OPINION
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2005
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STAYSKAL'S PERSPECTIVE
Wayne StayskaI/KNIGHT RIDDER/TRIBUNE
▼ FILÓSOFO GALLEGO
The story of a sheltered girl who discovers evolution
Tucked snugly under her comforter, Birgit stared at her Dolph Lundgren poster that hung above her dresser and wondered how anything but God could have created such beauty.
DEVIN SIKES
dsikes@kansan.com
Bingit was a sensible girl: She never washed whites and darks together, brushed her
teeth at least three times a day and always put a little, but never too much, 1-percent milk in her coffee.
Having received the majority of her education in Germany, Birgit moved to America to pursue her graduate degree in biology during the late 1990s. Birgit lived in a modest apartment on the outskirts of Cambridge, Mass., home to Kendall Square Cinema, the Longfellow House, and her job, a professorship at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Teaching Biology 101, Birgit nurtured the minds of incoming freshmen on topics such as cell anatomy, mitosis and meiosis, all of which complement the study of evolution.
Within the scientific method, Birgit endorsed the postulations of her idol, Charles Darwin, who argued that we shared common ancestry with apes.
However, sitting in the dark, basking in the glow of Mr. Lundgren's amazing physique, Birgit couldn't but feel there was an intelligent designer, an Aristotelian Prime Mover, responsible for such a beautiful and diverse population of species.
Meanwhile, young Sally Jane Tompkins slammed the door of her '87 Mustang against the cold winter wind. Unlike the mild winter mornings in her hometown of Marietta, Georgia, it was unseasonably brisk.
Sally Jane sat depressed and confused, covered in fuchsia earmuffs and her father's old camouflage hunting jacket.
The previous school day, Sally Jane's biology teacher, Ms. Birgit Fassbinder, gave a lecture on Darwin's theory of evolution. Perplexed, Sally Jane began to feel uneasy about the lessons that Sister Mary Margaret taught so persuasively in those black boots at each Sunday school sermon.
All of the sudden, her father's explanation of, "it wuz lahk God dang der turnd at dat der microwave, and we wuz one of dem dang ol TV dinners, and
Perhaps, Sally Jane thought, the heathens her Dad referred to as "Sand-Jawas" and "Dem egg roll eatin' fellers," weren't an better than her after all. For Sally Jane, nothing but the graceful figures of smoke from
poof! Der was life!" didn't seem plausible any longer.
the Marlboro Red 100s she smoked seemed to make any sense.
That night, full of confusion, Sally Jane called her father.
"But father," she said, "evolution is a synthesis of genetics and paleontology, and unifies so many other scientific disciplines."
Exasperated, Sally Jane continued, "An understanding of the history of our species can only be achieved through evolutionary research.
"Father, the creationist theory found within the Bible, or any religious text for that matter, has no scientific principles and I don't believe it should be juxtaposed with theories that contain scientific merit.
"Father, we have a right to believe in the teachings of our text, but it must be done with those who come to learn it at our church. Forcing an issue that lacks scientific value on individuals does not improve the quality of education on any level." The long pause of silence was followed by a dial tone, and Sally Jane knew she was on her own.
Later that week, Birgit was walking to her car after a long day of lectures, research and conferences. The sun was setting over the horizon and a red glow engulfed the grass and trees.
▼ GUEST COMMENTARY
As Birgit came into view, Sally Jane called out her professor's name and began to pour out all her emotions. Birgit listened attentively and told Sally Jane to follow her. Once at her apartment, Birgit sat Sally Jane beneath Dolph Lundgren's poster. In silence, staring at the poster, Sally Jane realized that perhaps her God did fit into the equation after all.
With only the sounds of her shoes tapping the concrete, Birgit heard sobs whispering in the breeze. Around the corner sat Sally Jane, still confused on how to resolve the paradox she felt inside.
- Sikes is a Wichita senior in Spanish and philosophy.
Liberals fear Coulter's appearance on campus
I love the University of Kansas but I am as shocked to read a column attacking Ann Coulter as Hillary Clinton was to learn of her husband's repeated infidities.
Get the picture? I am a graduate of the Peoples' Republic of Kansas — The University of Kansas — and over the years have become increasingly numb to the incessant whining from liberals who have found a home on the University's campus.
But it has proven to be insufficient. Lo and behold I am amazed at the effectiveness of the blinders liberals wear.
In the wake of Hamilton College cancelling Ward Churchill's insipid speech due to a massive movement by Americans, another liberal has found the time to beleaguer another intellectual conservative.
Guest columnist Ray Pence has defended him in on the real threat to America: Ann Coulter's words.
"In the current atmosphere of... terrorism, Coulter's comment is truly dangerous," Pence wrote.
When Pence is finished confusing sarcasm with earnestness and accusing Coulter of trying to silence her opponents, I encourage him to appreciate the irony of him trying to hoodwink Vickers into silencing Ann.
