Volume 124 Issue 114
kansan.com
Friday, March 9, 2012
Choosing abstinence
//ALIZA CHUDNOW
Despite pressure from the outside world, students uphold their decision to remain abstinen
When I first decided I wanted to write a story about students and couples who choose to remain abstinent until marriage, people looked at me like I was crazy. I received comments like. "It's only after marriage when the abstinence kicks in" or "An abstaining couple in Lawrence? Good luck." This just made me more determined to prove these comments wrong. I knew on a campus filled with 26,266 students, there had to be those who were proud to go through college without succumbing to the pressures many students face when it comes to having sex.
Rachael Ryan, a 2009 KU graduate and intern for Cru, a spiritual resource for students on campus, was raised in a home and school environment where remaining abstinent was the norm. At 13, her parents gave her a purity ring that read, "true love waits," and by the time she was a freshman in college, she still hadn't experienced her first kiss. "I remember my freshman year sitting around in my sorority. There were a bunch of seniors that were like 'Oh my gosh, you've never kissed a guy. We're going to make that happen.'" Ryan savs.
Different people tried to convince
her to "shack" at a guy's house or have someone stay the night at hers, but one thing Ryan says she was blessed with was confidence to stand firm in her convictions and not let a few people's comments get to her. "With people's reactions I felt different, but with my strong will, I felt okay with being different," Ryan says. "I wanted people to know that I was okay with who I was."
During the summer of 2008, Ryan met her now-husband Billy Ryan while interning as seasonal workers at Walt Disney World. They both maintained the same views on sex and didn't end up sharing their first kiss until three months before they were engaged. Looking back now, they both realize that they were missing a sense of intimacy by not kissing, but they do not regret their decision. "Billy is the only man I have kissed, the only man I have had sex with and the only man I will ever be in love with," Ryan says.
While Ryan never succumbed to the pressures she faced regarding abstinence, there are still demands from the outside world to stray away from this choice. Some of these pressures can be associated not only with the college environment, but also from the extreme emphasis
the media and society places on sex in general.
Christine Eckley, an External Affairs Administrator for the National Abstinence Education Association, says that because having sex is perceived as the norm, there is more encouragement to indulge in it. "College is the first time many students have been on their own, and for several, a time to determine what their values really are," Eckley said. "Most communication they receive, even from the University itself, encourages sexual experimentation. There is little to no information that points to abstinence."
Right before starting her freshman year at KU, Bridget Lamb, a senior from Exton, Penn., decided that she was going to stay abstinent until marriage. In high school, Lamb knew she didn't want to get used or hurt by guys. As she began to further explore her religion and learn more about God, she began to understand why she was making this choice. "The Bible says in numerous places that in marriage, a man and a wife become one flesh," Lamb says. "To me, that's one, a representative of your relationship; and two, the physical act of sex."
Lamb has been dating her boyfriend,
Jono Bowles, a 2011 KU graduate from Lawrence, for two years and believes that not having sex forces them to get creative with their relationship. Her favorite date they have shared was when they took the popular song "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band and acted out every line. "Sometimes it's not all about the physical things that show you love each other," Lamb says. "There is always the desire to have sex, but we made a choice not to and that is factual about us, so it is not even an option."
Being at KU for the last three and a half years has taught Lamb that everybody has their own opinions on sex. She has never felt pressure from her friends to do something she wasn't comfortable with, and she never thought her choice was weird. While she was lucky to never deal with others criticisms regarding her decision, Lamb believes that it can sometimes be hard to rid the common labels when living in a college environment. "Like drinking and blowing off class, sex is another college stereotype," Lamb says. "It takes a strong, college student to base their opinions not on what society tells them to do, but what they want to do."
PHOTO BY CLAIRE HOWARD
Making a choice: Some couples decide together to wait until the wedding night to have sex.
Did you know...
There is an urban myth, according to a KU legend, that if you graduate a virgin,the gold Jayhawk outside of Strong hall will fly away.
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any specific incident.
"We're just trying to be proactive," he said. "We want to make it safer than it was in 2008."
