Volume 124 Issue 124
kansan.com
Friday, March 30, 2012
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
--and he couldn't drive. On the way to school in the mornings, we would talk, mostly about my parents. I did my best to answer his questions, but his face still told me he was upset. I felt like I had to be there for him, because all we had was each other.
SPEAK
GROWING TOGETHER HOW MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BROTHER WENT FROM JUST SIBLINGS, TO BEST FRIENDS // BRITTNEY HAYNES
CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
Brittney Haynes with her younger brother Brad.
I was 17, a senior in high school, and my brother Brad was 15. While I went out with friends and was involved in clubs and activities at school, Brad preferred to listen to music in his room or go hunting with his dog. Wed always gotten along, but never really had a relationship.Starting that September though, things began to change.
When my parents asked to have a family meeting, I knew what was coming. To me, it was obvious things hadn't been going well between them. A few months earlier they'd started fighting about everything money, intimacy, bills, you name it. Every fight took place in the living room, which happened to be right outside my bedroom door. So what my dad said next came as no surprise to me.
"Here's the deal guys. We're getting a divorce." I looked at my younger brother, who was sitting across the room. His face dropped in complete confusion.
Brad rode with me to school every day since we lived seven miles out of town,
I went off to college the following fall, and we would talk periodically on the phone or on Facebook. When I came home for the summer, we both returned to our summer jobs of lifeguarding at our hometown pool. We were out on rotation at the same time, so we also had our breaks together. That summer I felt that my brother began to see me as more of a friend than just his older sister. We went to Warped Tour together, made frequent Sonic and ice cream runs and went to the movies. He asked me when was the right time to ask a girl out and talked to me about how I knew I was in love. He asked my opinion on classes he wanted to take his junior year and even started discussing the possibility of majoring in
elementary school education in college We began to discover the things we had in common:a love for alternative rock sweet potato fries and children. After that summer, I finally began to feel a connection to my brother and I found leaving home to go back up to school a little harder than the year before.
During my second year of college, my mother moved closer to her job in Sedgwick, and my brother moved with her. 50 miles away from my hometown of Sterling. Brad switched high schools for his senior year. He was excited to move to Sedgwick and get a fresh start. Brad had been playing football since he was in the fifth grade. He wasn't getting much playing time, so he really looked forward to football season at a new high school.
He fit right in. He had friends over at the house constantly and he went from getting Cs and Ds, to As and Bs. I began to get phone calls from him after every football game to tell me how his team did. I could tell how happy he was just from hearing how optimistic he sounded. On his 18th birthday, he had his opening game, which they won. I was able to go home for his senior night game later in the season, and it was one of the best football games I've ever been to. Brad played the entire game and had several key tackles and blocks. After the game, I ran onto the field to see him. He wrapped me up in a hug as I told him how proud of him I was.
My brother had never been up to visit me at college by himself so this past November, he came up and spent a weekend with me. It was one of the best weekends we've had together. We went ice-skating, hung out at my boyfriend's fraternity, and went out together that night. He got to experience college life as I experience it.
Towards the end of winter break as I was shopping with a family friend, I got a call from my mom.
"You got a second?" she asked
"Well, your brother just signed with the Army."
"Yeah, sure." I replied.
I felt my heart drop in my chest. "What?"
"He decided to do the Army Reserves. He had been talking to a recruit about
it for awhile, and after discussing it with your dad and me, he decided to do it."
A million things were running through my head. "What is the Army Reserves? Is he going to be deployed? Why did he decide to do this instead of school? Is he not going to college anymore?" I asked my mom every question I could think of, and although I tried to not cry, I felt the tears start to fall.
She explained to me what the Army Reserves is. Brad will go to boot camp and then training for whatever he wants his specialty to be. He'll be gone for a year and a half before he's able to attend college. The Army Reserve will pay for his college as long as he does his monthly commitment, which is one weekend a month, the entire time he's in school.
After I understood things a little better, I asked my mom to hand the phone to my brother.
"You didn't think to talk to me before you made a decision like this?" I asked.
"Sis, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but this is my decision. And this way, I'll get to go to KU, just like you."
I slowly began to realize that my brother was a man. He wasn't my little brother sitting in my front seat on the way to high school. He didn't need my advice. Hed grown up and was able to make decisions for himself, and this was obviously what he thought was the best choice.
"You know I love you, right?" I said. "I know that."
"Then know that I'll stand by you and support you no matter what. This is the right decision for you."
