Even the small things can add to a romantic relationship By Ashley Doyle, Jayplaywriter
When Ben Katz's girlfriend, Kayla Dudley, woke up one morning she had the ultimate craving: Kristpy Kreme doughnuts. And Katz delivered. He drove Dudley to Kansas City that morning to the closest franchise. After breakfast the Topeka sophomores spent the rest of the day in Kansas City driving around and then walking in the Plaza.
Katz says his relationship of one year and nine months is romantic because they're able to be spontaneous with each other. Katz says he does these little things for her, like the doughnut drive, because it shows her that she's worth him going out of his way. It shows her he cares. It wasn't the doughnut that was romantic; it was that Katz wanted to do something sweet for her instead of saying "that's nice" and then going back to sleep without a second
thought.
Whether it's a picnic in the park, a doughnut run or dinner at the Hereford House that sweeps you off your feet, the concept of romance has one common theme, says Bob Weiss, University of Oregon psychology professor emeritus. It makes the one being romanced feel fabulous. "In a sense, romance is like a drug that alters your state of being." Weiss says. "It allows you to deceive yourself into believing all sorts of wonderful things — and it is legal."
Katz and Dudley also buy each other little presents. He says he'll buy her flowers and lay them on her bed or put them on her desk when she's not there. As for Dudley, Katz says he enjoys her surprise visits to his place.
Another technique Katz has on bringing romance into a relationship is to set tradi-
tions. Two or three times a month Katz and Dudley have a date night. They eat at a cheap Chinese restaurant then rent a movie. Katz says it's their version of dinner and a movie.
Salina sophomore Adria Jerkovich and her boyfriend Craig Orton live 40 minutes away from each other, but they still manage to see each other several times a week. Jerkovich and Orton have been together for three years and three months, and in that time Jerkovich has learned that having fun with her boyfriend is what's romantic.
Jerkovich says if she leaves her place before her boyfriend, he will leave an I'm-going-to-miss-you note in her apartment before he drives back to Overland Park. Romance is important to Jerkovich because romance shows you still want
your partner. If you don't let your partner know you're still interested in them, things can get boring. Romance shows both people are still satisfied with each other, Jerkovich says.
Showing you care doesn't need to be a huge thing, Jerkovich says she enjoys walking around Massachusetts St. with her boy while holding hands. For Jerkovich, it doesn't matter what it is she and her boyfriend do as long as they're having fun together. As for romance, just know that it can't be a big production every time and that romance can come in small doses. "Know not to expect things to be out of this world all the time," Jerkovich says.
The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time
Love stands the test of time. But right now, romance might feel more like work and less like love. To win over the heart of your mate, send him or her The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time by David Lowenherz. With letters from Ben Franklin, Mozart, Harry Truman and Napoleon, it's bound to be a great exploration of love through the ages and bound to bring a little more lovin' your way.
Erin Shipps
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Courtesy of www.shopping-today.net
Jayplay 02.24.05