Volume 124 Issue 104
kansan.com
Friday, February 24, 2012.
Stepping on Tiger tails for the very last time
SEE INSIDE
TABLE OF CONTENTS
LOVE: QUIN MCCUE OF THE KANSAS CITY BEAR FIGHTERS The singer and guitarist bears witness to love and music.
ENTERTAINMENT: BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE LIED CENTER: Who is responsible for the seamless scene changes?
CAMPUS & TOWN: WHAT IT'S LIKE...TO EXPERIENCE POVERTY IN HAITI: Confronting the crisis first hand.
ENTERTAINMENT MOVIE REVIEW: "Safe House": Props to Denzel Washington for saving this movie from mediocracy.
CAMPUS & TOWN: WAIT, WE ARE IN KANSAS,AREN'T WE? Out of state students perspective on KU.
PERSONAL ESSAY: MUSIC AND MORAL LESSONS:
One Jayplay writer's lesson learned at South by Southwest.
Dear Michelle.
I'm a single graduate student, 27 years old, with multiple long-term relationships, all ending badly. The last two have taken a toll on me; an engagement broken off and a dating relationship producing a child.
I'm now unhappily celibate. Is this the right thing to do? Should I wait for another relationship? Will I ever find a decent woman? Is it me, or do I always pick the wrong women?
I was engaged to a younger woman at the beginning of graduate school. She kind of cheated on me a bit, forged a strong but sketchy friendship with a co-worker and ended up with him shortly after our breakup. Four months following the breakup, I pursued a fellow graduate student. After a short period of being exclusive and discussing starting a family, (she is five years older and didn't want to wait) she became pregnant. Unfortunately, she left me around 20 weeks of her pregnancy, did not allow me to see my son's birth, and I am currently fighting for joint custody.
Single, Celibate, and Wanting Love
Dear SCWL.
Let me begin by saying there is no such thing as "kind of cheating." Either you look for emotional or physical fulfillment in someone other than your partner, or you don't. It sounds to me like your ex-fiance was not in the same place as you; not prepared to be your wife. If you did go forward with the marriage, I'm certain you would be divorced by now. So, you dodged that bullet.
Now, the second relationship you mentioned ended with her leaving you, denying your presence during your son's birth, and ultimately preventing you from having joint custody of your child. This relationship was entered into quickly after the dissolution of your engagement. Did you choose the wrong woman? Yes. She had the hidden agenda during your relationship to get pregnant and have a child before it was too late. You may or may not find this surprising, but women do secure "sperm donors" by dangling the love and relationship carrot.
I can confidently say you are in love with the idea of being in love. Being celibate might be an undesirable choice at this point, but it is the right choice nonetheless. I assume you have a difficult time separating sex and love. I'm sure the moment you bond sexually with a woman, and the idea of a long-term relationship with the woman is at the forefront of your mind.
What I encourage you to do is find yourself. Until you are comfortable in your own skin and settled with your work and career, you will always be looking for a woman to "complete you" (a fantasy I never endorse — Cameron Crowe should be in jail for ever writing this line). This desperation to fall in love and have someone love you back will make you susceptible to manipulation and heartbreak. Women will continue to take advantage of you, and you will oblige.
Finish your program, settle into the next phase of your life, enrich yourself with new experiences and friendships.
bond with your child and then welcome a partner into your life. Being a whole man, a strong man in his convictions and desires, will allow a complementary partner to come into your life. Take care of yourself - mind, body, and spirit.
Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, is a graduate student in Communication Studies. She studied Psychology and Human Sexuality at KU and the University of Amsterdam.
Email questions to michelle@michellemacbain.com
From the left to the right: Sam Kovzan, sophomore from Leawood and Tansey Schoonover, a freshman from Roswell, Georgia, work on speeches for their communication class while Emily Pfeifer, a freshman from Hays, studies biology. Kovzan said they had been camping for about 30 minutes when several basketball players came out for a press conference.
LUKE RANKER/KANSAN
"I think it's pretty crazy," Colin Vipond, a freshman from Omaha, said. "Being from Nebraska, it's all about football. Now it's all about basketball. We was in shock when I even first heard about camping."
students descend on the north concourse of Allen Fieldhouse to ensure their camping group keeps its spot in line for the Missouri game. With this contest set to be the last tilt in the foreseeable future of a rivalry that predates the advent of collegiate athletics, students are desperate to secure their seat and witness history.
"It was good," Kyle Haley, a junior from Hays, said about interacting with the players. "It's different I guess, knowing they're my age. It's kind of unique that they're as popular as they are."
Normally, the camping is not as intense. But for Missouri, everyone is trying to get the best seats possible.
pushed junior forward Thomas Robinson around in a laundry hamper as the players delivered pizza.
Haley got to split a Pizza Hut cheese pizza, delivered to him by junior guard Elijah Johnson, with another camper. But pizza time is not the only time the campers can catch a glimpse of the players.
"I just know usually within the first few days people drop like flies, but only one group has dropped out ahead of us so far," Vipond said.
surf the Internet. Sometimes I sleep, if you have an early shift, but it's really hard on this floor."
"I'm looking at the gods of our school," Tansey Schoonover, a freshman from Roswell, Ga, said as students gathered to watch the men's basketball team walk to practice.
Worse than waking up early is the fear that a camper might oversleep his or her shift. In her freshman year, Maggie Hirschi, a senior from St. Louis, Mo., woke up at 5:55 a.m. for her 6 a.m. camping shift at the Fieldhouse before a game against Texas. She rushed over from her Oliver Hall dorm room but arrived too late, and her group lost its number three camping spot.
The north concourse will continue to bustle with student activity until numbers are handed out three hours before tip-off on Saturday.
"Mizzou ones just are always fun because you see the dedication students have to come to these games," Hirschi said.
Students try to maintain sanity during hours of camping. Vipond's group pitched in together to purchase an air mattress that
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CRYPTOQUIPS 4A
OPINION 5A
CLASSIFIEDS 2B
CROSSWORD 4A
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Index
Edited by Ian Cummings
Kansas without Missouri is like Batman without The Joker or the Hatfields without the McCoys. Would anyone really care about one without the other? Thanks to a need for attention from one side and a stubbornness from the other, we are about to find out.
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Both teams will continue winning basketball games. Missouri might even win a championship in the SEC. But left in the wake of Saturday's game will be a tremendous void that a hundred games against West Virginia or South Carolina could never fill.
When the game ends, win or lose, take one last mental picture of the aftermath. Because if the powerholders get their way, that memory is all your children and grandchildren may ever know of one of the greatest rivalries ever played.
SPORTS 1B
SUDOKU 4A
III contents, unless stated otherwise. © 2012 The University Daily Kansan
Edited by Taylor Lewis
Get your ticket for the Campus Movie Series at the Kansas Union. Tonight's featured film is "The Muppets."
Today's Weather
Strong winds, mostly cloudy.
Gone with the wind.