MONDAY, APRIL 23, 2012
PAGE 5A
opinion
Text your FFA submissions to 785-289-8351
FREE FOR ALL
When people say "WIF," I automatically think the "F" stands for fudge. I like fudge.
My teacher looks so hot right now. I'm distracted. I can't imagine how the boys feel.
If you are what you eat, then is Volde-
mort a pretty, innocent unicorn?
Get seven psych studies done in one week? Challenge accepted.
If Bieber gets a fever, what would we call it?
But if you can't smell the Axe I'm wearing, how will I attract flocks of women that seductively cling to me?
I think my calculus GTA is upset that we all failed his exam. He started using f(u) instead of f(x) in all of his examples.
I don't know how you're watching Project Runway during our lecture.
There are certain things that should not be brought to class. Extreme cleavage is one of them.
Quit shortening my FF-
Editor's Note: This FFA has been cut
short for space.
Why am I the only one that just laughed about the kid running behind our bus to get on?
Poison ivy, lice and insect bite lecture today. Cannot. Stop. Feeling Itchy.
Jeff Withey would obviously be Batman.
I hate driving on L-70 because every time I see a semi approaching in my rear view window I think Optimus Prime is chasing me down.
I wish FFA submissions had a "like" button.
That awkward moment when the lock on the bathroom stall breaks and you find yourself locked inside.
How much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub?
If you don't use the crosswalk, I don't stop.
I can see the appeal of a razor scooter about half the time, but I can't imagine how much effort it takes to get up all these hills.
When I see people having class outside, I have to fight the urge to go sit down with them and see if they say anything about it.
On a scale of one to Adele, how bad was your break up?
Only in the boom-boom room is dancing and hooking up the same thing.
Someone stole the horoscope page out of my paper, Good God, what am I supposed to do with myself?
I changed what my friend's Siri calls her to "nose hair." It somehow later went off in class. Yes, I am 12 years old.
I thought by now I'd be able to make it to the top of the hill without sweating and my calf screws. Ah. I guess some things never change.
TELEVISION
'Downton Abbey' character-faceoff
VIOLET CRAWLEY
By Lou Schumaker
lschumaker@kansan.com
Let's be real: there is no one greater than the Dowager Countess, Violet Crawley. The mother of the Earl of Grantham was introduced as an ice cold battle-axe who always got her way through either cunning or sheer force of will. Since then, the series has shown her to be empathetic and kind without ever losing the fiery spirit that made us love her in the first place.
Whether she's zinging Isobel Crawley or trying to marry Mary off, the Countess has outshone the rest of the cast with her nerve and wit.
While the show is chock-a-block with dry wit and pithy sayings, the Dowager Countess can barely speak without saying something hilarious. She's like Oscar Wilde if he were a seventy year-old woman.
Violet Crawley cemented herself as the series standout character as early as the second episode, when she asked, "What is a weekend?" and again in the Christmas special when Sir Richard threatened to leave and never come back and Violet shot back with, "Do you promise?"
When one of her granddaughters was down on her luck and feeling sorry for herself, Violet offered the immortal words, "Don't be defeatist, dear, it's very middle class."
Of course, if all she did was constantly belittle people, it would be hard to root for Violet (although it would make "Downton Abbey" 10 times more entertaining). As the series progressed, Violet revealed herself to be the family's protector. While Robert Crawley is charged with the upkeep of Downton, Violet is the one who throws around her weight on behalf of the family and its staff.
When the servant boy William was injured in World War I, Violet is the one who pressured military superiors into moving him closer to home so his father could be with him. Around the same time, she also pressured a priest into allowing William to marry his love just before he died.
Without her hard work, thered be no Downton Abbey and without her wilt, there'd be no "Downton Abbey."
Schumaker is a senior in film & media studies and English from Overland Park.
LADY SYBIL
By Gabby Pred
grped@kansan.com
Lady Sybil Crawley is by far the best character on the show. She is extremely progressive in all senses for the times and is not afraid to make her views known. She fiercely defends her opinions and stands her ground on them as well, making her a strong female figure for the early 20th century.