After Brad graduates in May, he'll leave for boot camp in September. He also recently found out that after his training, he'll be deployed to Afghanistan for two years. I won't get to spend the summer with him because I'll be abroad for an internship. I'm upset that I won't get to spend the summer with him, and I'll be the first to admit I'm terrified at the thought of him being deployed and in Afghanistan. But despite that he won't be just be a phone call away anymore, I couldn't be prouder of him and the man that he's become.
"This sort of energy is good for Lawrence, and it is a more cohesive night for everybody." Murphy said.
This Friday, 26 businesses and galleries downtown will take part in the event. Lost Space Art, 845
Before it started, artists and galleries worked individually, Murphy said the art community is now coming together, and there is more emphasis on community projects.
downtown every month.
Lawrence Art Center, Downtown Lawrence Incorporated, the Lawrence Chamber of Commerce, art galleries and artists collaborated in August 2010 to create the monthly event.
"A recent economic impact study shows that Final Fridays are bringing in at least $85,000 each final Friday to restaurants and businesses around the locations," said Final Fridays Coordinator Molly Murphy.
Art.
"We've had anyone from KU professors, to people who ship their art in from Seattle," said Summer Bradshaw, an intern at Wonder Fair Art Gallery, 803 $ \frac{1}{2} $ Massachusetts Street.
14. DOWNTOWN UPSTAIRS (824 1/2 Massachusetts St.)
Like many downtown galleries, its busiest day of the month is on the last Friday.
9. SMILING MAD DESIGNS & INKELLO LETTERPRESS (801.5, Suite 3 Massachusetts St.)
Meting Corp. s is a bad t, general
"The place gets pretty packed," Flinders said. "The town is on fire on Final Fridays."
Among the local artists who participate in the event, University students have taken advantage of showcasing their work during the event.
Artists from around the country, as well as those from the Lawrence area, have benefited from Final Fridays.
In 2011, Jessie Kelley, a senior from Wichita, curated a gallery specifically for 16 college students.
17. THE BOURGEOIS PIG (6 E. 9th St.)
Edited by Corinne Westeman
15. PHOENIX GALLERY (825 Massachusetts St.)
18. Z's DIVINE DOWNTOWN ESPRESSO
(10 E. 9th St.)
OS
8. PACHAMAMAS
(800 New Hampshire St.)
"Final Fridays gets people in the store," said Irene Walker, an artist and employee at BDC Tattoo. "Sometimes there are people who would never step foot in a tattoo shop that have come in."
16. LOST ART SPACE (845 Massachusetts St.)
AGE 7A
les, such as the Fox Trot shoe store. 823 Massachusetts Street, also participate in Final Fridays, Owner Caroline Mithias said the event brings in a lot of foot traffic into her store, and it supports the art community.
Big Daddy Cadillacs Tattoo, 938 Massachusetts Street, features one artist a month. This Friday, they are showing Erin Brazler's "Fatties on Parade" exhibition, which are marker-drawn portraits of humorous cartoon characters.
CLASSIFIEDS 2B
CROSSWORD 4A
13. LOVE GARDEN SOUNDS (822 Massachusetts St.)
5. SIGNS OF LIFE (722 Massachusetts St.)
CRYPTOQUPS 4A
OPINION 5A
SPORTS 18
SUDOKU 4A
6. THE LAWRENCE ART PARTY (718 New Hampshire St.)
12. FOXTROT
(823 Massachusetts St.)
3. THE ELDRIDGE HOTEL (701 Massachusetts St.)
4. LAWRENCE PUBLIC LIBRARY (707 Vermont St.)
7. TELLER'S RESTAURANT UPSTAIRS (746 Massachusetts St.)
Index
Center on 9th St.
22. KANSAS SAMPLER (921 Massachusetts St.)
23. THE GRANADA
(1020 Massachusetts St.)
21. LAWRENCE ARTS CENTER (940 New Hampshire)
unless stated otherwise, $ \circ $ 2012 The University Daily Kansan
24. AIMEE'S CAFE & COFFEE SHOP (1025 Massachusetts St.)
26. 1109 GALLERY
(1109 Massachusetts St.)
25. WATKINS COMMUNITY MUSEUM (1047 Massachusetts St.)
Continuing student enrollment begins for summer and fall' semesters, 2012. For more info, see Office of the Registrar, www.registrar@ku.edu.
Today's Weather
Skies will be clear with a warm temperature and a calm north wind.
Everyone can see you sweating.