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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015
PAGE 5B
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arts & features
HOROSCOPES
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Today is an 8
Play by the rules, slow and steady. Use what you're learning combined with your active imagination. Let others share expenses.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Today is a 7
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Today is a 7
Hit a brick wall at home.
Something you're trying
doesn't work. Don't ask for
more money now. Finish your
homework so you can go out.
Water figures in your plans.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Today is a 7
Consider the possibilities. Take slow, practical steps around obstacles. Attend to details and run a reality check before committing funds or time.
Cancer June 21-7 July 27 Today is a 7
Wait to see what develops.
Seek solid facts to resolve any confusion. Old ideas die hard.
Hold your temper, especially if others don't.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Today is a 9
There's money to be made today and tomorrow. Stick to pragmatic, practical priorities. Take responsibility for the project's success. Lead graciously. Be diplomatic to go around a roadblock.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today is a 9
more
studying
biology
TRENDING
AN
BOARD
Jason
Brian
Secilia
kel and
A new understanding arises with the Moon in your sign today and tomorrow. Stick to solid ground, rather than ephemeral directions. Double-check the address before you leave.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Today is a 6
A dream gets interrupted.
Pamper yourself and recharge today and tomorrow. Review where you've been and where you're going. Imagine the finished product.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Today is a 7
Parties, meetings and
gatherers go well today and
tomorrow. Practice being
gracious, even to people you
don't like.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Today is a 7
A business opportunity arises over the next two days. Keep to your budget, and go for it. Fantasy gets challenged by reality ... keep to practical objectives.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Today is an 8
Philosophical conversations and flights of fancy go nowhere (but at least entertain). Barriers for travel and studies arise.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Today is a 7
Don't let your dreams for the future incite you to splurge on something you can't afford yet. Save up for it instead. Hunt for a bargain. Keep your eye on the ball.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today is an
Negotiate a fair exchange.
Compromise comes easier today and tomorrow. What you get isn't necessarily what was expected something missing.
Hollywood bad boy Justin Bieber issues apology at end of Comedy Central roast
Katherine Hartley
@kat hart9
Roastmaster" Kevin Hart took to the stage on Comedy Central Monday night to lead the roast of Hollywood's bad boy Justin Bieber. Celebrities and comedians including Snoop Dogg,
Ludacris, Shaquille O'Neal and even Martha Stewart joined him in the two-hour Comedy Central special, which ended with an apology from Bieber.
"I'm a kind-hearted person, who loves people, and through it all I lost some of my best qualities. For that, I'm sorry. But what I can say is I'm looking forward to being someone that you guys can all look at and be proud of," he said, on a more serious note.
This apology,coupled with Bieber's ability to laugh at himself, seemed to elicit a fairly positive response on
"Easily one of the most enjoyable roasts I've ever seen. I even kinda like Justin now. Kinda. #BieberRoast" comedian Doug Benson tweeted.
social media.
On the other hand, David Sims from The Atlantic called the whole charade "PR disguised as unoriginal comedy" and explored what he said was an obvious play for good publicity due to the overly scripted jokes and final apology.
The roast itself was full of edgy,politically incorrect and borderline offensive jokes with topics ranging
from ISIS to September 11 to the Holocaust. All topics, of course, surrounded Bieber.
Stewart surprised viewers with her witty roast, where she gave Bieber tips for his "inevitable" turn in jail, based on her experience of course, as well as advice on finding the "right gal."
"She'll have to be someone on your level — powerful and famous and rich. Someone you can smoke a joint with or indulge in the occasional threeway. I'm talking about a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom. So Justin, call me," Stewart, 52 years his
elder, joked.
Will Ferrell even made an appearance as Ron Burgundy, telling the audience that Justin has "spunk, moxie, and probably a few other STDs."
Bieber remained seated and quiet throughout the show, occasionally clapping and mostly laughing at the jokes, until the end when he got the final word:
"What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."
- Edited by Garrett Long
CHRIS PIZZELLO/ASSOCIATED PRESS
Singer Justin Bieber speaks at his Comedy Central Roast in Culver City, Calif. Celebrities and comedians including Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Shaquille O'Neal and Martha Stewart were among those roasting the Hollywood heartthrob turned bad boy.
Rolling Stones announce North American tour
ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Rolling Stones announced a 15-city stadium tour Tuesday that will kick off May 24 at Petco Park in San Diego. Other stops include Columbus, Ohio; Minneapolis; Dallas; Atlanta; Orlando, Fla.; and Nashville, Tenn.
The so-called "Zip Code" tour will once again reunite singer Mick Jagger, drummer Charlie Watts and guitarists Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood.
The last time the Rolling Stones played North American stadiums was during their "A Bigger Bang Tour" in 2006. They opted for arena venues for their "50 & Counting" tour in 2012 and 2013.
Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones performing during their concert at Tokyo Dome in Tokyo in February 2014. The band has announced that it will kick off its new 15-city North American stadium tour. The rock band announced the tour Tuesday. It will kick off May 24 in San Diego. Other stops include Columbus, Ohio; Minneapolis; Dallas; Atlanta; Orlando, Fla.; and Nashville, Tenn.
SH1710 KAMBAYASH/ASSOCIATED PRESS
"We love being out on the road and it is great to come back to North America," said Keith Richards in a statement. "I can't wait to get back on the stage!"
And quite the stage it will be, including a section that juts far into the crowd, allowing the Stones to interact with fans. As is the band's practice, the stage design will employ cutting-edge technology to enhance the performance, including video screens and special effects.
Other cities on the "Zip Code" tour include Pittsburgh; Milwaukee; Kansas City, Mo.; Raleigh, N.C.; Indianapolis, Ind.; Detroit; Buffalo, N.Y.; and Quebec, Canada. Tickets will go on sale April 13.
The "Zip Code" tour will coincide with the rerelease of their seminal album "Sticky Fingers" on May 26. The 1971 recording features such Stones
The band interrupted last year's "14 On Fire" and rescheduled all their
classics as "Brown Sugar," "Wild Horses" and "Dead Flowers."
Australia and New Zealand dates after fashion designer L'Wren Scott, Jagger's companion since 2001, took her own life. The tour concluded Nov. 22, 2014 at
the Mount Smart Stadium in Auckland, New Zealand.
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