University Daily Kansan Wednesday, June 6. 1973 5 KU's Alien Minority Foreign Students Attempt to Live With Small Unhappinesses... From Page One Indian Women Find Things to Smile About Despite Isolation in a Strange Land other foreign students I have interviewed so far has given me exactly the same answer. It has been an automatic, programmed response, just a bit too pat. I shift my ground, ask when she first came to Lawrence, what her feelings were in the first few weeks, the people she got to know the things she did, the food she ate and so on. I am preying into matters that may not be any of my business but I have a job to do. I must satisfy myself that "pretty good" is the best American. "Great" graduates to everything American. The inscrutable foreign feeler, ate, an- Out come feelings of extreme loneliness, disappointment, insecurity and resentment at being rejected by American students. BUT THAT is not an easy task. Despite my being a foreigner too, I can sense the reluctance on the part of my interviewee to say anything. So, on impulse, I tell her that no names will be used in my story and that she may speak freely and frankly. I am made to repeat the assurance, and then the breakthrough is made. The floodgates open. The reticence of the past few minutes gives way to an outpouring of hurt feelings and complaints about things that have made her unhappy. And with this is a resignation to unhappiness, a shrug of the shoulder and the foot. IN THE DAYS that follow, I speak to many others. In each case the interviews follow the same pattern, with unhappiness being expressed in varying degrees. But always, at the end, the brave smile and the contradictory "Oh, I like it here." THEN HE looked through the telephone directory until he found a familiar name, explained his plight to the student from his country whom he had called up, and was eating his first meal in 8 hours, shortly afterwards. It would have been a good thing if this were true. Unfortunately, for many of them their troubles began the day they landed here. Because they did not know better, they found themselves in helpless situations. It is all very well, probably, for them to suffer in silence because they convince themselves that no one cares enough to do anything. But in the meantime, their "hosts," the Americans, haven't an inkling that anything is wrong. One student rode in from Kansas City in a taxi because the last bus for Lawrence had already left. He managed to find overnight accommodation at one of the residence houses on the water front of the water fontain to keep his hunger pains away until he could bear it no more. There are other tales which just add up to a shocked realization on the part of the newly-arrived foreign student that no one knows about him. In the days that follow he may also begin to think that no one cares, and may accept this. IN THE MEANTIME, more and more foreign students come to Kansas each year, eager and bright-eyed, and receive their orientation packets with a lot of exciting content. They realize that the packet is possible the extent of their "Welcome to KU." I spoke to a few American students to see whether they had ever thought of the problems foreign students might be facing. A few said they thought the foreign students were very happy here because that was what they always said. One person was hurt by the suggestion that they might actually be unhappy but said a little later: "Come to think of it, guess it would be kinda tough if you tried to live in a new place with almost nothing to relate to." ONE STUDENT said that a little unhappiness was the price foreign students would have to pay "for the benefit of an American" could not possibly get in their own country." Strangely enough, foreign students agree. In fact, the most common reason for concern is that they are not being educated. various problems, was the degree they hoped to take back with them, after The feeling expressed most often was that once this was over, they would be able to return to their countries, and a world turned upside down. The real difference with different culture would then right itself. "But that's not fair: they might be prepared to take things that way, but that doesn't say much for us," an American girl protested. "WHAT DO THESE guys say when they get back?" We got enough people hating us in other countries; we need a few friends," said another American student. But if it's merely a question of "image" Americans need worry little. Foreign students consider their inability to fit in or be happy a reflection upon themselves. Most of them use the rare occasions when they do get together with Americans to take photographs to show back home. It is hard to imagine doing different would constitute a loss of face. I asked a "concerned" American student whether he would be willing to take part in an effort to improve the lot of foreign students at KU. "LIKE I say, if I had the time I sure would," he said. "But when I get