Dangerous to whom Ray? Us? Should we be on orange alert because Ann Coulter is coming to Lawrence? Did Ann's words decapitate Nick Berg and Daniel Pearl? "Evacuate the building! Ann Coulter's comment has hijacked a plane."
"Unfortunately and inexplicably, those who choose lecturers
ANDREW FRAY
opinion@kansan.com
"for the Vickers series have demeaned its 36-year tradition," Pence said.
What is unfortunate is that many in academia think the column Pence wrote is enlightened.
It is also unfortunate that Pence will probably never apologize to the respected people at Vickers for questioning their scruples and insulting them on their fine choice for this year's speaker.
But what about it is inexplicable? Is it inexplicable because even learned people fail to grasp the inferences of Coulter's speech and jump at the chance to somehow prove that people eager to defend America from blood-thirsty barbarians are racist?
I'll bet it's inexplicable because Pence simply never asked those who choose lecturers for the Vickers series. I know liberals often cringe when people quote scripture but 'seek and we shall find.'
John Walker Lindh, the American who defected and aided the Taliban, should be executed. As expected, the only people who have come to his defense, besides the aforementioned barbarians of course, are liberals. So one might see how jumping liberais and terrorists together is not so far-fetched.
It's just that liberals are acutely unaware of how their actions
and words indirectly encourage those who hate America.
I know it's not intentional Michael Moore didn't intend to sour voters by slandering our President, but he did.
To execute Lindh is not to rattle our sabers at liberals and say "You're next unless you act like us." It is a reminder to liberals of their own mortality and that taking for granted their perceived safety from terror is unwise.
Appeasing terrorist groups by trying to understand their rhetoric is not the key to a safer America.Coulter does not want to silence her opponents. If liberals stopped making fools of themselves she would have less about which to write.
As for calling on Ann to stop speaking on behalf of conservatives, it won't happen because people like what she has to say. Hence the TV appearances and all those bestsellers. Like many of the newly unemployed Democrats, Ted Hall will die his own political death and, if such a death can be caused by heart attack, so will Michael Moore.
Interestingly, toward the end of Pence's column he switched from making sweeping generalizations to accusing Coulter of making sweeping generalizations.
With the amount of research he has done he could authenticate documents for Dan Rather at CBS. I hear he needs a producer.
God bless America. Or as secular liberals like to say: [silence].
See you all at the Lied Center.
Fray is a 2001 graduate of the University.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Both campus political organizations team up to bring alcohol sales to Union
Before 1997 students were able to purchase alcohol in the Jaybowl at the Kansas Union. In 1997 students lost that ability, with little reasonable explanation as to why. Shortly thereafter Delta Force established the Alcohol Task Force and began communicating with the Memorial Union Corporation and University administrators to once again enable the Jaybowl to serve alcoholic beverages.
Among the benefits of alcohol sales are an expanded revenue source for the Memorial Union, which translates into better services for students.
More importantly though is the increase in student safety it provides. The Kansas Union's central location will encourage students seeking a cold beer to walk there instead of driving downtown, which almost inevitably leads to drunk driving.
Moreover, the Union is serviced by KU on Wheels and functions as the dispatch center for SafeRide vehicles. So, if at any point a patron becomes to intoxicated to drive they have the added alternatives of SafeRide and KU on Wheels.
Recently, members of KUnited have introduced a petition in Student Senate to begin exploring the possibility of alcohol sales returning to the Jaybowl. While past KUnited administrations have stonewalled our efforts, we are glad to see that the current KUnited administration has come around on this particular issue. Delta Force looks forward to jointly pursuing this issue with KUnited in the months to come.
Tyler Longpine Hays senior Jr/Sr CLAS Senator
Tyler Longpine
REPORT CARD
Pass:
The boys of spring. The KU baseball team swept its first home series in convincing fashion. Even though it was against South Dakota State not a powerhouse on the diamond — the baseball team returned to campus in fashion.
Fail:
- Jeff Gannon. This imposter somehow gained access to White House press credentials for the past few years and gained notoriety for lobbing softball questions to the President about how to deal with whiny Democrats. Then he got outed for operating porn sites on the side. Jeff, get a life.
Kofi Annan. The head of the United Nations keeps firing everyone around him for the plethora of mistakes the outdated organization has made All the while, he continues to ignore the biggest problem which is himself.
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My roommate just put Silly Putty on his desk lamp, and now our room smells like bumt sweet potato pie.
I think the Grand Canyon branched out into Lawrence's streets.
If Mr. Two-and-a-Half Hours would stop skipping class to masturbate, he probably wouldn't last as long.
I'm drinking a Zima with a watermelon Jolly Rancher. I just came out of the closet — don't tell my girlfriend.
Two-and-a-Half Hours or Two-and-a-Half Inches?
Abercrombie & Fitch is screwed.
Wal-Mart officially has stonewashed jeans.
If only the National Treasury knew they were funding my habits.
I'm glad the Kansan isn't afraid to ask the tough questions, like which Simpsons character is gay?
Jeremy Case, you sexify the Jayhawks.
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