TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2012
PAGE 5
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opinion
I'm not sure if I'm intimidating or just ugly.
My math professor is lecturing on something that isn't in the book and isn't going to be on the final. Why didn't I skip?
To anyone who saw me Saturday night: I'm sorry.
Ugh. Why doesn't Lawrence have an actual Chick-Fil-A?
Apogee is killing me.
Sometimes I like to make my bed like a nest and pretend I'm a little birdie.
Thank you KU basketball players for providing me with easy to remember passwords every semester. Elijah, this one's for you.
I just saw a professor genuflect before entering Snow Hall.
The year is almost over and I STILL haven't seen Juenemann on campus yet. I might be crying.
Dear family: I am a pharmacy student, but that does not mean you can call me at 7 o'clock in the morning to ask what aspirin is made of.
Counting three compartments of toilet paper rolls in this stall. So if the worst should happen, you're definitely covered!
Sporting is the best team in the MLS right now but there are no articles in the sports section. Come now, UDK, let's broaden our horizons.
I got a new freckle on my arm today.
I feel like a proud parent of the little
guy.
What are you talking about!?
Extreme cleavage is the only reason I come to class.
Yes, I have metal claws. Yes, I'm sure they're legal. No, you can't call me wolverine.
Mom's weekend at The Hawk and heavy alcohol consumption, oddly enough, do not mix well.
We had a conversation about Newton's Cradling and ball smacking in class. Couldn't say it then, but that's what she said!
Yoga pants season or short shorts season? What truly is the best season?
I am starting to think the FFA entries against Dan are just other bus drivers jealous of his popularity.
By stomping up the stairs, are you justifying your ability to walk up them or just pissed off?
"HAVE scooter, WILL travel" - The blonde with the blue razor
Someone else's shadow just scared me.That was awkward.
Monogamy means more than marriage
RELATIONSHIPS
Traditionally, the term "monogamy" has been defined as being married to one person at a time. However, the definition has since broadened to include merely being in one committed relationship with one person at a time.
With many college students becoming more serious with their partners now than in high school and before, "monogamous" is a term that defines a lot of our relationships.
Also, I imagine many of us would consider ourselves to be serial monogamists, or those who tend to exclusively date one person after another with relatively little time between relationships.
In general, this particular dating style is not uncommon, but it's sometimes treated like it should be nonexistent. However, it is a dating style, it is legitimate, and it's here at the University.
Comrades, I'm one of you, and today it's my mission to make a case in defense of our dating lives. The stigma that serial monogamy is harmful needs to be challenged, and here, I'm bringing that to you.
Popular blog host "Datingish" features many posts about serial
monogamists and discusses how the dating style works and how to spot said monogamists.
To put it into context, Datingish is like Xanga (cue the nostalgia) for blogs specifically about relationships and all that they encompass. Bloggers from far and wide post their stories about different elements of dating and get feedback from other users on them.
One in particular that bothered me is a blog post from October 2008 called, "Serial Monogamists — How Can You Spot One?" User "uhm_roar" opened the entry by telling the story of a friend who dumped a girl after two years and was crushed when she became cozy with a new beau six weeks later.
The writer said he was a "victim" of serial monogamy and suggested that readers post comments about stories and tips on the signs that their next love interest is, God forbid, one of them.
I'm not sure where to begin on why I find fault in not only the blog post itself but also in many of the comments below it.
Many of the users' comments highlight past run-ins with serial monogamists and detailed stories beginning with "I used to
be a serial monogamist" and the like.
At what point did we start treating serial monogamy like it's a crime or something to be quarantined? When did waiting months or years between relationships translate into being mature or leading a healthy dating life?
One argument is that when people move on quickly, it may suggest that the relationship they delve into next was something that began budding in their relationship before. However, this isn't necessarily the case.
Many things in the dating world are not just black and white. However, exclusivity is.
We have a boy/girlfriend, or we don't. We are committed, or we're not. It really is that simple
And when we're not committed, there's nothing wrong with moving on in six weeks. As one of my ghosts of boyfriends past
put it two weeks ago, your exes are not obligated to stay out of another relationship as long as you are.
Because after all, Beyonce's right; if you like it, you really should put a ring on it. Not saying you should propose. But if you don't want to lose it, don't break up with it.
The only person who can be the victim of serial monogamy is the serial monogamist him/herself. Serial monogamy becomes harmful when the person depends on being in a relationship to be happy. Until that point, serial monogamy is legitimate, just like any other dating style.
Also, it is a mistake to compare being a serial monogamist to being a player. Playing someone always requires an element of deceit. There is nothing inherently deceptive about serial monogamy. Therefore, those who are not like us in being serial monogamists would be unwise to put us at that level.
I'm a big believer that no number of partners is too high and that no amount of time between relationships is too short. All that matters is that serial monogamists, like any other kind of dater, are leading a
healthy and manageable lifestyle.
Being in relationships becomes problematic when we are not smart about them and cannot function without someone to go home to at night. However, this isn't a product of serial monogamy. It's a product of an internal problem, which we do need to fix.
Whether we date seriously, casually, frequently or sporadically, we all need to understand and respect the legitimacy of dating styles, even if we don't share them. As long as we are honest with ourselves and those who come into contact with us, we should not get so hot and bothered by any particular dating style.
Serial monogamy is simply a reflection of the values and interests of the people who live within it. Sometimes I can be cynical, but many serial monogamists are die-hard romantics and believe in the power of intimate relationships. Sometimes they truly are just like the rest of you.
Keith is a graduate student in education from Wichita.
