HOROSCOPES
Because the stars know things we don't.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Today is an 8
It's not a good time to gamble today. Leave your money buried. You won't need it any way. Consider your upcoming projects: the next month holds passionate study.
taurus (April 20-May 20)
Today is a 7
Stay and finish up. Consider
the long-term impacts of your
actions. There could be a conflict between home and career.
Do the homework.
FRIDAY, APRIL 6, 2012
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Today is a 7
Guard against jealousies.
Avoid an argument to keep the peace. Steer clear of travel for a while. Practice leads to perfection. Schedule for success.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Today is a 7
Today is a 7
Take on more work, even if it complicates things. Make sure you're clear on what's required before doing the job.
Get expenses approved. Take a bubble bath later.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Today is a 7
Today is a 7 There's no need to take risks with money. Love is another matter, patience and persistence win out. Defer gratification. Rumors may not match facts. Double-check instructions.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today is an 7
Don't go against your core values no matter what. Watch your step. There could be a big change at home. Sometimes you need to tear down and rebuild. Stay objective.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Tuesday in a S
Lorea (Sept 29-Oct. 22)
Today is a 6
Let hope replace an old fear.
Advise a loved one to do the same. Keep costs low, and go for it. Some ideas won't work.
Test them to find out which ones will.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Today is a 7
Today is a 7
Money isn't everything. Neither a borrower nor a lender be, and you won't have to deal with the interest. Keep your word, as a basic rule. You're coming into your own.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec.21) Today is a 6
Patience is key now. Don't be harsh on yourself. You're really doing the best you can with what you have. Enjoy the Full Moon with a friend. Plant seeds.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.19)
Today is a 6
It's not a good day to travel, yet you could learn a lot from the possible breakdowns. Expect different opinions. Completion leads to satisfaction.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb.18)
Today is a 7
The roller-coaster ride continues; you might as well have fun. Being harsh on yourself is not attractive. Keep the money in a safe place. Stay adaptable.
Get through the day as best you can. Don't hit your head against the wall if something you're doing doesn't work. Try it differently. Your patience gets rewarded.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today is a 6
I
CROSSWORD
ACROSS
1 Energy
4 Car
8 Mexican money
12 Scull tool
13 Got bigger
14 Small stream
15 Wasteful
17 Exam format
18 Ashen
19 Last letter
20 Sleep soundly?
22 Pedestal part
24 Master of cere-
monies
25 Crystal-line mineral
29 "i" — Camera"
30 Shuts loudly
31 Brazilian tourist mecca
32 Miami squad
34 Shape
36 Coral producer
37 Let
40 Texas city
41 Laugh-a-minute
42 Saskatchewan, e.g.
46 Roundish hairdo
47 Aching
48 Eviscerate
49 Existed
50 On the rocks
51 Vast expanse
DOWN
1 Soda
2 Listener
3 Offer
CHECK OUT
THE ANSWERS
http://udkne.ws/HRcYdd
4 Nimble
5 Incite
6 Afternoon social
7 Pussy-Cat's partner
8 Ads for upcoming shows
9 Green land
10 Refinery refuse
11 — podrida
16 Pub missile
19 Probability
20 Roe provider
21 Hideo of baseball
22 Campus VIPs
23 Charitable donations
25 Buy and resell quickly
26 Drags out
27 Ethereal
28 Cavort
30 "Pygmalion" writer
33 Atom component
34 Points of concentration
36 Macadamized
37 Bedouin
38 Bio title word, often
39 Traditional tales
40 Sported
42 Letter before 19-Across
43 Sindbad's bird
44 Prompt
45 Timetable list
PAGE 4
CRYPTOQUIP
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HUOIYM IYZG GS AUGYQC,
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Yesterday's Cryptoquip: SINCE MY PRIMARY
SUBJECT IN COLLEGE WAS "SUCCESS IN PLACING
BETS." 1 WAS MAJORING IN WAGERING.
Today's Cryptoquip Clue: S equals O
SUDOKU
Difficulty Level ★★★★
4/06
TELEVISION
CLOWNING AROUND
New show to feature life in a newsroom
LOS ANGELES — The first episode of HBO's new Aaron-Sorkin-penned series "The Newsroom," starring Jeff Daniels will air on June 24.
In the series, Daniels plays stressed-out news anchor Will McAovy attempting to remake his show after a staff exodus at the fictional Atlantis Cable News. Supporting cast members include "Slumdog Millionaire's" Dev Patel, Jane Fonda, Sam Waterston, Emily Mortimer and Olivia Munn.
The trailer for "The Newsroom" looks as though creator Sorkin is combining two of his previous TV hits: the behind-the-scenes of a TV show excitement of "Sports Night" mixed with the hot-button issues of "The West Wing."
McClatchy Tribune
Floyd "Creeky" Creekmore puts on his makeup before a performance in Billings, Mont. Guinness World Records has anointed the world's oldest performing clown, and it's none other than Creekmore, a former Montana rancher who's been donning the big nose and bright makeup for almost eight decades.
ASSOCIATED PRESS
ASSOCIATED PRESS
Circus performer named oldest clown in the world
BILLINGS, Mont. — Floyd "Creeky" Creekmore is one of the quieter acts in the circus, his larger-than-life clown shoes shuffling methodically as he works the crowd, igniting surprised giggles and slack-jawed wonder from children that look up to encounter Creekmore's wrinkled eyes smiling through thick makeup.
