THE UNIVERSITY DARRY LANSAM
THURSDAY, JANUARY 19, 2012
PAGE 5
opinion
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Silly freshman, there is no such thing as a good night at The Hawk.
It's ski mask cold, I don't care how freaky I look. You're scared, I'm warm, I win
Stop the whoo in the rock chalk chant!!
My roommate steals all my FFA ideas.
What a bitch.
To all of the "am I the only one?" Questions: No. You're not.
Some of my classmates are comparing Twilight to Harry Potter. This is like comparing KMart to Saks.
While at the rec: "Hey, wanna do some calves?" Response: "No it's ok, I think it just walk to class tomorrow."
It's pretty sad when the difficulty level of the Sudoku is only three stars and I've been doing it for 10 minutes and haven't found one number.
My professor is nerdier and skinnier than I am. And I thought that I was a bully target in high school. I feel sorry for this guy.
Jaywalking should be legal if you do it while flipping off the oncoming traffic. Editor's Note: Rock Chalk Jaywalk!
Using my birth control pack as an ice scraper this morning. Thanks Yaz for your multi-purpose products.
collegegirlproblems.
Fear not. in two weeks classes, libraries, and the rec will all be less crowded my friends!
I don't know what I did with my swag today. Maybe I left it at home?
People making me gag on the bus from their cigarette smell vs. Kansas cold? Bring it on smelly.
Three minutes later Scratch that bring back the cold.
Thank you, FFA, for editing my post to make it grammatically correct. I'm just trying to keep you on your toes.
Editor's note: We always appreciate good spelling and punctuation!
For Wescoe: Extreme makeover:
campus edition.
It really shows the intellect behind vandalism and Ron Paul supporters when the vandal misspells Ron Paul 'Ron Rau' in spray paint on the sidewalk.
To everyone complaining about the gym being full, brave the cold, lose the iPod and hit the roads outside.
Physics Prof. doesn't care about significant digits. It's the small victories.
When I listen to "Foxy Lady" as I walk to class, I like to imagine Jimi is singing about me.
I need a GPS to find my class in Wescoe.
Now that the FFA is back I can have worthy conversations with people.
Movie ideas to win an automatic Oscar award
FILM
The fall movie season is upon us showering us with film after film trying to strike that perfect balance between popular and good that will get it nominated for an academy award. Some films like "The Muppets" look good, but lack the pretension to be noticed by the Academy; some films look like they're trying way, way too hard to win such as "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"; and some films look like they could not care less what a bunch of old men at the Academy think like "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."
At any rate, there looks to be a dearth of good movies this year, so I've decided to help the movie industry by pitching some sure-fire and, dare I say, brilliant ideas for scripts.
"Opposite Day:" This film would
oe a standard action movie up through the halfway point, where the villains have our hero dead in some evil lair. As they inject a deadly poison into his veins, one of the villain's lackeys busts in and shouts "You idiots; it's opposite day! That poison you injected just made him invincible!" Now indestructible, the hero goes around wailing on bad guys, but because it is still opposite day, his attempts to kill people actually save their lives and his attempts to save people get them killed. Also, it might have to be called "Not Opposite Day" because you can't say its opposite day on opposite day. As Albert Einstein once said, "Opposite day is confusing."
"Attack of the Werehuman": This is a standard werewolf movie, but with the roles reversed.
Instead of a human being bitten by a werewolf, a wolf is bitten by a werehuman. Every full moon, the wolf transforms into a fully grown adult human wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Also, instead of going out and killing a bunch of people like a werewolf, they go buy groceries and do their taxes. As a bonus, if it gets made within the next couple of weeks, it can be out in time for Halloween!
"Reel Steal:" As you (probably) know, the film "Real Steel" was released earlier this month. That film was about robots fighting each other or something. My film "Reel Steal", however, is a group of criminals pulling the largest movie reel heist in history. They can even steal movies about people stealing things for that extra level meta-theater stuff people love. And because filmmakers love movies about movies, the Oscar is pretty much in the bag with this one.
"The Final Final Destination:" The Final Destination movies follow a pretty basic plot: someone has a vision of people dying, they save them, and Death hunts down said people because the circle of life must be maintained. My film would open with the entire Earth
being destroyed by an asteroid, only to reveal it is just the dream of a young man. He wakes up and rushes to a NASA observatory to warn them about their approaching doom, giving humanity time to send off a rocket to destroy the asteroid. Then, Death begins hunting down those who were saved, but instead of a small group of attractive young people, it's literally everyone on the planet.
So that's my pitch. I'm not saying those are the four best ideas anyone has ever come up with, but, if you ask me, those are the four best ideas anyone has ever come up with.
