OPINION
Coming Tuesday, October 30...
Editorial: Proposed bike paths on Jayhawk Boulevard could limit parking.
have no law restricting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abrogating the freedom of speech, or of the press; of the right of the people peacefully to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of privileges
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN    WWW.KANSAN.COM     MONDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2007      PAGE 7A
Hudson: Technology can reinforce relationships,but shouldn't be used in place of real communication.
SIX YEARS IN UNDERGRAD
Stephen Colbert for president in 2008
The comedian's decision to run in the South Carolina primary livens up the race
BETSY MCLEOD
Imagine a country overflowing with prosperity and peace, where children of all religions hold hands and sing songs about truth and freedom. Imagine a land free of polarity, bigotry and religious oppression and devoid of bow-tie pasta, Canadians and bears. Welcome to the United States of Colbertica.
On Tuesday, Oct. 16, Stephen Colbert announced his official entry into the 2008 race for the presidency, making next year's elections the easiest decision you've ever made. For the first time since I became old enough to vote, I feel like I'm being screwed. Stephen Colbert has, over the years, courted and romanced me, and with his abundant gifts of chocolate-covered truthiness, he has wooed me into his political bedroom.
He is the ideal candidate; a statuesque model of core Christian-American morals and the embodiment of the traditional upper-class American Dream. He denounces partisan politics by refusing to run under a Democratic or Republican ticket, instead choosing the foolproof route to run as both. He is the most honest and open of all the current frontrunners, and prides himself on his unwavering stance on all things American. Establishing a Colbert Nation is the only way to fix all of America's problems.
We need a leader who tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth—even if it's false. We need a leader with the conviction and courage to rule with an iron fist in a velvet glove; unmerciful to those who do harm to our great country and gentle to the faithful Colberticans who accept the truth without question or doubts based on silly facts. Mr. Colbert is smart enough to ignore these ever-changing proven truths, once saying, "I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will
never change, no matter what are the facts."
Enough of the so-called leaders who choose to base their decisions on these wishy-washy facts; we need a president that will follow in George W. Bush's footsteps and make facts based on air-tight decisions. Some might argue that this new approach to democracy resembles an authoritarian dictatorship that condemns the very backbone of the Constitution. These doubters have no reason to worry because once Mr. Colbert is inaugurated, the old Constitution will be burned and replaced by the new Colberttitution.
If you share these dreams of slightly-oppressive但true freedom, there is no other choice; vote Colbert 2008. In the words of the aforementioned genius himself, "I'm looking over your shoulder—but only because I've got your back."
McLeod is an Overland Park senior in journalism and Middle Eastern Studies.
In order to control the population problem, anyone who disagrees with the new laws and statutes of the new Colbertstitution will be deported to northern Canada; they have enough empty space to accommodate all the felons and dissenters in the world. And the immigration issue? Colbertica has a solution: we will welcome all illegal immigrants on the condition that they spend at least two years helping to build the Great Wall of Colbert spanning the U.S.—Canadian border.
Our new foreign policy? Non-existent. Mr. Colblen said it himself, "If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."
The budget deficit? Once Mr. Colbert is in office the budget deficit will be erased. That's all you need to know, the rest is executive privilege.
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SHARING STORIES AND FORGETTING TIME
I wish we would lose a game so people would see it's just football and they'll live another day.
Brandon McAnderson, you are an absolute baller.
It's good to be a Spartan woman.
Another one bites the dust,
and another one gone and
another one gone. Another one
bites the dust! Hey We're gonna
get Mizzou too!
Dear KU football I have always been a true fan but I'd just like to thank you for this amazing season, keep up the great work!
Another one bites the dust!
Since everyone kept asking if the Jayhawks are for real this year, I hope this answered their question!
8-0 baby!
Let's see who comes up with the wittiest comment about points finally being on the board.
I haven't seen that since 1909!
Too much TV,too much imagination
Crime drama shows are hugely entertaining, but there can be too much of a good thing
a few months back, in the middle of the night, I bolted straight up in a cold sweat. "Too much CSI!" I said, without hesitation.
