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JAYPLAY 11.08.07
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PAKISTANI PRESIDENT PERVEZ MUSHARRAF DECLARES "EMERGENCY RULE", SUSPENDS THE CONSTITUTION, REPLACES THE NATION'S CHIEF JUSTICE, BLACKS OUT THE MEDIA AND DEPLOYS TROOPS IN THE CAPITOL.
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For the record: Pakistan has a leader installed by coup d'etat, a stockpile of nuclear weapons, and is the likely hiding place of Osama bin Laden. Basically, it's like Iraq in 2003, except this time our government would be telling the truth.
2 THE FILM AND TV WRITERS GUILD GOES ON STRIKE, POTEN TIALLY DISRUPTING PRODUC TION ON EVERYTHING
TION ON EVERYTHING FROM LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOWS TO SOAP OPERAS.
Luckily for fans of "Grey's Anatomy," the mentally disabled chimpms that write for the show were not allowed to join the Union, meaning production will continue unimpeded.
4 COMEDIAN STEPHEN COLBERT IS DENIED A SPOT ON THE PRESI-
DENTIAL BALLOT BY BOTH THE REPUBLICAN AND DEMOCRATIC PARTIES IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
What's most perplexing about this decision is Colbert isn't treated as a serious presidential candidate but former "Law & Order" star Fred Thompson is.
3 A MARYLAND COURT RULES THAT THE TOPEKA-BASED
PHELPS CLAN MUST PAY S11 MILLION IN DAMAGES FOR INFLICTING EMO-
5 ELDERLY SHOCK JOCK DON IMUS IS SET TO RETURN TO THE AIRWAVES IN DECEMBER AFTER AN 8-MONTH HIATUS BROUGHT ON BY HIS ON-AIR RACIST COMMENTS.
TIONAL PAIN BY PROTESTING OUTSIDE A SOLDIER'S FUNERAL.
While Phelps said the ruling stings, he's solaced by knowing his work has changed so many minds on the important issue of just how much God hates fags, America, soldiers, and especially gay American soldiers.
In what other country can a highly-successful, elderly white racist multimillionaire overcome such adversity? Don Imus, you are the American dream.
VINCENT MARGARA, KNOWN AS "DON VITO" ON MTV'S SHOW "VIVA LA BAM," IS CONVICTED OF TWO COUNTS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT ON A CHILD. As punishment, Margara will be locked in a room and forced to watch re-runs of "Viva La Ba
7 KU DEFEATS NEBRASKA 76-39 IN THE HOMECOMING FOOTBALL GAME, SETTING SEVERAL RECORDS AND KEEP- ING KUGS DEFEATED
ING KU'S UNDEFEATED SEASON ALIVE
And while KU was going 9-0 for the first time in a century, K-State lost to the worst team in the Big 12. Makes you believe that God exists after all.
8 FAMOUS
CROONER ROB-
ERT GOULET
DIES AT THE
AGE OF 73.
Now who's going to mess with my stuff at 3 p.m.? Hey,hey,hey Adios,Goulet.
9 ELVIS PRESLEY TOPS THE FORBES LIST OF TOP DEAD CELEBRITIES. AS
THE LATE STAR'S ESTATE MADE ALMOST $50 MILLION IN THE LAST YEAR.
Embarrassingly, Britney Spears made the list at No.9, although her publicist insists that the tragic pop singer is still alive and well.
10 THE PRE SERVED CORPSE OF ANCIENT
BOY-PHARAOH KING TUT IS PUT ON PUBLIC DISPLAY FOR THE FIRST TIME.
The exhibit has disturbingly become the number one destination spot for the necrophiliac-pedophile crowd, displacing the grave of murdered child model JonBenet Ramsey.
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Chris Raine