At 95 years old, the former Montana rancher recently dubbed the oldest performing clown in the world has fewer magic tricks up his oversized sleeves than he once
did. He gave up juggling several years ago after a stroke, and has long since parked the home-made bicycle he once incorporated into his acts.
But when the Shrine Circus comes through Billings, where Creekmore lives with his 96-year-old wife, Betty, Creeky the Clown returns to life.
At home in his kitchen, while Betty dozes in the living room, Creekmore pulls on a multi-colored, striped jacket and dons a bright orange wig topped by a yellow hat. He glues on a rubber nose, carefully ties his shoes.
When his shaky right hand sends a line of make-up askew on one side of his face, Creekmore just makes the other side a little crooked, too.
TELEVISION
Others have laid claim to the title of world's oldest clown, including an 81-year-old member of the Moscow Circus, Oleg "The Sun Clown" Popov and Andy "Bumbo" Beyer of Santa Ana, Calif., who was widely publicized as the oldest until his retirement three years ago at the age of 91.
"I'll stay back from the crowd so they don't notice," he says.
Ron Swanson: a man to be admired
MCCLATCHY TRIBUNE
LOS ANGELES — There are many reasons to watch NBC's marvelously funny "Parks and Recreation," but at this point I only need one: Ron Swanson.
Swanson is played by Nick Offerman, an actor blessed with a deeply melodious voice and wickedly expressive eyebrows who has mastered, if not invented, the art of over-the-top understatement. But Swanson is a sum of several parts — an exquisite creation of Offerman's talent, but also of writing and directing, of hair, makeup and wardrobe.
My love for Ron Swanson is so fair and wild and true that it has become difficult for me to appreciate even the cockeyed wonder that is Amy Poehler's Leslie Knope or the comedy perfect pairing of April (Aubrey Plaza) and Andy (Chris Pratt) if Ron is not in the scene. My love for Ron Swanson is so close to devotion that I have begun to measure every man on television (and more than a few in real life) against him, and all of them fall lamentably short.
And I love him with all my heart.
Which shouldn't surprise me. Though there are plenty of "guys" on television, there are very few men. Ron Swanson is a man.
He wears slacks, not skinny
leans or even pants, and his
Ron Swanson doesn't wear vests and drink tea, doesn't pop Vicodin and sexually harass his staff, doesn't live with two other goofy guys and a girl, or another man and his child. Ron Swanson isn't a smart-mouth member of law enforcement; neither does he murder people ritualistically and then blame it all on a traumatic childhood incident.
sweaters are collared. He is comfortable with firearms. He can fix things that are broken and solve really tough riddles. He is quietly rude and often quite chivalrous. He plays the saxophone.
Ron Swanson laughs like a little girl and gets away with it because he understands things that other humans of his chromosomal order appear to have forgotten, including:
1. HAIR.
A man should comb his hair, after which it should appear combed. I could write a sonnet to Ron's hair, which rises on a semi-Elvis wave, in perfect harmony with the mustache echoing it below.
2. THE MUSTACHE.
After years of enduring the mixed message of carefully tended scruff — "I'm too busy/ disaffected to shave! But I manage to be unshaven in an even and meticulously shaped way!" — it is a relief to see a man with real
facial hair. Sorry, Selleck, there's a new 'stache in town.
3. THE BOD.
4. THE DIET.
Ron Swanson does not look like he weighs less than me. What with the general waifishness of men on TV, I cannot overstate the aphrodisiac effect this has on a woman.
5. THE ATTITUDE.
Steak, bacon and Scotch. Three of the best-tasting, best-smelling things in the world.
Ron is not apathetic, Ron is Zen. He is a public servant who hates 99 percent of the public, a government official who does not believe in government. He will not suffer fools at all, save the fools he has come to love and those he will protect with his life.
When the show began, Ron was just one of a very loose and uniformed ensemble. Part of upper management, his character seemed designed mainly to serve as ballast, the grimacing, feet-dragging yin to Leslie's overly zealous cheerleading yang. Slowly he was allowed glimmers of humanity, through his grudging admiration of Leslie and his mentoring of April, a young woman as antisocial and indif-
2.
Because "Parks and Rec" did not have a real conflict at its heart, or even an uber-narcissist, a la "The Office," the characters have all become a bit more lovable without falling into a sentimental sameness. Miraculously, Ron, like April, has been allowed to maintain his mien of disdain while his otherness has only increased.
Over the years we learned of Ron's bizarre psychosexual past, including his marriages to the glacially powerful Tammy One and addictively kinky Tammy Two (played to great effect by Patricia Clarkson and Offerman's real-life spouse. Megan Mullary, respectively), of his strange childhood spent learning anachronistic skills (in a recent episode, he recounts working in a metal factory and a tannery "while trying to finish middle school") and his firm belief that most government
Even so, Ron remains a man of mystery. His true feelings are revealed only by his actions — whether these be fixing every broken thing in April and Andy's house or spending the day driving all over creation to prove to Leslie that she is trying to do too much.
In fact, he doesn't actually need that, or at least not nearly as much as a Buck knife, a roll of duct tape, a T-bone and a little peace and quiet.
is a waste of time and money.
Unlike the multitude of fractured and unforthcoming antiheroes that crowd the screen, Ron is all action and little talk. And whatever his past, he is past desiring help in dealing with it. Ron isn't nursing some tragic hurt that needs a woman's love to heal; he doesn't need to be fixed, he just needs to be accepted.
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