UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
The official paper of the University of
EDITORIAL STAFF
TOMORROW
Lloyd L. Cox
Editor-in-Chief
EARLE MILLER
Smithing Editor
EARLE MILLER
Smithing Editor
BUSINESS STAFF
IRE E. LAMBERT...Business Manager
J. LEWENDY...Assist. Business Manager
K. RICKS...Business Manager
REPORTORIAL STAFF
L. F. MEISNBERG    RUBBLELL CLARK
JOHN MADDEN    FENDRON
ROBERT SULLIBER    EDWARD HACKEY
JAWER HOUSTON
Entered as second-class mail matter
between New York and Washington,
Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March
Published in the afternoon, five times
in both English and Spanish.
Branas, from the press of the department
Subscription price $2.00 per year, in
invoices, $0.50 per month.
Subscriptees $2.50 per year one term $1.25.
Phones: Bell K. U. 25; Home 1105.
TUESDAY MARCH 19,1912
POOR RICHARD SAYS:
Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. Lawrence
Wise men learn by others' harms, foils scarcely by their own.
TOOTY TOOT TOOts
Here's a job for an ambitious student of the law, the statute books and labor problems.
Is there a law in Kansas declaring that whistles, said whistles being the property of the state, shall blow only seven times per day? Such a law certainly exists, for the whistle on the saw-tooth back of Marvin hall refuses to be blown any more in one day. Moreover, it must be a state law for action by the University Council may not annul the first in favor of the later motion.
Almost a week ago, the University Council adopted a resolution making the whistle in the power house, ruler of the destinies of the students and faculty members. Classes were to go by totoy toot toots. A ten minute period was provided between classes and the close of all lectures was to be announced by the hoarse voice of the University siren.
But, the whistle refuses to perform its extra duties. Perhaps while the law of the case is being investigated, it would be well for some medic to inquire into the health of the official tooter. It is barely possible that a bad cold has permitted the discharge of only its old and regular duties.
Meantime, whoever settles the question, whether lawyer or medic will undoubtedly gain the good wishes of the entire student body when those 10 minute respites commence.
Pity the poor high school students for a while if the professors who came to the Conference at the University try to put into practice everything they heard here.
BASEBALL FOR EVERYONE
Much has been said in the past few years about the underdevelopment of the American student in the colleges. Educators have maintained that the non-competitor has not been given the attention that should be his, that all American young men do not play the game for the game and for themselves, but rather watch from the bleachers some one of their fellows, who excels, pit his prowess against that of the picked men from the neighboring school.
Much of this comment probably is true and is substantiated by facts and figures gathered by physical examinations conducted by doctors and physicians.
However, those at the head of the physical education departments of the universities are introducing athletic features that will tend to improve the physical well-being of the everyday student and interest him in some sport.
The general theory upon which all sports and games are established, is being used as a basis in this work "Let all the men handle the ball—or whatever the instrument may be that is used in the game." As long as every man can exercise his own
skill in a company of men who are on a level with himself, his interest will remain intense.
Here in Kansas, basket-ball teams have been organized in the past two years representing every school and class in the University, placing more than one hundred men on the floor.
At the University of Illinois, the athletic management has announced that twenty baseball teams will be organized this spring among the undergraduate students and that a championship series will be played. In this same way, other out-door sports are being organized and encouraged for all the men of the student body there.
However, for Kansas, the same drawback that was encountered at Illinois, has been the principle reason why the plan has not been worked out more completely to include baseball as well as the winter sport, basket-ball. Such an extensive athletic organization requires money for its maintenance. At the University of Illinois, it required several years for the management to save the necessary funds for working out their plan of "more democracy" in athletics for the student body.
Until the time comes, when our athletic association can afford to support twenty baseball teams, students here must be content to indulge in "town ball," "two-old-cat," "or choosin'-up-sides" out on the golf links when a bunch can be rather together.
"One-Ole-Cat" is a great game.
Baseball, in its present pomp, offers nothing to compare with the satisfying scores of 60 to 21 of the sand-lot game.
"ONE-OLD-CAT."
Some of the pleasures of this little brother of the national game will be introduced at Washington this season, when some twenty fraternity, dormitory and club teams are organized to compete in regular series.
The main feature of the kids' contest is that everyone from little Eddie, who sits in the first seat in the first row in the primary grade, to Butch Jones, who drives the grocery wagon, can play on equal terms. They all get a chance to bat. It is this idea that has been adopted into the university plan, and everyone, spectacled A. B, or lengthily miner, can get into the game, even if it is only to occupy a remote corner of the outfield.
No batting-average problem will hang over the heads of these 180 university players. Taking the ball on the second bounce won't be a serious offense, and the question of errors will lie lightly on their minds.
It'll be a great series. Out in the open air, and everybody will get a chance to bat.—University Washington Daily.
