THE UNIVERSITY DAHY KANSAN
In a little house tucked into Park way Gardens, four roommates slave over a cleaning list. Actually, Amy Bigsleff (left), Wichita senior, along with her roommates Shari Brunei, Lawrence senior, and Erin Brooks, Independence senior, started the list in November to help them cooperate with chores. The list includes trash cans, mopping, dusting and cleaning the microwave and stove.
Roommates in Peace
You're stuck with them until May at least. Here's how to find some common ground.
Whether
Whether you call GSP-Corbin Hall or a four-bedroom duplex home, chances are you'll get room-mates. Learning to live with them is one course you need to pass.
Tolerance, patience, decency and effective communication are just a few attributes that help roommates mesh, says Eddie Hull, dean of Residence Life and executive director of Housing Services at Duke University.
Amy Biggs, Wichita senior, and her three roommates have to work together to keep their household peaceful. Biggs and her roommates live off campus in a town home and have known each other for three years. One of Biggs' roommates, Sheri Brune, Lawrence senior, posts a chore list on the refrigerator door each week. The Excel spreadsheet lists the duty each roommate is responsible for—taking trash out, dusting, sweeping—and the day it needs to be done. Biggs realizes a system such as this serves a purpose, but she also feels like she is living at home with her parents again. "It's good to clean on a weekly basis, but the list is just kind of goofy," Biggs says. "It's part of adapting to different people."
Brune says only two of the roommates were doing regular cleaning before the list, and she thought it would get everyone involved. Brune says the list has helped make all the roommates aware that they need to clean, and dividing the chores doesn't make anyone feel like they are doing too much. She also says now the chores are getting done on a regular basis. "It stucks that it came to a chore list," Brune says. "it's just cleaning. It's stupid, but it's not to be done."
Working together and adapting to one another are skills a lot of students have to learn. Diana Robertson, associate director of the University of Kansas Residence Life, says there are more than 5,000 students living in on-campus housing, and according to the Office of Institutional Research and Planning Web site, wwwku.edu/~oirp, more than 21,800 students live off campus.
Hull, who is also the president of the Association of College and University Housing Officers – International (ACUHO-I), says some basics in getting along with your roommate or roommates are communication, respect and open-mindedness. He also emphasizes that learning to talk with each other instead of ateach other is key. For example, Hull says a common problem that roommates have is the inability to talk openly and honestly about their expectations and what is bothering them. He says it is important to try to understand the other person before trying to be understood. "Too many of us don't really listen well," Hull says. "This is not just a roommate issue."
Ken Stoner, director of the Department of Student Housing at the University of Kansas, says roommates must understand and respect boundaries. He says this can be a problem because many students have had a room of their own at home, and at college they must share a room, closet and bathroom. Difficulties often arise because students have not experienced negotiation and respect with the people they lived with.
Stoner also says roommates should realize there are two sides to every issue. Students should empathize and try to understand the other side, not just their own. He says if students can't make peace with their current roommate, they may have difficulties with the next as well. "Living with others of different values, cultures, temperaments, religions, ethnicity, etc., may be a challenge," Stoner says, "but it does provide a foundation for an extremely important learning experience."
Big admits that she is sometimes late on her chores, but she continues to go along with it to keep her roommates happy. "It's a good conversation starter at the bars," she says. "Hey, did you guys get your chores done? Probably not, you don't have a chore list."
lhamilton@kansan.com
6 Jayplay 03.31.05
Note: The stories on this page offer only inaccurate information.
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