She stays above the pettiness of the aristocratic lifestyle, caring not for gossip, titles, or wealth but for people's individual character.
She is very smart, focusing her interests in politics, especially the suffrage movement. She rebelliously attends political rallies and wants to canvass for the Liberal party. This shakes up her fairly conservative family, especially her father and grandmother.
She is fashion-forward, in an episode of season one she sports harem pants instead of a traditional dress or skirt.
She is endlessly kind to everyone, especially the staff of Downton. She makes it her personal mission to help one of the maids pursue a career as a secretary, affording her upward social mobility (something rare and difficult for the servant class at the time).
She again defies societal norms at the advent of World War I by training to be nurse and tirelessly working at the local hospital to help take care of wounded soldiers. She understands and enjoys working an actual job, very uncommon for lords and ladies at the time.
In my opinion, one of the best sub-plots of the series is her secret romance with the family's socialist chauffeur, Branson. For years they have this secret courtship based on their mutual views on politics and society. Branson obviously loves her greatly and in the end of the second season Sibyl finally decides to tell her family. She disregards all societal pressure at this point and is willing to throw away her entire inheritance and family for love. Her father finally comes around and gives his approval and does not cut her out of the estate and the young couple moves to Dublin and gets married.
Lady Sybil is one of the only characters on the show who never acts out of malice and actively works to improve the world around her and right the many injustices present at the time.
Pred is a junior in political science and peace and conflict studies from Kansas City.
MR. BATES
By Bill McCroy bmccroy@kansan.com
I'm fully aware that the last episode of the critically acclaimed "Downton Abbey," was a few months ago but it is far too good to forget. I'm already counting down the weeks until the third season. But for now, I'm going to illustrate why John Bates is the best character and the best all-around person at Downton.
First and foremost, Mr. Bates is Lord Grantham's valet, a personal attendant who is tasked with taking care of the Lord's clothes and assisting the Lord in dressing. Bates is a man's man; an old army friend of Lord Grantham and was injured in the Boer War, which forces him to use a cane.
Above all, Bates is a highly honorable man and has a deep sense of duty and doing the right thing. Even in the face of constant ridicule in the first season from the rest of the house staff due to his need of a cane, he goes about his job without complaining or asking for extra assistance. He doesn't step out of line and doesn't get himself mixed up in other people's business, which is a constant problem in the mansion. He is honest to a fault and went to jail in the place of his wife.
Bates is flexible with the times, his dealings with his love affair, the head housemaid Anna Smith, showcase that he believes in love and equality within the relationship. And he is clearly patriotic, shown through his sense of duty and admiration toward those within the house that leave for World War 1.
So don't pay attention to my colleagues as they make the arguments for the best character. The Dowager Countess is a backwards old hag who can't understand what a weekend is. She meddles in the lives of everyone in the village and wishes the world wouldn't move on from a 19th Century way of doing things. Sybil Crawley is the youngest daughter of an Earl. She wouldn't know the plight of the working man if it hit her in the face with a croquet mallet. It isn't until the onslaught of wounded soldiers coming home from the First World War that she even considers helping anyone below her station.
Plus, Brendan Coyle, the actor who portrays John Bates in the series, is the great-nephew of legendary Manchester United football manager Sir Matt Busby. As a lifelong supporter, that settles it for me. John Bates is the best character in "Downton Abbey."
McCroy is a senior in economics from Des Moines, Iowa.
INTERNATIONAL
North Korea's provocations are not threatening
In 2007, 67-year-old Karl Szmolinsky made world headlines when he sold a dozen oversized rabbits to North Korea as a gesture of goodwill. According to Der Spiegel newspaper, the rabbits, which could weigh about 20 pounds each, were meant to begin a widespread breeding program to supplement the country's skimpy food supply. A few months later, the international community realized the North Korean regime didn't intend to continue fostering bunny diplomacy. Allegedly, the animals' time in Korea coincided conveniently with Kim Jong Il's birthday feast, ending that opportunity for engagement.