a few minutes I go out for a beer or something of the guys: so I really see no way." In the meantime, the foreign student continues to be a part of the campus community, an insular individual or member of the community. He is never really a part of the community. "There is a barrier between us and the Americans," said one student, and others added. "IDON'T know if the trouble was with me or with them," another student said, adding that she had a problem with other foreign students. "I feel isolated," she said, "but I manage not to be unhappy." One student said he was happy after he had accepted that he would never fit in with the group. "They made me feel different," he said, and when I got used to the idea, it was OK. He made me feel different. I tried to find out reasons for a foreign student's feeling "inferior" in a society dedicated to the freedom and the equality of man. "LANGUAGE IS probably the greatest barrier," one student said, although he spoke English well enough to be clearly understood. Another spoke of the inability of American students to understand strange words and sentences in their time for anything they cannot understand." "A man who cannot understand you will Kansan Staff Photo by PRIS BRANDSTED Study is What Matters not listen to you for long," said another, with Confucian logic. "Now I know what Negroes have felt all these years in this country," complained one student, asking what he called a "racist" American roommates to look down upon him. an American's helped fit in more readily than students from other countries "People who have trouble communicating are really lost," she said. A EUROPEAN student said she thought that the fact that her appearance was like A student from one of the Scandinavian countries said that the few Americans he could call friends wondered why he had been an English student from underdeveloped countries. "Such attitudes have made me cynical and sarcastic. I tend now to look down upon them." The creation of great misunderstandings between Americans and students from different parts of the world is probably one of the most significant misunderstandings in munications breakdown between the two. ALREADY, SOME damage appears to have been done. Denied the cultural interchange each student comes here in exertion will have little chance to hold in contempt every American. The urge to give of themselves seems to be very strong in foreign students. American offices abroad instruct them to come out here armed with information and materials, they teach them the skills, and they set foot on American soil believed to be here are as ambassadors of goodwill. when they realize that no one is sufficiently curious about their countries or the ways in which they are often bitterly disappointed. Faced with an American's apathy toward their own culture, some students tend to react to it by declining their American culture with a "What culture?" One of the students interviewed slashed out rather violently when he was asked for help. 1 "THINK it' s just a bastardization of an aesthetic and disguised middle-class behavior." Not many students reacted this way, but comments they made showed rapidly increasing disillusionment about this country. They appeared to have given thought to what they considered "abnormal unfriendliness for a person of a host country." Even those who had made a few friends said that American friendliness was superficial at best, "confined to loud greetings that make you feel good till you see them the next time—and they ignore you." "It is not what we call friendship," said one student. "In our country we would do anything for a friend. But here, everything is so shallow." "AMERICANS ARE much friendlier abroad," observed another, and most of the students I spoke with agreed with her. "Foreign students expect them to be like that and are badly disappointed. But I guess they don't understand countries they are friendly because they are and as we are now. Here, they don't need us." A couple of students complained that the brief interest displayed in them by Americans was the attention they would have given any "odidity." But, the students insisted that their curiosity was satisfied, the Americans were greeted them at subsequent meetings. I told my interviewees that Americans charged that foreign students hired toward ours, others from their own countries and were themselves responsible for their isolation. MOST STUDENTS admitted that this might be partially true, but argued that they had to go to our own kind in education. You have to have someone you can talk to. Most foreign students try to find excuses for their hosts' behavior. One put it down to a reluctance on the part of Americans to form close friendships or become emotionally attached to people, places or things. Foreign Language, Alphabet Can Be Problem for Foreign Students Several others, who have been to other regions in the United States, said that the lack of friendliness seemed to be