WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28, 2012
PAGE 5
opinion
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I'm no Picasso, but my stick figures have been described as "lusty."
My roommate can't even scratch her own foot, because "it tickles."
You know you're an honors student when class gets canceled for the first time this semester and all of your peers are livid.
The townies are laughing at you for thinking it is hot now. Wait until summer officially starts!
They built The Underground on top of the Underground Railroad.
My parents are the only thing between me and floor seats at the Final Four this weekend. Who needs a kidney? I need cash!
Is it just me, or do guys on motorcycles seem really hot because of the mystery that the helmet provides?
Watching the girl in front of me creep on Facebook is more interesting than my professor's lecture.
I think I'm going to open an obnoxiously priced umbrella stand in front of Snow Hall on rainy days.
You are a lot like Google, because you are everything I have been searching for.
New cute bus driver? Talk about inspiration to go to class. Well played, KU.
Did anyone else instinctively get ready to leave when the steam whistle blew in "The Hunger Games?"
If I said something nice about your body would you hold it against me?
The Union should have been built in the exact shape of a Jayhawk, and we would enter through the mouth. (Editor's note: Where would we exit?)
That awkward moment when the person in the stall next to you is strug-gling, you're both aware of the other's presence and neither wants to be the first to leave.
Now everyone in Oliver Dining Hall knows you have herpes. Thanks for the heads up!
I thought I liked the nice weather. Then I got sunburned waiting for the bus.
Take advantage of $25 Final Four tickets! That is a 1971 price!
My professor walked in wearing a do-rag.
If KU wins the national championship, I will buy each person on campus a shot of the finest liquor around.
I can't handle JRP's hot flashes. Settle down!
If squirrels were to give "swirlies," would they be called "squirrelies?"
Future of 3-D lies in hands of 'Hobbit'
MOVIES
I can't call 3-D a worthless gimmick anymore. Complete artists such as Martin Scorsese and Werner Herzog have proven it's not just the tool of schlock-meisters. With "Hugo" and "Cave of Forgotten Dreams," they've elevated its purposes and explored this new format, revealing its indispensable cinematic capacity in the face of the apparently digital future. Now, another brilliant director could save 3-D from its current floundering.
Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" will be released on Dec. 14 and it is a foregone conclusion that it will be a financial success, but whatever box-office records the movie shatters will have a greater effect on the future of movies than on Peter Jackson, J.R.R. Tolkien or any of their fans because of the innovations implemented in its production. A triumph of profit and creativity could ensure the death of celluloid film and ultimately bring cinema back to its novel origins.
For those not up to speed, here's an explanation of what is happening behind the scenes of "The Hobbit."
This adaptation of the original journey through Middle Earth will be shot in 3-D at 48 frames per second. The first feature everyone's familiar with, but the second is what could perfect it. The current visual quality of 3-D has a major problem — the noticeable blurring of subjects moving within the frame — critically when the frame itself moves, and clarity of movement is essential for anything called a "movie."
If "The Hobbit" is shot and projected at 48 frames per second, the strobing effect should be lessened, perhaps eliminated. Throughout the country, theaters are being made capable of projecting at 48 frames to ensure that audiences get the full experience of "The Hobbit." This could pose a problem, because what will improve 3-D has so far ruined 2-D.
Every movie you've seen has been projected at 24 frames per second. That has been the industry standard since the late 1920s. There is a small, but insignificant blur. We're shown slightly less information than what we ourselves can perceive. Movies have endured using this frame rate for
nearly a century. In the digital age, we've been able to experiment with higher frame rates, so far to failure.
If you walk into a Best Buy, you'll come across a television that makes a Hollywood movie look like a crap video. The subjects' movements are clearer, but the subjects themselves don't seem as if they belong in their environment. This is due to digitally increased frames per second. What supposedly looks clearer and more "realistic" in 2-D actually shows us something we have never seen in reality. It's confusing and distracting, both of which are detrimental attributes for a film.
