OPINION
TUESDAY, MARCH 8, 2005
PAGE 5A
WWW.KANSAN.COM
▼ SACK'S PERSPECTIVE
Steve Sack/STAR TRIBUNE
▼ GUEST COMMENTARY
Spongebob's sexuality least of FCC's problems lately
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
According to the Christian activist group, Focus on the Family. no one suitable for family values-centered television.
In the hottest scandal since the Tinky Winky — the gay Teletubby — allegations.
BETSY MCLEOD opinion@kansan.com
Spongebob SquarePants is under scrutiny by Christian activists, including James Dobson of the Focus on the Family organization. Spongebob's supposed homosexuality in the We Are Family Foundation's new music video, a remake of the '70s hit song by Sister Sledge. "We Are Family."
"The video, which demonstrates to children the importance of togetherness embodied in the word 'family,' will be distributed to 61,000 public and private elementary schools in the United States on March 11, in celebration of the proposed National We Are Family Day." We Are Family Foundation's Web site said.
But family values activist Ed Vitagliano, news editor of the American Family Association Journal, a monthly publication of the American Family Association, insists that "a short step beneath the surface reveals that one of the differences being celebrated is homosexuality."
Other organizations in uproar about the moral slippage include the American Decency Association and the Parents Television Council.
SpongeBob refused to comment on any of these allegations.
But does it really matter if SpongeBob is giving it to Sandy or taking it from Patrick? And because sponges don't have sexual organs — or sexuality for that matter — one must wonder, seeing how "absorbent and porous and yellow is he," as his theme song says, could he be the victim of sexual abuse from the dominating Mr. Krabs or the condescending Squidward?
Next in the cartoon world's scandalous news, Peter Griffin, father on the show "Family Guy," suffered attacks when he dared to show a bare bottom in the show's family-valued plot.
The faux pas caused uproar at the Federal Communications Commission and the nude derriere was blurred when the episode aired. The Federal Communications Commission is everywhere, taking over the entertainment industry.
CBS lost a shot of a naked
man's backside as he ran down the street in "Without a Trace." NBC obscured shots of an 80-year-old woman's breast during "ER." ACI aired the Academy Awards on a time lapse for the first time last year.
CBS slapped a five-minute video delay on last year's Grammys. Fox is appealing a $1.2 million indecenty fine proposed by the FCC last year for a 2003 episode of "Married by America" that featured whipped-cream covered strippers and digitally obscured nudity.
The Focus on the Family group is pushing congress to take some control over this media madness, but the government's authority to police indecency is restricted to broadcast radio and television only—not cable or satellite—from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.
Has the FCC become the new Mother for America? Are parents really that scared that their children will start to emulate the immoral SpongeBob SquarePants, the King of the Krabby Patties, rather than the wholesome Britney Spears, the Queen of Pop and 12-hour marriages?
Have the baby boomers, the ones that marched on Washington for equal rights and liberty in the early 1970s, really become so anally retentive about shielding the real world and the humor within it from their kids?
A PRINCE IN THE PULPIT
- McLeod is an Overland Park freshman in pre-journalism and French.
There must be dangers of corruption everywhere, in even pineapples under the sea. Tune in next week for the next outrageous scandal: Barney's hit "I Love You" song actually promotes promiscuity and unprotected sex.
Privatization of education poor step toward reform
The American Education System is at its breaking point, but it hasn't snapped yet. The pressure on American schools is enormous, the public school teachers are bending but have not broken.
Pressures from higher rates of immigration, higher and
PETE PRINCE
pprince@kansan.com
more diverse demands and an absurd new federal policy the No Child Left Behind initiative have brought an almost unbearable weight down on the public schools.
To make matters worse, everyone has leaped onto the proverbial bandwagon and ruthlessly criticized the supposed failing public school system.
Extreme right-wingers have even begun to whisper thoughts about privatizing education altogether, President George W. Bush's No Child Left Behind platform is seemingly the first step for this nightmare to come true.
To wealthy suburbanites, the privatization of education may not seem like a bad idea — competition breeds better product, right? The problem will rise not in suburbia, but as seems to always be the case, in the urban areas. Who in their capitalistic right mind would open a school in a poor, violent area?
It takes more resources, people and money to make school work in that environment. And the parents and guardians will be incapable of paying as much money to these schools.
More cost, more risk and less profit — does that make sense to you Mr. American businessman?
A continued push toward privatizing education will only further the gap between rich and poor; the educated and uneducated; the satisfied and beleaguered.