HOUSE CLEANING NOTE
Professor E. E. Nicholson has lost a notebook containing the results of two years experimental work. Professor Nicholson has offered a reward of ten dollars for the return of the book. Minnesota Weekly.
Gifts of over half a million dollars to the University of California have just been consummated, through the deeding of property by trustees for the late Mrs. Jane K. Sather, of Oakland. Plans have been begun for the Sather Campanile, a lofty bell-tower, for which Mrs. Sater provided some $200,000,
WHEN RICH FRIENDS DIE
Cayuga Lake is frozen from end to end. This is the first time since 1885 that ice has covered the entire lake. Every few years ice forms for a distance of several miles from either end, but there is a stretch in the middle, where the greatest depth of water occurs, that rarely freezes.—Cornell Alumni News.
COLD AT CORNELL
AN EDITORIAL BY MR. AESOP
A TORTOISE desired to change his place of residence, so he asked an Eagle to carry him to his new room. He asked the Eagle reward for her trouble. The Eagle agreed, and seizing the Tortoise by the shell with her talons, soared aloft. On their way they met a Crow, who said to the Eagle: "Tortoise is good eating." "The shell is too hard," said the Crow, as the Eagle could easily crack the shell," was the Crow's answer; and the Eagle, taking the hint, let fall the Tortoise on a sharp rock, and the two birds made a hearty meal off the Tortoise.
Never soar aloft on an enemy's pinions
"A little cribbing now and then Has saved some of our brightest men." — Punch Bowl.
THE SAD, SAD GRIND OF OUR COLLEGE LIFE
She says she simply can't do a thing with her hair.
But what, pray, could she ever do without it?  — Purple Cow.
Soph—Say, lend me a bone, old man?
Freshman—Didn't you ask me for one yesterday?
He took a calendar in hand,
And learned with sudden sorrow,
Today, "tomorrow," yesterday,
Is yesterday tomorrow.
Soph—Well, maybe I did; I'm a regular boneless wonder. No, let me. "The牙."
-Lampoon.
Fault-finding Junior—I wonder why the deuce they don't cut out the eyes of these potatoes before they mash 'em. Freshman (about to flee from the table)—Why, you know old fellow, it's so the pommes de terre can find their way into the dining room.
Punch Bowl.
When the horse balked on the grade-
rossing, was the engineer?
—Punch Bowl.
She—Oh, Prof. Cook, we'll just love o have you and your wife chaperone he freshman girls' party to Shevlin.
Prof. Cook—But, my dear young ady, I am not married.
She—Oh, that's too bad, (then, as a sudden inspiration hits her), but, professor, the party isn't for two weeks "et." "The —Mimie Ha-Ha
Girl (preparing little flat supper)— "You won't mind if I use my hands in these cakes because—
Student Boy—“Oh, go ahead, don't mind me, I'm just off a cattleboat where we ate like pigs!”
Prof. (figuring on a slide rule)—“2 times 2 equals 3.999. Oh, well, we will call it four.”
Judge.
I simply detest that girl. Why?
The Widow.
PUT LIGHTS OUT—FIRED.
What?
She told lies about me.
Cheer up. How would you feel if she told the truth? —Jester.
THE ENGLISH OF THE CIRCUS
TENT
"Moreover the rough-neck seldom lasts long at one job except in a coop capacity. He is sent to stack and
The ex-circus man peeled a banana.
"Say, babe, we have you college rah-rahs out of your underwear when it comes to slang." He spoke to a university student. "You fellows talk about 'rough-necks.' Where did you get the word? From the circuit talk about the 'rough-neck,' of the circus news. He drives stakes deep in the park. He cleans his pals is on and all the fancy people are busting their stays to see the free show he is in the residence part of the city sizing up back-doors and windows.
"Farmers go to the afternoon show; paint, powder and corsets go to the evening performance. The rough-neck visit Sail's room and joins himself to her rock-hoops and diamond rings, with a bracelet and an earring down town, which is to say, he throws a brick through a window in a jewelry store and steals a tray of diamonds.
"Next day all the janes, muffs molls, fruzies, beads and skirts, which are only other ways of saying 'women,' yap about the yegg, or in United States, talk about the burglar; and the rumble-promoters, rumble-sisters, the plain tattlers, have enough to keep them going for a month in stirring up mixes or rumbles, better known as scraps, by lying about what this and that dame is making him laugh; the routed man however, is miles away; and unless he has made a bloomer, or according to the dictionary guy, failed to land anything, is happy, whatever the snuff-eaters may say."
"The rough-neck, though, has his own troubles. Sometimes his key-oil, nitro-glycerine you would call it, gets him into a dust; and being armed like a battleship, he takes cinches, but no chances, and shoots. He gets called up before a bady. The mouth-pieces plead his case; he is tried by a full deck, that is, twelve jurymen, and two others, which are held with stripes, which means that he beats it to the pen for a year for each slit in the ends of his feet. The city dads scratch their heads and conclude the circus a bad proposition.
