. Stop asking so many questions and just start praising me anonymously on the Internet.
Minster is a Lawrence senior in Economics.
TALK TO US
Erick R. Schmidt, editor
884-4810 or eschmidt@kansan.com
Eric Jorgensen, managing editor
884-4810 or ejorgensen@kansan.com
NOW THAT YOU'VE READ THE OPINION PAGE, HAVE AN OPINION?
Kelsey Hayes, opinion editor
864-4924 or khayes@kansan.com
Bryan Dykman, associate opinion editor 864-4924 or dykman@kansan.com
Darla Slipke, managing editor 864-4810 or dstlpke@kansan.com
Jackie Schaffer, advertising director 884-4358 or jschaffer@kansan.com
Katie Abrahamson, sales manager
864-4477 or katiae@kansan.com
Malcom Gilsson, general manager, news adviser
8648-7687 or mcalom@kansas.net
Jon Schitt, sales and marketing adviser
864-7666 or jschitt@kansan.com
SUBMISSIONS
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The Kansan reserves the right to edit, cut to length, or reject all submissions.
For any questions, call Kelsey Hayes or Bryan Dykman at 864-4810 or e-mail opinion@kansan.com.
to the editor at editor@kansan.com.
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Eric R. Schmidt, Eric Jorgensen,
Darla Slipe, Kelsey Hayes, Bryan
Dykman, Brandon T. Minister, Angellique
McNaughton and Benjamin R. Smith