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UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Wednesday, November 15, 1967
U.S. power and growing nations to be discussed
The influence and role of the United States in developing nations will be the topic of a discussion by a Student Union Activities (SUA) World Affairs Week panel at 3:30 time in the Kansas Union Forum Room.
KU students from three African countries and three Latin American countries will make up the panel.
George Bokamba, Congo senior; Emmanuel Akuchu, Cameroon senior; one other African; Jose A. Dubon, Honduras graduate student; Anibal D. Ibarra, Nicaragua junior, and Ampelio Villalba, Paraguay sophomore, are the panel members.
A second panel discussion at 4:30 p.m. will feature professors discussing Central America.
Burt English, assistant professor of political science; Robert Hinshaw, assistant professor of anthropology; Robert Nunley, associate professor of geology, and Charles Stansifer, associate professor of history, are the panel members.
Shirley Temple loses election
SAN MATEO, Calif.—(UPI)—Shirley Temple, Hollywood's box-office sensation of the 1930s, lost out at the ballot box Tuesday night in her bid for Congress.
Shirley, now 39 and wife of businessman Charles A. Black, was defeated by Paul N. McCloskey, 40, a handsome, crew-cut Korean war hero.
With 450 of the 575 precincts tallied in the 11th Congressional District McCloskey, an attorney, had 39,590 votes to 25,654 for the former screen mopper.
It appeared, however, that McCloskey would fall short of the necessary 50 per cent of the vote for an outright victory to succeed the late Republican Rep. J. Arthur Younger. His win assured him a spot as the top Republican against the leading Democrat for a runoff election scheduled Dec. 12.
Terry Turner [above] of San Jose,
Calif., working in a castle
Jobs in Europe
Luxembourg—American Student Information Service is celebrating its 10th year of successful operation placing students in jobs and arranging tours. Any student may now choose from thousands of jobs such as resort, office, sales, factory, hospital, etc. in 15 countries with wages up to $400 a month. ASIS maintains placement offices throughout Europe insuring you of on the spot help at all times. For a booklet listing all jobs with application forms and discount tours send $2 (job application, overseas handling & air mail reply) to Dept. O, American Student Information Service, 22 Ave. de la Liberte, Luxembourg City, Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.
Jay Jane members attended a banquet in the Kansas Union Tuesday, partly to install new members but mostly to give honorary memberships to three coaches' wives, Dean of Women Emily Taylor, and Melinda Cole, Jay Jane adviser.
Wives fail to show
Mrs. Pepper Rodgers and Mrs. Ted Owens said they'd come but called the day of the meeting to say they couldn't make it. Mrs. Bob Timmons did not answer the original invitation.
Miss Taylor and Miss Cole, however, received a carnation. a membership card, a Jay Jane patch and a Jay Jane constitution.
"Do I get a seat in your section now?" Dean Taylor asked.
"Anyone who gets to sit in the press box doesn't need a seat," Jennifer Nilsson, Chicago Heights senior and Jay Janes president, said.
PATRONIZE KANSAN ADVERTISERS
URBAN CHOCICES: THE CITY AND ITS CRITICS. Roger Starr. A timely and probing review of America's urban problems and their possible solutions. Covers housing, unemployment, racial tensions, poverty, architectural planning, air and water pollution, and urban politics. A951, $1.45
THE CITY OF MAN. W. Warren Wagar. Examines the possibility of a world civilization as the solution to the twentieth century's political and spiritual crisis. A931, $1.65
LATIN AMERICAN WRITING TODAY. Edited by J. M. Cohen. The latest volume in this new series offers prose and poetry by writers from Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Cuba, Mexico, Peru and Uruguay. All works are presented in English. 2490. $1.25
ENGELS: SELECTED WRITINGS. Edited by W. O. Henderson. A new and wide selection from articles and correspondence, revealing Engels as economist, historian, philosopher, and military critic. A729. $1.95
READ Shaw's SAINT JOAN before and after the show. A Penguin paperback exclusive. Complete play with Shaw's Preface, PL3, 65¢
SEE Shaw's SAINT JOAN—with Maurice Evans, Theodore Bikel, Raymond Massey, Roddy McDowall and Genevieve Buijold—on TV, Monday evening, December 4th. Check local listings for time and channel.
