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Wednesday, November 1. 1961 University Daily Kansan
Kansas City Steers Open Tonight
By United Press International
The fledgling American Basketball League presents its third game of the season tonight when Kansas City comes calling on San Francisco.
The Saints nosed out Los Angeles, 99-96, in the opener while the Steers will be making their debut.
THE STEERS are led by NBA veterans Win Wilfong and Larry Staverman, both of whom caved for Cincinnati of the National Basketball Association last season. A variety of stars from service and AAU ball round out the lineup.
San Francisco's Ken Sears, who suffered a charley horse in the opener, will be ready for action although Iowa ace Dave Gunther will start in his stead.
Although the ABL has played only two official games, the new rule changes it offers appears to have caught on with the fans.
Jayhawker Notes
"THIS PROBABLY was our best offensive game," remarked Coach Jack Mitchell following Kansas' 42-8 victory over Oklahoma State. "When we can pass well (John Hadl hit 10 of 15 for 102 yards and two touchdowns) our offense is all right. We need the forward pass because we can't break the long one from scrimmage."
IN NEBRASKA at Lincoln Saturday Kansas will be meeting the Big Eight's biggest team. "They are huge in the line and play that defense tough," says scout Tom Triplett, who charted the Cornhuskers' 10-0 loss to Missouri, "Thornton (halfback Bill) is one of the best backs in our conference. Not only is he fast, but powerful and reckless too. In the line I particularly like their ends, Purcell (Don), Huge (Jim), and McDaniel (Dick)."
LEE FLACHBARTH, Kansas' starting defensive left half, may miss
the 68th Kansas-Nebraska game with a bruised knee. The Jayhawkers hope to have starting tackles Dick Davis and Stan Kirshman ready, along with veteran end Mike Deer. Davis missed the 42-8 victory over Oklahoma State with an elbow injury. Deer_with a pulled muscle. Kirshman played one down after fighting a severe throat and fever all week.
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KANSAS WILL BE riding an unprecedented four game winning streak over Nebraska when it invades Lincoln Saturday. The last two at Lincoln have been tight fits, the Jayhawkers winning 14-12, in '75, on a Wally Straight pass to end Jim Leatevits, and 10-3 in '79, on a similar toss from John Hadl to Dale Remsberg. Both ends made shoestring catches in the south end zone.
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HUSBANDS, ANYONE?
It has been alleged that coeds go to college for the sole purpose of finding husbands. This is, of course, an infamous canard, and I give fair warning that, small and spongy as I am, anybody who says such a dastardly thing when I am around had better be prepared for a sound thrashing!
Girls go to college for precisely the same reasons as men do; to broaden their horizons, to lengthen their vistas, to drink at the fount of wisdom. But, if, by pure chance, while a girl is engaged in these meritorious pursuits, a likely looking husband should pop into view, why, what's wrong with that? Eh? What's wrong with that?
The question now arises, what should a girl look for in a husband. A great deal has been written on this subject. Some say character is most important, some say background, some say appearance, some say education. All are wrong.
The most important thing—bar none—in a husband is health. Though he be handsome as Apollo and rich as Midas, what good is he if he just lays around all day accumulating bedsores?
The very first thing to do upon meeting a man is to make sure he is sound of wind and limb. Before he has a chance to sweet-talk you, slap a thermometer in his mouth, roll back his cyclids, yank out his tongue, rap his patella, palpate his thorax, ask him to straighten out a horseshoe with his teeth. If he fails these simple tests, phone for an ambulance and go on to the next prospect.
If, however, he turns out to be physically fit, proceed to the second most important requirement in a husband. I refer to a sense of humor.
After each of these good-natured pranks, laugh gaily and shout "April Food! If he replies, "But this is February nineteenth," or something equally churlish, cross him off your list and give thanks you found out in time.
A man who can't take a joke is a man to be avoided. There are several simple tests to find out whether your prospect can take a joke or not. You can, for example, slash his tires. Or burn his "Mad" comics. Or steal his switchblade. Or turn loose his pet raccoon. Or shave his head.
But if he laughs silvery and calls you "Little Minx!" put him to the next test. Find out whether he is kindly.
The quickest way to ascertain his kindness is, of course, to look at the cigarette he smokes. Is it mild? Is it element? Is it humane? Does it minister tenderly to the psyche? Does it cuddle the sympses? Is it a good companion? Is it genial? Is it bright and friendly and filtered and full of dulce pleasure from cockerow till the heart of darkness?
Is it, in short, Marlboro?
If Mariboro it be, then clasp the man to your bosom with hoops of steel, for you may be sure that he is kindly as a summer breeze, kindly as a mother's kiss, kindly to his very marrow. And now, having found a man who is kindly and healthy and blessed with a sense of humor, the only thing that remains is to make sure he will always earn a handsome living. That, fortunately, is easy. Just enroll him in engineering.
$ \textcircled{2} $ 1961 Max Shulman
Joining Marlboro in bringing you this column throughout the school year is another fine product from the same makers—the king-size, unfiltered Philip Morris Commander. Here is pure, clean smoking pleasure. Try a pack. You'll be welcome aboard!