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TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014
entertainment
HOROSCOPES Because vague astrological predictions are kind of right
You'll receive a lot of junk mail today and you'll probably get a C in that insignificant gen ed class. Also, pay your cable bill; DVR is about to be discontinued if you don't
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Today is a 4,3
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Today is a 6.7
Try your luck with reality t.v. "Millionaire Matchmaker," "Dance Moms" and "Lost and Afraid" are all looking for new talent. You'll look great in glitter or drinking champagne on a yacht.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Today is a 7
The classmate next to you thinks you're cute. Speak up and ask them out. Or Facebook stalk them until class ends. Your call.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Today is a 6.57
You're not taking care of yourself. Crack open a beer, turn on the t.v. and skip class for a change. Your future can wait, a new episode of "Duck Dynasty" is on.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Today is a 6
I dare you to go streaking down
Jayhawk Boulevard. Literally, I
triple-dog dare you.
If you complete this challenge, your
day will be a 100.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today is a 7
That Malaysian plane still hasn't been found. Other than that, I guess you'll have an ok day.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Today is a 6
Beyonce was in my dream last night, and she told me that you're about to have the best day ever. #surfboard
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Today is a 8
You'll gain one new Twitter follower
and someone will retweet your witty
tweet about Duke and Kentucky. All
and all, life is good.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Today is a .34
Your roommate stole your peanut butter and finished your leftover Chipotle. Worst day ever? Sounds like it.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Today is a 4.5
Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend,
but you're still alone. Have no fear.
Tinder is here. Enjoy the matches
while they last.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Today is a 9
Did that attractive GTA just wink at you?!! Karma is on your side, so play it cool.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today is a 13
New business venture: Taco delivery service. Drop out of school, open this shop and the student body will thank you.
Recycle this paper
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ART
FILE PHOTO/KANSAN
Apple LaRouche observes local art in Lawrence. In 2015, there will be no more art to look at, as an extremely prominent Kansas public official wants to ban all art from Lawrence.
Kansas official bans all art in Lawrence
JED I. KNIGHT entertain@kansan.com
An extremely prominent Kansas public official said he would like to ban the citizens of Lawrence from producing or condoning "any and all things artsy," for the sake of Kansas' reputation and productivity.
"If the people of Lawrence would stop worrying about art and start operating small businesses, Kansas would be a much more productive state," the extremely prominent Kansas public official said. "I think the state has tolerated art long enough.
It's linked to drug abuse, lawlessness and teen pregnancy. It leads students to mooch off of the rest of society because they're not working and can't support themselves."
The public official cut all state-funded arts programs in 2011, and saw the more specific ban on Lawrence art as addressing the root of the problem.
"Let's face it. Lawrence is the leading producer of most of Kansas' art," said the extremely prominent Kansas public official. "People ask 'What's the matter with Kansas?' when they should be asking 'What's the matter with Lawrence?' We believe we've found the answer to that question: so-called artistic expression."
Within hours of the Kansas public official's comments,
Some acted quickly and bought one-way bus and plane tickets to cities notably similar to Lawrence, such as Boulder, Co., and Eugene, Ore.
Meadow Brook, a local artist and Lawrence resident of more than 30 years, said she has finally had enough of the extremely prominent Kansas public official's policies and wants to relocate to Boulder, where she can freely make art and smoke marijuana.
"You know what, I've had enough of the public official's
Lawrence citizens were organizing protests.
Members of the Angry at Anarchist Artists group supported the public official's ban by protesting in Lawrence on Monday.
Janice Steinmen, an AAA member, held a sign saying "Earth without ART is E.H.: Extremely Healthy".
"It's time parents stop telling their kids that they can be who they want to be," Steinmen said. "We don't want kids to end up being societal leeches. We don't want our kids being like, well, Lady Gaga.
My daughter knows that just because she can move a brush
ANONYMOUS Kansas public official
Apple LaRouche, a Lawrence street musician, didn't seem to be distraught over the new regulations.
"Whatever," LaRouche said. "They say that artists are 'moochers' but you know who's gonna have to take care of me when I'm not playing anymore? Yeah, that's right. Them. F--- communists."
"People ask, 'What's the matter with Kansas?' when they should be asking, "What's the matter with Lawrence?'"
around a piece of paper doesn't mean she's special. Try eating oil pastels for breakfast when your parents can't feed you anymore."
policies and want to relocate to Boulder," she said. "At least there I can freely make art and smoke marijuana."
The ban is scheduled to take place in phases. Phase one, banning of all street musicians and vendors, will take place in August. P
Phase two, banning of the creation and sale of artistic things, will be implemented in December.
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