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MONDAY, MARCH 5, 2012
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
COMEDY
Colbert mocks male contraception research
MARSHALL SCHMIDT
mschmidt@kansan.com
Late night conservative satirist Stephen Colbert gave the University of Kansas the finger last Wednesday evening, the wag of the finger that is.
Colbert condemned KU Medical Center researcher Joseph Tash for his research in developing a male birth control pill, 50 years after birth control was made available to women.
"Folks, this is dangerous. If birth control becomes widely available to men, they might want to have a lot of sex," Colbert said. "That's why I'm giving a wag of my finger to the spermicidal maniac at the University of Kansas who developed this pill."
According to the KU Medical
Center, Tash's research is aimed at developing a compound that acts as a chemical male contraceptive.
Colbert went on to cite presidential candidate Rick Santorum's stance that birth control leads to more children being born out of wedlock. Colbert says it's like saying fire
you of being a horse molester," Colbert said.
For any male
extinguishers cause fires.
With no pause in the contempt he released upon the prospect of male contraception, although he prefaced the waggings of his finger with a disclaimer.
"If birth control becomes widely available to men, they might want to have a lot of sex."
"I never rush to judgment. I wake up early shower and shake, eat a full breakfast, then accuse
STEPHEN COLBERT
comedian
wanting to use the pill, Colbert quickly suggested they should be forced to a have a trans urethral ultrasound. Though supposedly non-invasive, Colbert pulled out a big ultrasound wand
for use at the end of the segment.
use at the end of the segment.
"You men will think twice about taking that pill, assuming you survive," Colbert said.
Edited by Tanvi Nimkar
Comedian Stephen Colbert calls out the KU Medical Center's research study on male birth control. Researchers have been working on this study for more than a decade and recently made a significant breakthrough.
VIDEO STILL FROM COLBERTNATION.COM
LAW ENFORCEMENT
Chicago police promise to respect civil rights
ASSOCIATED PRESS
OAK BROOK TERRACE, Ill. — For the first time in public, Chicago Police Supt. Garry McCarthy promised his department will never conduct blanket surveillance of Muslims like the New York Police Department did in Newark, N.J., when he was chief there.
McCarthy addressed hundreds of Muslims on Saturday at the annual banquet of the Council on American-Islamic Relations-Chicago, a civil rights organization. He said police would follow leads in criminal cases, but the department "does not and will not conduct blanket surveillance and profiling of any community in the city of Chicago."
"We are deeply committed to respecting the civil rights of all Chicagoans," McCarthy said.
McCarthy and Mayor Rahm Emanuel have tried to reassure Chicago-area Muslims since The Associated Press revealed the NYPD's spying in Newark. The AP reported last month that in 2007, the NYPD's secretive Demographics Unit fanned out across Newark, photographing mosques and eavesdropping on Muslim businesses. Earlier, the AP reported that the department was conducting similar surveillance in New York, building databases showing where Muslims live, shop and pray.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has vigorously defended the operations, saying police only follow up on allegations. But civil rights advocates and other critics say the NYPD's 60-page report on the Newark operations showed Muslims were targeted solely because of their religion.
New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly
defended his department's operations again Saturday in a speech at Fordham Law School, as about 60 protesters marched outside. Addressing New Jersey officials' complaints that the NYPD overstepped its bounds by not fully informing them of officers' activities, Kelly noted 746 Garden State residents were killed in the 9/11 attacks.
"If terrorists aren't limited by borders and boundaries, we can't be either," Kelly said. "It is entirely legal for the Police Department to conduct investigations outside of city limits, and we maintain very close relationships with local authorities."
McCarthy, who was also a top officer in the NYPD at one point, told the AP that his former colleagues in New York notified him as a courtesy that they were sending plainclothes officers to Newark, but none of his officers participated in the operation. New York police say Newark leaders cooperated with the effort.
McCarthy met privately last week with community leaders in Chicago to discuss the issue, but he hadn't stated publicly whether he supported the NYPDs tactics.
He was warmly received at Saturday's banquet, held in a Chicago suburb. CAIR Executive Director Ahmed Rehab praised McCarthy for his "heartfelt" sincerity and taking the initiative to attend, and the audience applauded when the chief said police need to work with the city's communities to prevent crime and terrorism.
"We are focused on our mission of making Chicago the safest city for every resident in every neighborhood, but we can't do it alone," McCarthy said. "We must have a positive relationship with the wonderfully diverse communities that comprise Chicago and that make this great country of America as strong as it is today."