peculiar to them, where people seem "afraid of forefathers." Kansan Staff Photo bv PRIS BRANDSTED ONE OF THE Americans interviewed was a University of Texas doctoral candidate now with the University of Missouri as an instructor in sociology. Her dissertation focused on how she has worked on studies involving foreign students in other parts of the country. She said she was positive this region was less friendly than back East because of a strong conservative streak in the people. She added that in her own native city of Austin, Tex., things would probably be worse. Sise said she realized the foreign student community was cut off from the rest of the world, even though she had been because of ethnocentricism and an unwillingness on the part of Americans to give in. "We are so fortunate," she Some foreign students seem concerned enough to want some kind of program for them, but many are not prepared for damage done to the foreign-American relationship, they believe that a "criminal shortsightedness" on the part of the American students is available for the communication breakdown. One student called for "concert action to let the Americans know we are here and eager to learn about them." Another said, "We want to be good that we should be cut off this way." These are the ones who are hopeful that something can still be done. But others have already turned away, convinced that narcissists are interested only in themselves. "YOURE ETHIER accepted or you're not," said one student who indicated that he had been partially accepted. "But there is nothing you can do about it. The only hope for foreign students is greater interdependence upon themselves." "I am here to study; I don't give a damn if they don't want our friend's, said another student, adding, a little later, that he would respond to an show of interest. "It is ideal if we, as hosts, make a few moves. too," he said. Some attempt to bring foreign students together with Americans is made through monthly People-to-People programs, which, for a small amount of money, take foreign students on guided tours to places Students expressed appreciation of this handsome Small World II. program for wives and children of foreigners at KU. REACTIONS TO THE Lawrence Host Family program were less enthusiastic. Students said they saw little good coming out what turned out to be for most of them a one-shot get-together with an American family. One student called it "humbug." One student complained that at his first meeting with his host family, his religion was ridiculed, and the family never saw him again. "I sent them Christmas presents and they never even said thank you," he said. Some students have had better luck with the families assigned to them and manage to get together more than once a semester. Three of the students I spoke to told me of the family here that I had known had found a family that I had known the things her own family would have done. INQUIRIES REVEALED that the people in question were the Stockwells, 503 Arizona St. I asked Hiram Stockwell, who is assistant director of the KU printing service, why he and his wife had done more for this girl than the program called for. Explaining that he and his wife had been co-chairpersons of the program some time earlier, Stockwell said their actions had driven the definite need the girl had of assistance. "She was completely alone—these people knew few other people—and she needed advice, transportation and other assistance." he said. “If we were in another country we would probably have wanted someone to do the same for us. And this was certainly no burden.” he added. FACED WITH such isolated examples of friendship and concern, the foreign student finds his concept of mid-Western unfriendiness rapidly disintegrating. "I guess there are a lot of good people around," says one. "We aren't looking hard at it." KANSAN WANT ADS In tomorrows Kansas: Foreign Students and the KU ad- dministration Test No. Name Test No. Name Test No. 1. 0.06 2. 0.35 3. 0.78 4. 1.21 5. 0.09 6. 0.44 7. 0.69 8. 1.04 9. 0.12 10. 0.55 11. 0.89 12. 1.34 13. 0.16 14. 0.69 15. 1.14 16. 1.69 17. 0.21 18. 0.74 19. 1.27 20. 1.82 21. 0.26 22. 0.80 23. 1.24 24. 1.88 25. 0.29 26. 0.84 27. 1.28 28. 1.92 29. 0.33 30. 0.87 31. 1.32 32. 1.86 33. 0.36 34. 0.89 35. 1.34 36. 1.96 37. 0.40 38. 0.92 39. 1.36 40. 1.98 41. 0.44 42. 0.96 43. 1.38 44. 1.98 45. 0.48 46. 1.00 47. 1.42 48. 1.96 49. 0.52 50. 1.04 51. 1.46 52. 1.96 53. 0.56 54. 1.08 55. 1.49 56. 1.98 57. 0.60 58. 1.12 59. 1.54 60. 1.98 61. 0.64 62. 1.16 63. 1.58 64. 2.02 65. 0.68 66. 1.20 67. 1.62 68. 2.16 69. 0.72 70. 1.24 71. 1.76 72. 2.28 73. 0.76 74. 1.38 75. 1.82 76. 2.34 77. 0.80 78. 1.42 79. 1.86 80. 2.38 81. 0.84 82. 1.48 83. 1.92 84. 2.48 85. 0.88 86. 1.52 87. 1.96 88. 2.48 89. 0.92 90. 1.56 91. 2.00 92. 2.48 93. 0.96 94. 2.00 95. 2.48 96. 2.96 97. 1.00 98. 2.48 99. 3.00 100. 3.48 FOR SALE WATER--you can drink it, wash it and put ON. 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