3300 Clipper Mill Road
PENGUIN BOOKS INC
Baltimore, Md. 21211
UDK -VOICE OF STUDENT ACTIVITY
FOOTBALL FOR SHUT-INS
At next Saturday's football game while you are sitting in your choice student's seat behind the end zone, won't you pause and give a thought to football's greatest and, alas, most neglected name? I refer, of course, to Champert Sizafoos.
Champert Sigafoos (1714-1928) started life humbly on a farm near Thud, Kansas. His mother and father, both named Walter, were bean-gleaners, and Champert became a bean-gleaner too. But he tired of the work and went to Montana where he got a job with a logging firm. Here the erstwhile bean-gleaner worked as a stump-thumper. After a month he went to North Dakota where he tended the furnace in a granary (wheat-heater). Then he drifted to Texas where he tidied up oil fields (pipe-wiper). Then to Arizona where he strung dried fruit (fig-rigger). Then to Kentucky where he fed horses at a breeding farm (oat-toter). Then to Long Island where he dressed poultry (duck-plucker). Then to Alaska where he drove a delivery van for a bakery (bread-sledder). Then to Minnesota where he cut up frozen lakes (ice-slicer). Then to Nevada where he determined the odds in a gambling house (dice-pricer). Then to Milwaukee where he pasted camera lenses together (Zeiss-splicer).
Finally he went to Omaha where he got a job in a tannery, beating pig hides until they were soft and supple (hog-flogger). Here occurred the event that changed not only Champert's life, but all of ours.
Next door to Champert's hog-floggery was a mooring mast for dirigibles. In flew a dirigible one day, piloted by a girl named Graffa von Zeppelin. Champert watched Graffa descend from the dirigible, and his heart turned over, and he knew love. Though Graffa's beauty was not quite perfect—one of her legs was shorter than the other (blimp-gimper)—she was nonetheless ravishing, what with her tawny hair and her eyes of Lake Louise blue and her marvelously articulated haunches. Champert, smitten, ran quickly back to the hog-floggery to plan the wooing.
To begin with, naturally, he would give Graffa a present. This presented problems, for hog-flogging, as we all know, is a signally underpaid profession. Still, thought Champert, if he had no money, there were two things he did have; ingenuity and pigskin.
So he selected several high grade pelts and stitched them together and blew air into them and made for Graffa a perfectly darling little replica of a dirigible. "She will love this," said he confidently to himself and proceeded to make ready to call on Graffa.
First, of course, he shaved with Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades. And wouldn't you? If you were looking to impress a girl, if you wanted jowls as smooth as ivory, dewlaps like damask, a chin strokable, cheeks fondlesome, upper lip kissable, would you not use the blade that whisks away whiskers quickly and slickly, tuglessly and nicklessly, scratchlessly and matchlessly? Would you not, in short, choose Personna, available both in Injector style and double-edge style? Of course you would.
So Champert, his face a study in epidermal elegance, rushed next door with his little pigskin dirigible. But Graffa, alas, had run off, alas, with a bush pilot who specialized in dropping limes to scurvy-ridden Eskimo villages (fruit-chuter).
Champert, enraged, started kicking his little pigskin blimp all over the place. And who should walk by just then but Jim Thorpe, Knute Rockne, Walter Camp, and Pete Rozelle!
They walked silently, heads down, four discouraged men. For weeks they had been trying to invent football, but they couldn't seem to find the right kind of ball. They tried everything—hockey pucks, badminton birds, bowling balls, quoits—but nothing worked. Now seeing Champert kicking his pigskin spheroid, their faces lit up and as one man they hollered "Eureka!" The rest is history.
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©1967. Max Shulman
Speaking of kicks, if you've got any about your present shave cream, try Burma-Shave, regular or menthol.