U. S. Rep. Luis Gutierrez, a Chicago Democrat and immigration advocate, also addressed the group, lashing out at the NYPD's spying methods.
ODD NEWS
Barbara Bagley holds her sheepdog Dooley. Bagley lost her husband in a deadly car crash in which Dooley escaped and survived on its own for 53 days.
"It makes no sense and is not sensible law enforcement." Gutierrez said.
McCarthy wrapped up his remarks by saying he is a 9/11 survivor, who was in a command post near the World Trade Center until the towers fell. He told the audience that 13 of the 23 officers lost by the NYPD were personal friends.
ASSOCIATED PRESS
"And I want to tell you this," he said. "In the 10-plus years since that horrific event, which has affected me to my core, I have never once thought
Domestic dog survives alone in the wild
ASSOCIATED PRESS
RENO, Nev. — Barbara Bagley says she never gave up hope that her dog would be found alive in the Nevada desert after the animal bolted from the scene of a crash that critically injured her and killed her husband.
But the Salt Lake City woman endured plenty of frustration until her beloved 4-year-old Shetland sheepdog, Dooley, was tracked down Feb.18 after surviving 53 days in the wild on roadkill and scattered ranch water sources.
"I would think about Dooley constantly," she said. "There were TV commercials with dogs that made me think about him and cry. He's just the sweetest dog."
The Dec. 27 single-vehicle accident on Interstate 80 near Battle-Mountain, about 225 miles east of Reno, sent Bagley and her 55-year-old husband, Brad Vom Baur, to the hospital in critical condition. Their other shelte, Delaney, was killed in the wreck. Dooley ran away and vanished.
"It was a horrible day for me," Bagley recalled. "But something inside me told me Dooley was still alive out there. I wasn't 100
Bagley, 48, suffered a concussion, broken ribs, a shattered wrist and two punctured lungs. As soon as she mustered up enough strength, she turned her attention to a search for her dog in the sprawling sage-covered plains and hills of northeastern Nevada.
percent sure, but I didn't grieve for Dooley like I did for my husband and our other dog"
More than three weeks later, Bagley's spirits were buoyed after a woman reported spotting "a Lassie-type" dog near the accident scene. A subsequent search joined by Bagley turned up nothing, but a railroad crew spotted a dog matching the same description in mid-February in the same area about 15 miles east of Battle Mountain.
Realizing what Dooley could mean for her recovery, dozens of Nevada volunteers responded to a Facebook plea for help in looking for him. But the search was canceled before it began after the Jan. 6 discovery of what appeared to be the dog's remains along the interstate. The same day, her husband died.
Further searches netted a positive identification of Dooley but frustration as well because the skittish dog kept fleeing from Bagley and other searchers. Finally, Shannon Sustacha of Lamoille, who was on horseback, and a Bagley friend driving a Jeep cornered Dooley only five miles from the crash scene. The friend managed to nab the sheltie and put him in the Jeep.
An ecstatic, tearful Bagley arrived at the scene a short time later.
"Barbara got next to us and said three times, 'You think he'll remember me?'" Sustacha said. "When Barbara opened the door and looked at him, she said, 'My beautiful boy, my beautiful boy, you're home.' Oh, boy, all of us cried. I knew his adventure in Nevada was over. I also knew he and Barbara could start healing together."
A short time later, an
a short ex h a u s t e d Dooley sat on his owner's lap in the Jeep and fell asleep. He later began following Bagley around.
"I was overjoyed that I was going to have him back in my life. I think he felt the same about me," she said.
to 20 pounds. He was once spot-
ted devouring a dead oyote
"I would think about Dooley constantly. There were TV commercials with dogs that made me think about him and cry. He's just the sweetest dog."
During his ordeal, Dooley's weight dropped from 44 pounds
BARBARA BAGLEY Pet owner
dead coyote along the roadway. A long bird bone was pulled from his throat by a veterinarian.
Since then, the dog has gradually put on weight and resumedregular walks with his owner.
While Bagley is still going through the grieving process over her husband's death and
recovering from her injuries, Dooley's presence has picked up her spirits immensely.
"He's the physical and mental affection that I need to recover," she said. "I owe him so much for the hope I have now and the renewed faith I have in prayer. Dogs are so great because of their unconditional love."
Bagley, a phlebotomy supervisor at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City, also thinks her husband had something to do with Dooley's safe return home.
"It's a message from my husband who was looking out for him," Bagley said. "It was a miracle that we got Dooley."
KU's first astronaut and now professor lived his collegiate career in which KU Fraternity?
(BONUS QUESTION) Where did he set up his telescope to gaze at the Stars?