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TEXT FREE FOR ALL
Text your FFA submissions to (785)289-8351 or at kansan.com
If Bill Self is Batman, I guess he sleeps on my couch... My apartment's halfway underground. Totally the (real) Batcave. You're welcome to crash any time. Coach.
Sorry DDI, but this is salmon Chubbies weather. It's never cargo shorts weather.
There are very few things I care less about than having the most energy efficient building on campus.
Lefties unite!!!
Uniformed soldiers marching campus? YUM!!
I love the phantom carillon player.
What if when I'm like eating two different kinds of meat and then when the animals were alive they lived on the same farm and were like besties?
Holy humidity! A bomb has exploded on my head.
To the girl next to me...yes I did just toss all the other pages and kept the FFA page...judge on B***h, judge on. But 1st, let me take a selfie.
I wonder how many drunk FFA submissions there are.
Editor's Note. The drunk phone calls are the best.
Hmm... I like this Apathetic Party idea...
Hey look it's elementary students outside the history museum... Must be on their way to the Hawk.
Evolution, I could explain it~could you understand it?
Guy just updated his sexual preferences in my lecture.
to people that leave their clothes
in the washer in McCollum, CAN
YOU NOT!
Want to know what I'm most proud of during my college career? Winning last night's game of True American.
To the male/female reader of the UDK who wants an explanation of evolution, hit me up. 4th floor Wescoe outside rm 4033 MWF 9-9.50.
I've got 99 problems, and Calculus is all of them.
Finding a desk in the stacks with a charger = more elusive than finding a manbearig.
We're all adults here: Flush the toilet and wash your hands.
Define yourself by what you do, not what you are
I feel like shrieking along to my favorite Sparks album today. It's called "Kimono My House," and it has a swell cover with a picture of two women in kimonos looking bubbly and stereotypical. To think that if they'd released it today instead of in 1974, people would have called that cover "cultural appropriation" and cried for the band to be filleted on the cutting board of tolerance. If you have so few problems that you have time to scold somebody who isn't Japanese for wearing a kimono, I envy you. Mostly because you can use chopsticks; I always look stupid eating Tryyaki with a fork.
That was a joke. Don't get your kimono in a twist.
I belt the opening lines and head to Thought Catalog, because I'm jonesing for some faux outrage. A writer claims she's oppressed because her Catholic university didn't want its name attached to her women's studies department's production of "The Vagina Monologues." She recalls her performance, which she and her friends dragged their hyper-conservative families to: "When you can stare down a middle-aged Irish-Catholic man... and talk about your love of pleasuring a woman, you can truly do ANYTHING." Apparently, subjecting your aging relatives to speeches
about your sex life is what empowerment looks like now. Who knew?
By Sylas May
opinion@kansan.com
I finish with Sparks and put on Brian Eno's "Taking Tiger Mountain." One lyric jumps out at me.
"I'm wasting fingers like I had them to spare / Plugging holes in the Zuiderzee."
You know, we once had holes in the dikes of our fundamental rights and a generation of activists with waterlogged fingers held back the sea until our government could plug the holes more effectively.
But that didn't stop people from wanting to put their fingers in things, and now we're convincing each other that sitting on the dike and putting our fingers in our own orifices is just as revolutionary as what the old guard did in our grandparents' time.
So instead of yelling about microaggressions on your favorite millennial hive, why not just thank those who made sure you could vote, go to school and get a job, no matter the color of your skin or the shape of your crotch? Think: these people devoted their lives to plugging that dike, so you wouldn't have to plug it yourself.
How do you repay them?
By using your precious talent to rant about your genitals? By guarding the
kimono factory, ensuring the white man doesn't use your culture to sell albums? If the progressives of the past were here, they'd probably tell you to quit wallowing and show your "oppressors" up. They didn't spend all that time holding back the Zuiderzee for you to just stay victims, did they?
Want more women doing science? If you're a woman looking for a major, take some science electives; you could be that female scientist we need. Can't stand white folks like Macklemore usurping traditionally black genres of music? Make something better. There are many outlets for local musicians in Lawrence; if you're less annoying than Miley Cyrus, you could amass throngs of rabid fans.
Whatever you do,define yourself by your vocation instead of by your race or gender. The latter are based on dumb luck,but the former is based on your impressive talent that you took the time to refine.
And, as you knock their socks off, make your mantra an old progressive's saying: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Don't worry; I'm pretty sure calling that a mantra doesn't constitute appropriating his culture.
Sylas May is a junior from Derby studying German and journalism.
RICKY SMITH/KANSAN
Tips are a must, not a maybe
As a waitress who almost relies solely on tips for my income, I appreciated where the article "Service Workers Rely on Tips More than Wages" was coming from. Despite its good intentions, applying the 15 percent standard for tipping servers to all restaurants is problematic.
Though the number came from CNN, it fails to account for different ways restaurants divide the servers tips. A lot of restaurants, including mine, make servers tip out hosts, busers, kitchen staff and bartenders by a percentage of their total sales. Your tip is not going directly to the server. Most servers make $2 to $3 each hour and whatever tips people give them for their service. After giving a portion of my gratuity to all these people at the end of the day, sometimes I will make less than minimum wage per hour on slow nights, even if people tip 10 to 15 percent. Working weekends, when it's busier, can make up for the difference. But that puts someone in a hard situation if they aren't scheduled for a weekend or need to take
those days off.
The minimum you should tip someone should be 20 percent if that person works at a restaurant that has a bar, hosts and busiers. Good or bad service. If the restaurant doesn't have any of these, then the 10 to 15 percent range is acceptable. Tip more if your server provided excellent service. Do not go out to eat if you don't factor in the cost of the tip. Please.
Something the article could have also mentioned is that most people don't realize what good service is. I've been stiff for things that were beyond my control — the food or drinks taking longer than usual, being sat somewhere they disliked, and so on. If your server can guide you through the menu, checks up on you and has a friendly attitude they're doing their job well. Tip them accordingly.
Serving without tips, or without adequate tips, is not a living wage. Appreciate your servers.
Megan Wetschensky is a junior from Overland Park studying social welfare and Spanish.
FFA OF THE DAY I woke up cuddling my computer. I think I just gave up on human interaction.
Check out the second part of the cartoon at KANSAN.COM/OPINION
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How important is tipping your server well at a restaurant?
Length: 300 words
The submission should include the author's name, grade and hometown. Find our full letter to the editor policy online at kansas.com/letters.
@KansanOpinion beyond important. $2.13/hour is not enough to live on.
Allison Köhn, managing editor akohn@kansan.com
Lauren Armendariz, managing editor larmendariz@kansan.com
Katie Kutsko, editor-in-chief kkutsko@kansan.com
@NerdyNita
@Caleb Bobo
@KansanOpinion Very important! You don't realize it however until you've worked in food service...
TheStruggleIsReal
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@KansanOpinion Very important. They don't get paid enough for you to gyp them. $5 means a helluva lot more to them than it does to you.
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