He said that the University student community, and the rest of Lawrence, have maintained order well in that past and no significant issues have come up during past NCAA tournaments.
Brandon Graham, bought Jefferson Restaurant, 743 Massachusetts St., in May, 2011, and bought Papa Keno's Pizzeria, 1035 Massachusetts St., in January. He said he doesn't know what operating those businesses during the tournament will be like, but he doesn't expect crowds to be a problem.
He said the ordinance shouldn't affect bars because people are already prohibited from leaving drinking establishments with open containers. And, Graham said, Papa Keno's uses plastic cups
"I give the public the benefit of the doubt." Graham said.
Squire, who assists the city in planning for NCAA tournament crowds, said the police would have a significant presence downtown during the Final Four weekend. Squire said he couldn't give specifics about how the police and city plan to deal with a large crowd, but did say a number public safety and sanitation were considered.
tain order.
"It's a no-brainer public safety issue," he said.
"With that many people, plus alcohol, bad things can happen," he said. "We want eliminate as many things as possible."
Squire said along with broken glass causing injuries, glass can be used as a danger projectile. He said plastic containers are much less likely to cause injury or property damage.
Edited by Ian Cummings
University assistant professor of political Science Michael Lynch said the Kansas caucus is more important in this election than in past elections, because the Presidential candidate has usually been determined before the Kansas caucus is held.
LUKE RANKER
lranker@kansan.com
According to a fact sheet provided by University of Kansas College Republicans' president Ashley Moretti, students who are 18 years or older by March 10 registered as a Republican before Feb. 17 can vote at Free State High School on Saturday, as long as they live in the same congressional district as the University. If students don't live in the same congressional district as the University, they can still vote in a provisional ballot at the local site. Voters should bring a valid ID, which will prove state residency.
CLASSIFIEDS 11
CROSSWORD 4
Free State High School will host the local Kansas Republican Presidential Caucus Saturday.
SPORTS 12
SUDOKU 4
CRYPTOQUIPS 4
OPINION 5
KANSAS CAUCUS FORMS OF VALID ID:
- A Kansas Driver's License or no-drivers identification card
- A concealed carry of handgun or weapon license
- A US Passport
- An employee of identification document issued by a government employer
Index
- A public assistance identification card issued by a government office
- A student identification card issued by an accredited postsecondary institution of education in the state of Kansas
Source: Kansas Federation of College Republicans
Presidential candidates Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romeny, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum will appear on the ballot.
"The general rule is that strongest supporters are the ones that come out," Loomis said.
He said students who want to vote in Saturday's caucus should expect to spend more time at the polls than they would during other elections.
Burdett Loomis, a University professor in political science, said he predicted Rick Santorum will probably be favored in the Kansas Caucus, because he has a strong support from social conservatives.
speeches supporting each candidate on the ballot before they cast their votes. He said Evangelical Christians and other very conservative Republicans are more likely to vote during a caucus, because they are more willing to take the extra time. Lynch said this demographic of voters supported Mike Huckabee in the 2008 election and will most likely support Santorum this year.
Loomis said Kansas' role in the presidential election is greater during the GOP primaries, because Kansas is a traditionally Republican state.
Loomis said Mitt Romney, who took a lead over other candidates on Super Tuesday, has a strong chance of wining the GOP nomination, but Santorum is not far behind.
Lynch said caucuses last longer than regular primaries, because voters have the opportunity to hear
contents, unless stated otherwise, © 2012 The University Daily Kansan
"Presidential politics will leave the state after Saturday," he said.
"If Santorum wins Kansas and couple other states, he can argue it's not over," he said.
Lynch also said voters who arrive at 10 a.m. will have to listen to about 30 minutes of speeches before voting. Speeches will repeat through out the voting period, and voters should expect the high school to be crowded, as there is only one caucus site in Lawrence.
Don't forget
"You aren't just showing up and voting." Lynch said.
Edited by Corinne Westeman
Tabling and organization visits for Student Senate elections will begin Monday.
Today's Weather
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Brisk winds and sunny 5-10mph
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