Professional Relationships
By Samara Nazir, Jayplaywriter
Students and teachers can be friends
Excited, Tracy Altman picks up a book for herself and her professor and heads to the checkout counter. The book was perfect and she knew her professor would love it.
Photo illustration by Kit Leffler
Students and professors can be friends despite the hierarchy of power. While some students and professors prefer to keep relationships formal, they agree that an informal friendship can be a good idea However, these friendships must be clearly defined because consequences could arise if those informal boundaries become intimate.
For Altman, Overland Park senior, being friends with her professor worked well for her. They were able to connect because of something they were both passionate about: Judaism. Altman met her Jewish-American literature teacher through the Lawrence Jewish Community Center during a brunch. Second semester of her sophomore year, Altman had her as a teacher. Even when Altman studied abroad in Israel, both kept in touch through e-mails. Altman would send pictures and frequent updates on her trip. It was also refreshing for Altman to receive academic help from her professor about transfer credits while studying abroad.
It's important for professors to be warm with students but also to keep formal relationships, Dave Frier, professor of anthropology, says. When he works closely with undergraduate students on projects, Frier makes an effort to get to know the student but is careful to leave his and his students' personal lives out of the relationship. If students do come to him with personal problems, he often times refers them to others who can better advise them.
Other students agree with keeping relationships professional with teachers. Dave Rombeck, Belle Plain senior, visits with his teachers every so often outside of class, but he likes to keep it at a working relationship. He'll ask professors a question he may have on homework, but never anything personal. Rombeck says it would be awkward to approach a professor in that way. He thinks that if a professor and student become too close, it might become hard for the student to approach the teacher about issues such as a bad test grade. It could also ruin the academic relationship if both disagree on personal issues.
It's one thing to have a friendship with a professor and another to have an intimate relationship. There are University rules for
intimate relationships between a student and teacher. Kellie Harmon, assistant ombudsperson for the Ombudsman office at the University — which facilitates conflicts that arise among students, faculty and administration — says students and professors need to strictly follow the Consenting Relations Policy. However, Harmon discourages students and professors from pursuing intimate relationships because of the power deferential. Because students are under the evaluation of their professor, they are not equal in the relationship.
The policy does not say that students and professors cannot be in a relationship, but it does state that they have to talk to their department to discuss the issue. The professor must also be removed from a position of evaluating the student on any academic level, because an intimate relationship can influence a student and professor's academic relationship.
That is why Bob Antonio, professor of sociology, stresses for individuals involved to use their best judgment in situations involving intimate relationships and friendships. Antonio thinks students and professors should set the boundaries for their friendship. He encourages professors and students to be friends because he says that you naturally make a connection to someone whom you are working with. It builds trust among students and professors and gives students a place to go when they need to talk about something. He thinks that knowing students on a more personal level helps when he's advising them on future career plans. Students have talked to him about a variety of things ranging from a breakup to dealing with AIDS.
"You can really help a person by just listening, but certain amount of caution needs to be exercised for safety of the relationship at all times," Antonio says.
Antonio has students who come by his office to tell him good news or just to say "hi" all the time. He says he loves it when students come back to visit years later as well. Recently, a student who finished her medical degree at Yale stopped by with her mom and husband just to catch up.
So, as long as a distinct line is drawn between an intimate relationship and friendship, teachers and students can be friends during and perhaps even after college.
snazir@kansan.com
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