Although, with the Kansas Republican platform calling for a flat tax, the abolition of taxes on capital gains — money you make when you sell stock — and the abolition of the estate tax, it seems that a wide gap between rich and poor may be what the Republicans are shooting for. Too bad the poor farmers of Kansas can't figure that out.
Now that we have that crazy thought of private education out of our minds, let's focus on the public schools.
I always hear about the failing American schools, the high school graduates who can't add or read, the test scores that are ranking far below Japan and Korea.
A Sandia National Laboratories report finds that the high school completion rate is more than 90 percent and growing and one in four adult Americans has a bachelor degree — both the highest rates in our nation's history.
Fingers point to lower SAT verbal scores now than in 1975, the difference can be chiefly attributed to the higher percentage of lower-ranking students taking the test.
If the same population took the SAT now, as did in 1975 the scores would be significantly higher, reports Sandia Laboratories. The fact that math scores have continued to rise despite the influx of lower-ranking students is a sign that the math skills of today's children are a great deal higher than in the past.
American test scores are lower than those in Japan, Korea, Taiwan and elsewhere, but making cross-cultural comparisons can be misleading. Many countries, especially in Asia and Europe, begin specialized education at much younger ages 14 or even 11.
That means many students have already left school when these comparisons are taking place. Special education programs in other countries are not part of the school system. This also helps these countries' test scores compare favorably. American public schools are doing just fine, for now.
The imposed federal policy has handcuffed the teachers in America, but they are managing to keep our children's heads above water. If we can find a way for No Child Left Behind to be scrapped or get the Republicans out of office, the children of the future might have an opportunity to survive.
I'll be a public school teacher in six months, so you white-collar conservative, stop pointing your plastic finger at me. It's your government that's going to make our kids stupid, not me.
- Prince is a Lake Elmo, Minn., graduate student in secondary education.
SOUZA SAYS
Moderate coffee intake advised despite recent cancer research
Now this caffeine-crazed nation can enjoy its coffee in peace. Finally, the Starbucks addicts can relish their frapacinos. Office coffee pots are once again in use. All this because of a recent study that proved a health benefit of coffee.
According to an article by the Associated Press that
GABRIELLA SOUZA
gsouza@kansan.com
appeared on cnn.com, a study of 90,000 Japanese showed that those who drank coffee nearly every day had half the risk of liver cancer than those who did not drink coffee.
Considering that the American Cancer Society estimates that 18,920 new cases of liver cancer were diagnosed in the United States last year and it caused the deaths of 14,270 people, these results could mean a potential lifestyle change for those worried about the disease.
In other words, people should soon be buying coffee pots. This discovery has great possibilities, and scientists are busy with follow-up studies. However, people should not go crazy with these findings.
Sure, this means that coffee has been proven to be somewhat healthy. But that does not mean that a person's normal intake should increase at all
tility.
and that five mochas a day has been approved. In fact, too much coffee can lead to some serious health risks.
For example, CNN medical correspondent Linda Ciampa reported in a large intake of coffee, more than three cups a day, can have a negative effect on female fer-
It may also play a role in early labor during pregnancy. Also, the caffiene in coffee is a nonaddictive stimulant that it habit forming.
And, according to the American Dietetic Association, excessive caffeine intake can cause the jitters, anxiety and insomnia. There is not one person that would want to encounter sleepless nights just for a caramel latte.
If a person likes coffee, drinks it on a regular basis, nothing is stopping her. But if that person is on his third cup and it is not yet 10 a.m., she should know that she has the potential for some side effects as well.
Just remember to keep it in moderation.
- Souza is a St. Louis junior in journalism.
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I don't mean to spoil anything, but Harold and Kumar,
they do make it to White Castle.
Hey MedHatter, it doesn't take an hour to cook four hamburgers!
That guy in Jayplay only had 100 gigs of porn? Man, I have over 200, and I challenge anybody to beat that.
To the growing number of gorgeous girls with long-distance boyfriends: Did you ever think that your boyfriend is just a loser who's incapable of meeting women at his own school? Probably time to break out of the comfort zone and drop the high school relationship.
Losing my cell phone: $150. Getting an old phone from a friend of a friend: $20. Erasing old numbers
from his phone and finding Wayne Simien's cell phone: priceless.
To the person who said he'd rather be driving drunk than waiting outside the Wheel for 30 minutes in freezing weather, tell that to the victims' families next week when you kill them driving drunk.
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