The most recent negotiations met a similar fate last Friday, as North Korea once again caught the world's attention. Rather than launching a weather satellite into space, the Uhna-3 rocket crashed 125 miles west of the Korean coast, according to CNN. Making predictions about the inner workings of the ultra-secretive North Korean ruling elite tends to be a difficult business, as the regime
maintains tight control over information flowing out of the country. That said, I'd bet top advisers wish they'd saved those giant rabbit feet; it looks like they're in for an eventful few months.
The violation of a series of negotiations in February, in which North Korea agreed to halt missile testing and nuclear development in exchange for food aid, fits within a broader pattern of behavior. Preparations to transfer power between Kim Jong II and his 29-year-old son Kim Jong Un began last September. In order to build Jung Un's reputation as a tough leader and create a narrative of his struggle against outside influences the regime orchestrated a series of provocations, including sinking of a South Korean naval ship, giving a Stanford physicist a tour of a previously secluded nuclear facility, and shelling a South Korean island. The advisers overseeing these moves carried out a similar strategy 40 years ago, when Kim Il Sung handed off power. After Kim Jong II's death last December, the newest leader appears prepared to cement his military credibility—an absolute prerequisite to his control over the country and its security apparatus.
To guess at what might follow, note that the launch took place just two days before one of the largest celebrations in North Korea, the hundredth anniversary of Kim Il Sung's birth. A success would have been a huge public victory for the new leadership, portraying North Korea as a major technological and military power to its domestic audience. Shockingly, the national news agency broadcast news of the failure, surely pressuring Jong Un to deliver fodder for successful propaganda soon.
to deter the country from prioritizing military strength over international goodwill or promises of foreign aid. During national festivities, Kim Jong Un's speech emphasized the importance of both military first policies and self-reliance. Government spending on military operations reaffirms this tendency. The Boston Herald reports that 15.8 percent of the official budget is devoted to defense, with other funds set aside for nuclear activities. Preparations for the failed launch alone cost $850 million, despite the sacrifice of 240,000 tons of food aid.
Don't expect this setback
With further acts of aggression likely, the question turns to what form these provocations might take. Historically, the regime has chosen to follow failed missile launches with nuclear testing, and on Tuesday it announced it would not allow International Atomic Energy Agency inspectors to visit. Options to restrain the country remain limited. China will defend its ally's interests in the United Nation Security Council, and the Kim regime seems
Fortunately for the international community, the North Korean nuclear program still doesn't pose a particularly formidable threat. Wired magazine cites a number of experts, including former members of the U.S. Army's Space Command, who agree that the missile failure accurately reflects the country's lack of rocket capabilities. Without a functioning delivery system North Korea can't gain much leverage from its nuclear capability. Although tensions will remain high all powers will have an incentive to maintain some degree of stability, leaving the broader international community in a far better position than the giant rabbits.
unlikely to trade its biggest bargaining chip away for economic assistance. Empirically, the presence of U.S.military personnel on the island hasn't deterred unwanted aggression either.
HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Gress is a freshman in political science from Overland Park.
LETTER GUIDELINES
Send letters to kansanopdesk@gmail.com.
Write LETTER TO THE EDITOR in the e-mail subject line.
Length: 300 words
The submission should include the author's name, grade and hometown Find our **full letter to the editor policy** online at kansan.com/letters.
Jain Cummings, editor
864-481 or jasm@kansan.com
Lisa Curtain, managing editor
864-481 or ljasm@kansan.com
Jon Samp, opinion editor
864-452 or jasm@kansan.com
Garrett Lent, business manager
8435-4588 or gilan@ganan.com
Korland Earl, sales manager
8437-4727 or kilan@ganan.com
CONTACT US
Malcolm Gibson, general manager and news adviser
864-7676 or mgibson@kansas.com
Jon Schmitt, sales and marketing adviser
864-7666 or jschmitt@kansas.com
THE EDITORIAL BOARD Members of the Kansan Board are Ian Cummings, Lisa Cranner, Jon Samp, Angela Hawkins and Ryan Schuster.