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TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014
I'M LOVIN' IT
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
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CHAMBREY THOMAS/KANSAN
Whether you're in an open relationship or not, actively seeking partnership or tightly tied down to one boring and unfulfilling relationship, these tips can spice up the romance and maybe kick you out of your dating rut.
Spice up your night
FLYNN GREY III
entertain@kansan.com
Wondering how to take things to the next level with your cuddle muffin? Here are four hot tips that will spice up the romance and drive your partner crazy.
1. Try some sexy roleplay
Nothing makes your significant other (SO) feel better than dressing up in their cutest outfit and being ogled by everybody in sight. But why stop there? Bring your sugar bear's fantasies to life with roleplay. You can't go wrong with the sexy school teacher fantasy or the intrusive cop. If you're feeling really bold you can give the school mascot fantasy a try!
2. Tell them exactly what you want
People don't want to waste their time trying to figure out exactly what you want in bed, so be sure to tell them! You can compare your love monkey's technique with your past lovers on a regular basis to let them know how they stack up. Your main squeeze will appreciate your honesty and will be thrilled to learn that move that your ex always used.
3. Stimulate all the senses
Touching is overrated. Studies show that a human being's sense of smell is closest to their pleasure receptors. Your honey bun's nose won't know what hit them when you come home with a sexy new cologne or perfume. To really drive your sex kitten wild, douse yourself with the exact scent their mom wore when they were a young'n.
4. Bring food into the bedroom
Like scent, taste is another underutilized sense in lovemaking. You two will need your energy for an all-night session, so why not incorporate food? Go with the classic chocolate-covered strawberries, or mix things up by sharing a rack of baby back ribs. No plates necessary!
Game changers for the first date
ZOE STARWOOD
entertain@kansan.com
Dear students of KU
I know that all of you want to be a date magnet,but not many people will be honest and tell you what they really want.I'm here to set the record straight for what young people crave on a first date. These five tips will guide you to the best night of your life.
1. Never break eye contact
Nothing says, "I want you now," like eye contact. So at dinner, be sure to initiate the first move by making it a secret staring competition across the table. It's important that your date doesn't know there's a competition, so you can win. For example, when you're reaching for the bread basket, keep those eyes locked on theirs. They'll love the intensity.
2. Skip the romantic stuff
As students, we want to get down to business as quickly as possible. A lot of people will say they only want to get to know you for your personality, but we all know that's a lie. As a student, I can vouch for everyone when I say that all we really want after the date is to get to know your body, so we can immediately compare it to the previous people we've dated.
3. Picking noses
If you don't know how to make your first physical move, I have a game changer. I'll never forget when a guy started by giving me a simple kiss then proceeded to grab my finger and place it inside my own nose. I was essentially picking my own nose. It was incredible. I advise everyone to try this at least three times before making things "Facebook Official."
4. Use lots of tongue
Take it from our man Ludacris when he says, "I want to li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes." Yes, Luda, you nailed it with this verse. However, focus your attention on our mouths and drench us with your saliva while also playing a game of, "Tug-O-War" with our tongues. The wetter the better.
5. Keep maximum amount of clothing on*
*Disclaimer: This tip is for the advanced only.
Bill Self reveals true identity as masked hero Batman
If you really want to spice things up, leave on as much clothing as possible while still being able to get steamy. This will bring you back to your old high school days of hooking up in your parent's basement without being caught. Can't you feel the sexual tension brewing already?
ROBIN MARSHALL entertain@kansan.com
For years, the identity of beloved superhero Batman has been hidden away from the world; some have speculated that Bruce Wayne could be the hero, but the identity of the masked crusader is much closer to home. Years of evidence point to one conclusion: Bill Self, the esteemed coach of the men's basketball team, is also tirelessly fighting crime as Batman.
Like Batman, Self is a prominent figure in his community and is known for his power, status and wealth. This gives him a unique position where he is in the public eye, but not much is really known about him (Have you ever tried to set up an interview with the guy? He's impossible to get in touch with. Coincidence? I think not.). He is revered because of his work, which helps maintain his status and keep up the ruse so no one will discover his secret.
Self is also known for his philanthropy work; just this season he entered a
competition with two other Kansas schools to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters. He was also recognized by the United Nations for his work with the Boy Scouts and Boys and Girls Clubs of America. Batman was orphaned young, so it makes sense that Self would want to be involved in benefiting kids' lives. Plus, Batman is known for selflessly protecting the city without any true recognition, just like Self's altruism.
For 10 straight seasons Self has tirelessly defended the Big 12 title and has worked to protect the Jayhawk reputation, which parallels Batman's work to guard Gotham and make the city a better place for all its citizens. Under his watch, the Jayhawks have won a national championship and he is known for having the best six-year record in Division I history. The work he has put in to defend the Jayhawks' reputation makes it pretty obvious that he is a superhero.
With all the evidence piling up, it seems that the only question left: Is Allen Fieldhouse the Batcave?
RICK ROSS/KANSAN
In light of his recent NCAA tournament loss, Self reveals his true identity as superhero Batman. Gotham City officials were unavailable before deadline.
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