As I lay back down, the picture of my dead, mangled corpse still loomed in my brain. How many times have we all heard the whole, "there's too much violence on TV" spiel? I always thought all that talk was a bunch of bologna, I mean, I played "Goldeneye" like eight hours a day as a kid and you don't see me going around and
shooting people in the head with a moonraker laser.
However, recently I had to rethink my opinion of violence in the media, after a distressing realization. I love to watch two TV programs: "CSI" and "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit." After a long hard day, it's like a sweet
release. There's nothing like brutal homicides and rough-around-the-edge detectives to kick back and relax to.
The worst is the Sunday night marathons. I can easily watch for four hours and be completely enthralled with the gory scenes in front of me. "She did it!" I'll say, or "Come on Stab, you've got the wrong perp, this psycho's throwing you for a loop."
GSW and through and through have become part of my everyday vernacular, along with referring to characters by homemade nicknames such as Liv and Stab. So what's changed? I've watched these shows for years but recently I've found they are staying with me longer than I would like.
These shows have worked themselves into my way of life. General terms such as DB,
As the seasons progress, the ideas for crimes are running out, and each season gets more gruesome and more disturbing, yet I can't stop watching. Now, if I watch too many episodes at a time I can't sleep at night. I am convinced that there is a stalker living in my attic, and every ambient noise in my house turns into someone breathing or rustling around downstairs.
I've tried everything, but the paranoia has only gotten worse. Now, sometimes I'm too scared to get up to go pee in the middle
of the night so I just lay in bed waiting to be raped while trying really hard not to pee the bed. Something has to be done! So I guess in the end I've decided this might be a personal problem, and the solution while simple might be easier said then done.
Maybe I AM watching too much "CSI" and maybe I should just not watch so much. I'll force myself to stop after one episode, yes that's it, one episode a day. Well, maybe two, but only if they're over by eight o'clock; that way I can watch something happy like Global Guts on Nick GAS or American Gladiators on ESPN Classics. Or maybe I'll just put bars on the windows and wear earplugs.
Simmermon is a Leawood senior in journalism.
DRAWING BOARD
MAX RINKEI
GUEST EDITORIAL
KU Endowment responds to editorial
The Kansan's recent editorial concerning spending by KU Endowment contained numerous factual errors and showed a lack of understanding about our spending policies.
During fiscal year 2006, KU Endowment provided $99 million to the university, not $56 million, as stated in the editorial. That's because we didn't just spend 5.6 percent of the endowment, we added funds given by donors for immediate use, as we do every year.
In fiscal 2007, we provided a similar amount, except for an increase in student support and a decrease in construction support because of fewer building projects. The editorial mentions that most high-end donors are interested in "vanity projects."
but the facts don't support this notion. Some notable recent gifts to KU Endowment include $5 million in scholarships for low-income students, $2.1 million in scholarships for engineering and computer science majors, and $4.4 million for a new scholarship residence hall.
Many KU students are unaware that virtually all scholarships and awards came from donors. In fact, more than 5,000 students today benefit from scholarships, fellowships and awards from KU Endowment. Student support accounts for more than a quarter of the funds we provided to KU last fiscal year, and the desire to help students motivates many alumni and friends to give generously to the university. However, while donors can help, they cannot be held accountable for making
up for recent tuition increases caused by a decrease in state support.
Over the years, our sound spending rate has enabled KU Endowment to provide a total of $1.4 billion to KU. During fiscal year 2006, our support amounted to $4,117 per full time student, double that of nine peer institutions in the Big XII and Big 10. It enhanced everything from the quality of the faculty to academic programs, library books, equipment and new facilities, all of which benefit students, even though it may not be in the form of scholarships. We encourage students to visit kuendowment.org to learn more about the impact of private philanthropy at KU.
ey: it's thousands of individual funds, each designated by a donor for a specific purpose and established to last in perpetuity. An endowment for a professorship cannot be used for a scholarship, and vice versa. If we don't honor donors' intents, we would lose their trust. And without that, our ability to raise money in the future would disappear.
Moreover, the endowment is not just one vast pool of mon-
Ultimately, our responsibility is to ensure that KU's endowment is here not just for today's students, but for many generations to come.
Rosita Elizalde-McCoy Senior VP for Communications and Marketing KU Endowment
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