MUSIC
An on-campus walk and music soothes school stress
Spring is my favorite time of the year. With my birthday, March Madness, the Stanley Cup Playoffs, NBA Playoffs, MLB opening day, the weather allowing me to wear more comfortable clothes, the green grass, the rain, and everything else that's great about spring, I can't think of another season beating Spring for "Most Awesome Time Of The Year."
But then again, now that we're in college and have real responsibilities, there is something that ruins the spring for everyone: finals.
Yes, it is now time to act like we are really concerned about our grades and start cramming all the information we never really paid any attention to, just so we don't fail a test that makes up 25 percent of our final grade in the class. It totally makes sense that a large chunk of your grade should come down to how well you do on a single test that covers four months worth of notes and things that may or may not have been said in lecture.
I'm obviously exaggerating, but to some, finals can be a make or break test, and that can be extremely stressful. My
suggestion to deal with the stress finals create is to enjoy the great campus that the state puts a great deal of money into just so it looks nice when you walk around it.
While I'm walking on campus (possibly to the impending doom of finals), I like to find some music that can go hand in hand with the sublimity that our campus creates. I have recently been listening to a British punk band named Sharks. Although the band is a punk band, they have a resemblance to the 1970s and '80s band The Clash.
When choosing music to help distract you from the stress, I suggest some happy-go-lucky pop punk like New Found Glory. If that's not your scene, I also like to listen to and indie-folk band named Fleet Foxes.
You've probably noticed
over the past couple of weeks that workers have been hard at work just to make some flowers bloom in front of Watson Library. The school and the state want this place to look as nice as possible. It may be for the students, or it may be so the university will end up in some Most Beautiful Campus rankings system, but regardless, you should take advantage of the beauty you are given.
Being from Wichita, one of my favorite things to do is drive through the Flint Hills on my way home. In the spring, after tons of rain, the hills will slowly change from the dead yellow grass into a vibrant green. I turn on some Led Zeppelin, roll down the window, and believe I'm in the most beautiful place in the world.
So while you're stressing out from finals, try to enjoy the campus and listen to some good music. Take a deep breath of that Kansas air (try not to sneeze if you have seasonal allergies), and take the time to smell the roses (or maybe they are tulips?).
Lysen is a junior in journalism from Andover.
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IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Include your name(s) and location.
WANT TO SEE YOUR SMILE IN THE KANSAN?
From left: Abby Montgomery, Kristi Marks, and Addison Keegan-Harris in the Kansas Union.
FAMILY
Give mom credit this Mothers' Day
My mother (whose lovely name I withhold for her own reputation's sake) is a great woman, who deserves better offspring than me. Fortunately for her, she has two more Obermeier sons, well-adjusted and arguably my superiors (they don't read the UDK, so please don't tell them I wrote that). Every time I tell somebody that it was just me and my two brothers (unintentionally not reckoning my dad), the inevitable reply was, "Oh! Your poor mother!" In retrospect, that was the most appropriate sentiment one could express. Say what you will about my mother, she's quite a gambler in the children department.
Because my mother was a high-stakes gambler, I also give her the title "hero." You pretty much have to be to spend twenty-seven months of your life carrying someone else around, and then a couple more decades raising all of them while holding down a paying job or two. And in my childlike worldview, I simply took it for granted I had a mother who wanted to punish me with education.
Mother's Day is still a few weeks distant, but since I'm sure to forget on May 13th and can't recycle excuses to my mom as to why I even forgot to call, this column will show her that I do, occasionally, think of her. Also, print media is more economical than perfume and flowers, and my ma insists that I save for law school.
It saddens and perplexes me when people say they never want to have children. They give multiple reasons for electing childlessness; barring medical exigencies, all of them boil down to "it's too difficult." As a twenty-something-year-old who sometimes regresses back into childhood, I won't argue that children can be difficult. It's expensive, one child often costing billions of dollars for people with more money than sense. Children are disobedient. They don't like doing what they're told and complain over the most trivial things. As mature college students, none of us would ever dream of such infantile behavior, and God knows we've never witnessed it in adults.
There's something inexorably snarky in people like nobody political advisor Hilary Rosen saying that Mitt Romney's wife, Ann, (and, implicitly, all stay-at-home
Let's just chalk up the comments of Ms. Rosen and her ilk as the bitter vile of spiteful humanity. It really must be hard for Ms. Rosen to wake up every morning with no meaningful sense of purpose. I haven't changed a baby's diapers myself, but I believe it would be easier if the excrement I dealt with my own child's and not some Beltway figure's. I'm no sociologist. But I have a strong hunch that if more of us valued family and children above political consultants, it would be a merrier world.
mothers) "have never worked a day in their lives." It puzzles me as to how a political consultant could have the gall to say that anybody else hasn't worked a day in their life, let alone full-time mothers. The heaviest thing Ms. Rosen ever lifted was probably a docket of manipulated polling data; Mrs. Romney has had plenty of heavy lifting with her five boys (an unenviable prospect, even for a Mormon).
My mother isn't perfect; she's missed her share of Jeopardy questions (ironically in "Potpourri") and she got a manically dependent black lab to replace me. In her defense, I wasn't the easiest child to rear. My teenage angst made me curse my very existence, and my parents as the effective cause of that. Fortunately, that ended after I graduated high school and was free to do my own laundry, but many of my peers have yet to move beyond that phase.
Mothering in general is an unjustly scorned profession in our society which glorifies the party habits of Snookie above her decision to have a baby. It's a wonderful, awkward, mystical part of being human. Ma, I don't thank God enough that you read Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss to me instead of buying cable. Happy preemptive Mother's Day to you and all mothers!
Obermeier is a junior in history from Olathe.
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD Members of the Kansan Editorial Board are Ian Cummings Lisa Curran, Jon Samp, Angela Hawkins and Ryan Schlesinger.