So Jackson's experimentation is a great financial gamble. Will audiences accept the image he's captured? What will happen if
they do? 3-D stands upon the edge of a knife, so to speak. What happens if it strays? I think the current trends point to an eventual undoing of what movies have become.
If 3-D is proven a form with visual and creative integrity, more directors will use it, giving theater owners a financial incentive to switch to digital projection, which is ultimately cheaper than film projection. When celluloid film has nowhere to be exhibited, it will become museum novelty.
After 3-D has finished off celluloid, it will be the only form suited for talented, ambitious young directors in a landscape dominated by the flavorless 2-D digital image. It will be the only way for anyone to explore the image with the same exuberance set by Scorsese, Herzog and Jackson, while subsequently giving the hacks flashier tools.
Now, if audiences don't accept theater prices for these 3-D events, the industry will simply devolve at the same pace it has been. If they do, however, how long will audiences or directors tolerate the teasing limits of 3-D and the inability
of its subjects to completely escape the confines of the screen? How long before the frame is gone and, as Scorsese has predicted, "Hamlet comes out into the middle of the audiences and does 'to be or not to be?'"
If 3-D triumphs, then the discipline of the four-sided screen will eventually be told to disappear. By that time, regardless of whether 3-D has succeeded, 2-D movies will have become as common as YouTube videos.
If you don't believe that, check out the new Lytro still-camera, which allows its photos to be refocused after they're taken, a feature that when adapted to movie cameras will make the skill of cinematography moot and allow more and more amateurs to pursue this field. The market, now flooding because of semi-automation, will drown in an advent of complete automation and non-existent budgets.
The future of 3-D is about nine months off. Let us settle in for the deep breath before the plunge.
ACTIVISM
George Clooney's arrest prompts action, not just social awareness
Coy is a sophomore in film and media studies from Lenexa.
Everyone knows George Clooney got arrested, and everyone knows it's because he was protesting actions by the Sudanese government. Clooney's campaign is good for the situation in Sudan, despite what some say, and it's not just because we're all talking about it; it's because he knows the importance of including action in building awareness.
Clooney's arrest has many in the U.S. commending him for being a passionate and dedicated humanitarian, but some others are taking a more critical approach. As I know it is important to view any such campaign with a critical eye, I welcome this perspective. But I disagree with those who claim Clooney's attention-grabbing campaign isn't helping Sudan.
Before addressing the totality of his campaign or the outcome, I first want to point out where Clooney is coming from. He is, in fact, an actor, not a scholar or a historian, who has taken a significant humanitarian interest in the country for a long time. He's used his own resources in a responsible way in doing personal, firsthand research into the conflict and reporting facts as he sees them, as well as learning from country experts and other humanitarians.
This does not immediately qualify as effective campaigning, but before we start ragging on him for just being a rich, white man doing a publicity stunt in the name of humanitarianism, we must remember that so many in his position do not do a thing.
That, of course, doesn't mean
we have to love everything Clooney does—think we all remember "Batman & Robin." In all seriousness though, having good intentions doesn't mean you're necessarily doing the right thing.
Clooney is, however, at least partially doing his campaign the right way. He immediately issued a call to action asking the United States to prevent further crisis in Sudan and to oppose Bashir's method of attacking regions with disregard to innocent civilians. Instead of bringing the problem to our attention, Clooney is demanding something be done about it.
This hasn't satisfied some critics. One blogger for the Guardian likened Clooney's simplified analysis of the situation in Sudan to the problem-riddled Kony 2012 campaign.
Yes. Clooney's explanation is in simple terms (again: actor, not scholar). The picture of the conditions in Sudan that Clooney paints does neglect the nuances and intricacies of the conflict. That must be acknowledged. But comparing his efforts to Kony 2012 does not make much sense
Though there are many more actors at play in the conflicts between the Sudanese
government, South Sudan, militias, and other parties, the fact of the matter is that the government in Khartoum is to blame for much of the destruction and killing of civilians. The fact is that President Bashir has been indicted by the International Criminal Court on charges of war crimes, genocide, and crimes against humanity. Though so much information is left out of the equation, there is still value in targeting the truly guilty party that is the government of Sudan.
