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—Paige Worthy
By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett
When's the last time you had a decent foot job?
Everything's dreamy with my new boyfriend until we start fooling around. I get really freaked out because his fingernails are long and I think he could cut me. Should I tell him to cut them or is that mean?
—Lilian, freshman
Jessi: Let's make a distinction. Mean is laughing at an elderly person when their walker slips and they fall to the ground. Common courtesy is asking your boyfriend to trim his nails so that he won't slice your genitals. It's an issue of self respect. Do you love your vagina?
Chris: It'll only be mean if you tell him in a bitchy way. So don't be bitchy. I can't stand long fingernails. And long toenails make me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I hate that. Let him know he's not touching the box unless his nails are clean and well-trimmed. We're not talking manicures here, just a little self-respect and personal hygiene.
I asked a girl out for drinks and she excitedly said "yes:" But then when we got to the bar she revealed that she didn't drink alcohol. WTF? I didn't know what to do. Should I have drank as usual or stayed sober with my date? And was she BS'ing me for some reason or what?
Jessi: The fact that she said yes speaks volumes. Not only does she like you enough to go out with you, but she'll go out with you for drinks when she doesn't even drink. And she most likely wasn't BS'ing you since she never actually said "Yes, I will drink alcoholic beverages with you in a bar setting." I'm sure she would have said "yes" had you asked her to coffee or eat babies. As for your drinking, you should have done what you would have normally without going overboard.
Chris: Since you were at a bar I'd ask her if she was OK with you drinking; but limit yourself to one or two drinks. Better yet, you could suggest that you leave and head somewhere else for coffee. But don't assume because she doesn't drink she doesn't want to be at a bar, the atmosphere may be what she's after. And Jessi is right, Sober Sally's willingness to "meet you for drinks" is a good sign she's interested. I'd try to make out with her soon.
What is a foot job? I've heard the term but i have no idea what it really means. Is it like a blow job for feet?
—Dan, sophomore
Jessi: I think it's when you get a pedicure and start dating your pedicurist. Actually, according to my resources, a "foot job" is when a woman stimulates a man's member with her feet in an attempt to pleasure him. No toe-sucking is involved.
Chris: I'm deeming foot jobs to be the new Hotness of Spring 2005. For those of us who aren't hipsters and lack class: a foot job can be anything involving feet to stimulate the junk. According to Internet porn, popular maneuvers include girls pressing the arches of their feet together and having the guy eff the space between. Or on the flip-side, the toes can be used to stimulate the girl's cookie or other nearby locales. (i.e. the butt)
Got a burning question? E-mail us at bitch@kansan.com.