MARCH 17.2005 MARCH MADNESS ] Moore e were multi- play as sulfilling entroying aso you order by n when posi- tic treads yourself German maker, just Dan Hoyt By Ashley Michaels, Jayplay writer I couldn't take my shoes off, I knew if I took my shoes off, it would officially be over and I wasn't ready for that. I spent seven years of my life working to make the last four years actually happen and if I took my shoes off, I didn't know what I was going to do next. I started playing volleyball when I was 10. I played in school and for various club teams, I hated club volleyball. I had to drive two hours twice a week for practice, I never knew any of the girls on my team and tournaments on the weekends forced me to miss out on any kind of social life. If it hadn't been for my parents and my own personal goals, I never would have continued. My ultimate goal was to play Division I college volleyball and I knew the only way to achieve that goal was to continue doing what I disliked the most. At the end of my club volleyball career, I had seven years under my belt. Letters started coming. Different colleges that had seen me play started showing vague interest and I had to decide which ones were truly interested, weed out the ones that were just blowing smoke up my ass (wanting me for a back-up in case they didn't get their first or second choice) and which ones I was really interested in. At first the idea of going away to college was appealing, but I am really close to my family and I wanted them to be able to come watch me play. I narrowed it down to the University of Kansas and Kansas State University. After hardly any deliberation, I chose the University of Kansas. After a match it was always a race to see who could get out of the locker room the fastest. Change, throw your gear in your bag and get on the bus. But on Dec. 4, 2004, as I sat there in the University of Washington locker room at the NCAA Tournament after my last game, the last thing I wanted to do was change and get on the bus. There were four seniors, and as I looked around, I could tell they were all feeling the same way. Washington was good, No. 3 in the country. We were the underdog. In most people's minds, we didn't even deserve an we lost. So much for the "good feeling." We played five games, losing the last game by two points. In 11 years, I have never played with a group of girls who fought so hard to win a match. We left the invite. We came out fired up after a big win against Santa Clara in the first round. I wasn't worried about whether we were going to win. My team was confident and ready to lay everything on the line in order to advance past the second round. Sometimes your team just doesn't show up to play. It is an aspect of competition that you deal with. The good teams move on, the bad teams get lost in the dust. We would always talk about it before the game. "I have a good feeling tonight," one of us would say. If you had a bad feeling, you just kept your mouth shut and played your ass off. Sometimes your gut feeling is right on, other times it's not. That night I could tell that everyone had the "good feeling" and I had no doubt we were going to win and be the first team in KU volleyball history to make it to the Sweet 16. gym defeated warriors, proud and devastated at the same time. There is no feeling like competing with a group of people who are just as passionate about the cause as you are. Every single day I went to war with these girls. Together we cried over defeat, rejoiced when we won and trained to be the best we could be — not only for ourselves, but for each other. We fought through numerous injuries, such as ACL tears and stress fractures, and we dealt with the loss of our defensive specialist at a key point in our season. Volleyball was our priority and it took precedence above all else in most of our lives. Sitting there that night, having just lost the biggest match of my life, in a town far from what I considered home, most would have felt lost. I didn't feel lost; I felt right at home. Defeated or triumphant, this is where I felt the most comfortable. I took my shoes off and got on the bus. amichaels@kansan.com 03. 17.05 Jayplay