Without such simplification, Clooney's message could not have gotten out to such a large audience. Without that circulation, there would continue to be little action on behalf of innocent Sudanese. Would we rather have no outside opposition to the Sudanese government at all?
Organizations such as Amnesty International have been able to use the hook of Clooney's arrest to create more venues for action and to increase knowledge about the warrant for Bashir's arrest. And with an individual as prominent in American culture as one of Hollywood's biggest actors calling on them to act, U.S. government officials are probably more likely to pay attention.
Clooney's message has spurred not only awareness but action. By putting action for change at the forefront of his campaign, he is paving the way for a movement toward stopping violence.
Cosby is a senior from Overland Park majoring in political science and English.
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HUMOR
TSA airport security makes air travelers run the gauntlet
The "War on Terror," to which my generation has been most unfairly subjected, never fails to make a dark and foreboding parody of itself. Our government fights people we buy oil from by creating an endless alphabet soup of organizations, with acronyms such as TSA, DHS, KGB and NAMBLA.
It's very easy to be overwhelmed with the myriad regulations and redundant, invasive protocol. Of course, what can you expect from the same people who brought you the Department of Motor Vehicles? Vlad the Impaler was far more merciful with his subjects, simply because he expected them to die after their arduous suffering. Our democratic republic, on the other hand, apparently wants to prolong our agony as long as humanly possible.
Whenever I board a plane, I
wringy reniquish all my basic human rights, just like children at Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. This really doesn't make the electronic denuding, loveless rage
by eye or groping any less disconcerting. Fellow citizens, we live under the reign of a soft and soft-core tyranny.
"Even the more pleasant-looking TSA guards wear expressions as if they've eaten a bowl of gravel and quicklime for breakfast. ."
Maybe I watched too many John Wayne movies as a kid, but I'd much rather tackle a terrorist than get naked against my will. A terrorist can only take my life (probably). My government can take my freedom (definitely).
You may ask, why don't I protest this injustice? I could be a modern-day Rosa Parks. The simple fact is, I have a profound fear of pits and pendulums. "Mr. Torquemada, there is a nervous passenger at gate 45. Please assuage his fears." As I write this, the paranoid quarter of my brain fears being placed on the "No Fly" list.
Apple Dumpling Gang don't rob trains in this century is because those passengers are free to pack Vulcan cannons for all the conductors care.
To put this into perspective, who exactly invents a machine that virtually strips people? I can only conceive that these machines were designed by middle-aged men sporting pencil moustaches who ordinarily spend their evenings watching "Toddlers and Tiaras." In terms of economic damage, think of the exotic dancers, whose livelihoods could be destroyed by these nudifiers.
But if we eliminate airport security, won't we have 9/11 every day? If you think that's the case, try riding an Amtrak train. I suspect the reason that Jesse James, Team Rocket and the
a bowl of gravel and quicklime for breakfast. Never once has one of them reciprocated my tension-induced flirtations. At least they're not nervous; they don't have to imagine everybody with their clothes off.
The best rule of thumb is to never exhibit the slightest bit of resentment no matter the degrading treatment. As "The Simpsons" so sagaciously pointed out, "The law is powerless to help you, not powerless to punish you."
Like any entrenched and armed bureaucracy, the TSA won't go away without a fight. What, then, is the solution? Other than banning air travel altogether, I suggest a serious change of presidential regime. Forget a Mormon or a Muslim president; I want an Amish one (but Ron Paul would be very nice as well).
Obermeier is a junior in history from Olathe.
Not to say that every aspect of airport security is Draconian, but even the more pleasant-looking TSA guards wear expressions as if they've eaten
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