The circus man peeled another banana.
ROUGH-NECK TAKES A HIKE
FRIENDSHIP OF BOOKS
There are many virtues in books, but the essential value is the adding of knowledge to our stock of the record of new facts, and better, by the record of institutions which distribute facts, and the formulas which superseize all histories.
chains, or, to speak in Sunday school language, he is fired by being hit over the head with a club and left with his curtains until the circus pulls out of the city.
—R. W. EMERSON
"But mind you, kid, all circus men are not of the rough-neck type. Why, one of them died in the pen because he shot at a crook, missed, and took a banker in the gizzard. The banker's last words were, "Don't blame him; he was doing his duty for the sake of an honest circus." Prejudice against the circus professor convicted him."
The circus man felt in his pocket for another banana.
"Nix, diee-box with windows in it. What do you make of that? Well, I'll tell you. It is just one rough-neck's way of saying to another, 'Look out for the plain-clothes man wearing a derby hat and glasses.' I could talk all day and you wouldn't understand a word I said.
TROUBLE WITH PLAIN CLOTHES MAN
"The rough-neck's biggest job is taking care of the plain-clothes man. Here is Jim. Jim is suspected of being a stuffed civilian. There is John and Paul. Paul tumbles to Jim's game. He says to John, "Pipe the headlight." John takes a look under the lapels of Jim's coat for signs of a star. If Paul is not yet satisfied, he says, "Stall the globe," John stumps his toe, putting it down. He finds and finds whether or not he has a gun. John gets up and apologies. If he has felt a gun on Jim, he says, "Jie." They chase it.
"In another part of the town or circus grounds, they join a Keeser, or as George Washington would have it, they steal a suit case which they sell at a joint or dump; or maybe, they switch a phoney for a real diamond with a rock peddler in a down-twoen slum joint that has not been cracked. If the coast seems clear, they may touch a gig for a caser and put in the kick. To help out your English grinder at the University, I'll translate that into society: they may touch a sucker for a dollar and put it in their pocketets. If trouble stalls along, they may sheave him or give him the rod, which amounts to a dose of either the knife or the six-shooter. They call a policeman nix, corner-wait, fly-hob, floater, and on-the-plant. If a policeman or plain-clothes man is seen listening, one rough-neck warms the other by, 'Tin ear' or 'Clean out your mud valve.' Another banana went on the way of its fellows.
REPRESENTS HIGHEST TYPE.
"Circus in its highest development is spoken by the rough-neck spiker in front of the shows. A man with brushy whiskers comes up. He shows a roll of money when he makes a purchase and goes toward one of the tents. The spiker who has noticed the roll calls out to the man in front of the tent toward which whiskers is going "Crack Daddy Brush, bee ar strong." The other spiker translates the call, "Look out for the man with the brushy whiskers; he has a big bank card," and the spiker who is arriving meddyke, then the call is, "Bring me a whisk broom; I want to brush my hat." A short, stubby heard is a daubing brush. If the man has only side-boards, the next spiker hears, 'Hang up your face curtains when you go home tonight.'
"Whiskers no matter how trimmed gets trimmed. If he passes the next spieter the call is passed on also. Rough-necks follow him and get him into a flat-joint, that is, a crooked game. If everything else fails to separate him from his wad, the cry is, 'Cop the moll.' Mrs. Jents takes charge of him and relieves him if possible of his coin.
FOLLOW WHISKERS UP CLOSELY.
"The circus is a language mill. There is where you fellows get your slang."
"Were you a rough-neck?" the student ventured.
The circus man's shoulders came forward. His jaw dropped.
"You blasted, pale-faced hunk of mud, don't you dare to call me that."
Say, youngster, give me four bits.
I want to go to the Wabash to get some bananas."—H. J. McK, in University Missouri.
OLD FRIENDS IN VERSE
THE WORLD'S NEED So many gods, so many creeds.
So many paths that wind and wind
Wind. We are kind, we are kind,
all the sad world needs us.
—ELLA WHEELEER WILCOX.
Copyright 1912, Alfred Decker & Cohn
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Society Brand Clothes
Are the Highest Type Made.
PECKHAM'S
The Young Man's Store
For the past three years there have been spent in Lawrence for improvements one million dollars a year. In 1909 the street railway system was included in this amount and in 1910 there was extensive railway construction but during the last year almost the whole amount represented improvements by private citizens and the municipality. One million dollars translated into buildings and pavement and sewers and homes means a growing city -- an ideal place for a home.
The Merchants' Association Lawrence
PROF
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717 Mass. Street Lawrence, Kan
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