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MONDAY, JUNE 4. 2012
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Jeff Withey pajamas.
You literally smell like an ashtray. It's repulsive.
Editor's note: Next time you see someone throw a cigarette on the FFA, smack 'em.
After an entire year requesting "Speed of Sound" n the Boom Boom Room, I remain unsuccessful.
You know it's finals week when you can shuffle your note cards like a deck of UNO cards.
There's a singing lady bus driver on 43 now? Oooohhh...original
It's kind of sad that I, being blind in one eye, can back into a parking spot better than some people on this campus pull into a spot.
Finals week: where food cravings go down and anxiety goes up
Does anyone else feel a little more energized after they poop?
Human anatomy: where you learn where everything is except the g-spot
I miss you.
Editor's note: I didn't miss transferring 25 of you by hand from text messages into Adobe software and designing you on the opinion page every single day. But hey, I'm back!
Anti-abortion bill lacks sense
Here's a joke: Rep. Lance Kinzer says he is "standing up for conservative, traditional values.'
Are you laughing yet? Me neither.
Last month while campus was cramming for May finals, Kinzer was busy trying to legislate science under the guise of conservative, traditional values.
Kinzer authored a bill aimed at preventing abortions, which was strongly opposed by fellow pro-life Republicans Rep. Barbara Bollier. While much of HB 2598, and later SB 313, was distasteful and shortsighted, portions of it were irresponsible, irrational and downright dangerous.
The bill would force doctors to tell patients that abortions cause cancer. According to the National Cancer Institute, that bold claim is absolutely not true.
Senate President Steve Morris argued it could jeopardize the University of Kansas' pursuit of a comprehensive cancer center designation from the NCI, which would allow the continuation and expansion of critical research. Kinzer preaches
about the importance of job creation and strong economies, but at the same time he risks the stability afforded to the state by the University in the form of jobs, research, and spending.
The bill doesn't just risk an NCI designation (something supported by officials across the state and both of our Republican U.S. senators), it could also risk the accreditation of the University of Kansas Medical Center, because it may prevent residents in obstetrics programs from learning the subtleties of induced abortions and the necessary procedures to protect the health of the mother. Residents in these programs currently gain that knowledge outside
of Kansas but that process would be ended in 2013.
But most sickening is that Kinzer's bill protects doctors and medical personnel from lawsuits should they decide to withhold health and medical information from a patient because it may lead that patient to consider an abortion.
It appears that Kinzer doesn't believe women have the right to know what is going on in their bodies. Instead, he believes that a doctor has the right to examine you, analyze you, and then withhold that information from you because he doesn't trust you to "do the right thing."
Kinzer wants to get rid of abortion, but he hasn't just targeted women seeking abortions. He has put at risk any woman who pursues pregnancy.
Even married and financially stable prospective mothers who follow traditional, conservative values would feel the effects. This bill would allow a doctor to withhold information about an unborn child's fatal disease because the information could lead to an abortion. No mother should have to give birth and watch her child die
days later, or be denied the chance to emotionally and financially prepare to raise a child with a known, severe disability.
I resent Kinzer and his supporters in Topeka parading as traditional conservatives. I was raised in a traditional, conservative household by proud Republicans, who believe in the sanctity of life and in respect for people. They believe in honesty and in transparency. The traditional conservatives I know don't support doctors lying. They don't support doctors playing games with the health of women.
They believe that the United States is long past the days of male doctors "protecting" female patients from big words and scary diagnoses. And while they are staunchly, fiercely, vehemently pro-life, they don't support taking away the rights of one group in order to elevate the status of another.
Danielle Onions is a junior in political science and women, gender, and sexuality studies from Shawnee.
MENTAL HEALTH
Sharing your crisis can help you cope
Have you ever gone through a situation you don't think anyone can possibly understand? Feeling alone isn't uncommon. I've been there. It's tough.
What's even more tough is when feeling alone goes so far as to become destructive. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 19 to 24 year olds and the age range where the majority of suicides are committed according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
You may think that you are one in a million, but that still means that there are 7,000 of you on Earth. You aren't alone!
There are so many people who maybe aren't you,but they have things in common with you.
We all go through some tough situations at some point in our lives
and, as the song "Lean On Me" goes,
"We all need somebody to lean on."
Someone, somewhere is always there for you,you just need to know where to look.
For some people, a best friend is sufficient. They'll listen to all of your problems and help you find a plausible solution or a good distraction.
a confidant.
For others, a parent, sibling or other family member plays the role of
Everybody has their own style to cope with certain situations, but sometimes it's not so simple.
We've seen the stories play out in movies, read them in books or maybe lived through them where someone tries to commit suicide, is sexually abused, bullied or has a disorder but their friends don't know what to do. In situations that could be dangerous or life threatening, who do you turn to? Kansas has a series of crisis hotlines that cover nearly every topic one could imagine. To name a few, there are suicidehotlines.com/kansas.html, overcomeyoured.tripod.com/id16.htm, and www.kcsvd.org/ksreSOURCES.html.
To find hotlines for other disorders or other states, Google: your state, the problem, "hotlines"
By reaching out and talking to someone who specializes in your type of problem yet keeps your identity confidential, you can truly open up and feel listened to. Most such centers are manned by volunteers.
Don't hesitate and don't feel like your problem isn't important enough or that you aren't important enough. You are important, and that's exactly why I'm writing this today.
Your life and well-being is worth so much more than what a small column by an unknown writer can express. Open up to those resources that can help you make it through those tough situations uncathed.
Hawkins is a sophomore in journalism from Scranton, Kan.
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