Lou Schumaker is a senior in film and media studies from Overland Park
SCIENCE
Illustration by Ryan Benedick
Journey to the Antarctic
One hundred years ago, mankind reached the south pole
December 2011 and January 2012 mark the centennial celebration of mankind's reaching the South Pole. During the time known as the Heroic Age of Antarctic Exploration, Roald Amundsen, a Norwegian polar explorer, and Robert Falcon Scott, an English naval officer, independently reached the south pole on Dec. 14, 1911 and Jan. 16, 1912 respectively. Scott and Amundsen were some of the most audacious and adventurous men to grace their times.
In September 1909, Amunsen received news that Robert Peary had reached the North
Pole. While A m u n d sen was officially on a scientific research expedition, his hopes of being the first to reach the
Even after surviving frostbite, malnutrition, and isolation, they still had to battle giant crevasses in the ice crust.
North Pole were shattered. In severe debt, Amundsen secretly ended his arctic expedition and made his way to the south pole. At this time Scott, unknowing of Amundsen's personal mission, was organizing the Terra Nova expedition to Antarctica. Scott would only find out he was in a race from a troubling telegram he received in Melbourne, Australia from Amundsen. As a courtesy, Amundsen simply stated that he was heading to the Antarctic, but Scott knew why.
At first, the journey was relatively uneventful, but soon both parties met with devastating obstacles. Even after surviving frostbite, malnutrition, and isolation, they still had to battle giant crevasses in the ice crust. These bottomless cracks in the surface ranged from
a few inches wide to large enough to swallow a complete sledge and dog team instantly. Often, they were covered by a thin sheet of ice impossible to see in the blizzard conditions and contained giant ice spikes. Once within roughly 340 miles of the pole, the teams
met with a towering mountain range with peaks up to 15,000 feet.
Scott, having extremely little dog handling experience, opted to bring Siberian ponies, motorized sledges,
and only a few dogs. None of the animals or motorized sledges would make it through the first part of his expedition. By the last leg of Scott's journey, he and his men would have to physically drag 200 pounds of supplies on each sledge in knee deep snow up a 10,000 foot glacier. While Scott was very bold, and very smart, his lack of experience would seal his fate. Amundsen's firsthand experience in the arctic was essential to his success. He managed to make it to the pole by starting with four sledges at 13 dogs each. Both would use a combination of compasses and dead reckoning, a navigation system similar to Euler's method, to determine their final position.
Amundsen soon reached the
South Pole and found a significantly easier trip home. Scott was not so lucky. When Scott reached the pole, he was met with a Norwegian flag and a note from Amundsen stating the date of his arrival, 33 days prior to Scott's. With down-turned heads, the team marched home, but ultimately starvation, exhaustion, and weather took its toll on their minds and bodies. No one from Scott's team made it home alive. Scott may have been ill-prepared, but he would become a legend for his heroic attempt. While Amundsen underhandedly struck out for glory, he still made it to the pole first and managed to make it home alive.
The South Pole and Antarctica has a long history of scientific study. Both Scott and Amundsen conducted many experiments concerning the continent prior to their quest to reach the pole. As part of this long tradition, University of Kansas researchers have visited the continent several times. Dr. David Besson, of the Department of Physics and Astronomy, has visited the South Pole multiple times to work on the IceCube neutrino observatory as well as with members of the KU Instrumentation Design Laboratory to construct a wind and solar power station for the Askaryan Radio Array neutrino observatory. Additionally, Dr. Mark Ewing and researchers from the Department of Aerospace Engineering recently returned from Antarctica where they were performing flight testing of the Meridian Unmanned Aerial System.
Daniel Kennedy is a sophomore in Aerospace Engineering and Astronomy from Kansas City
LITERATURE
Novel discusses humanity's flaws
Set in various far-reaching corners of New York City as the Vietnam War draws to a close, "Let the Great World Spin" is a wonderful and energetic novel in which author Colum McCann reveals the perplexities of human behavior when confronted with tragic realities.
McCann's story-telling approach is a rare one. Rather than using the conventional main protagonist, linear story line and single narrative point-of-view, he divides the novel into chapters each centering on a different character, with each one more different than the last. The story features Irish Catholic
brothers, drug-addled prostitutes, a wealthy and neurotic mother whose son died in Vietnam, an artist in a deteriorating marriage and many more.
There are more than ten dif-
Vietnam War, a horrific accident and a courthouse trial. McCann seems to end each narrative at a climax or moral dilemma when the reader is most invested in each character, abruptly moving on to the next one. At its core, "Let the Great World Spin" is an homage to New York and,
terent protagonists throughout, yet McCann makes it work seamlessly. The diverse characters are what really make the story breathe. While most
in particular, the 9/11 tragedies. Petit's tightrope walk across the Twin Towers is the main anchor of the story, and the persevering spirit of the characters is reminiscent of post-9/11 New York. McCann explained that he wanted to capture everything that gives the city its personality, from the rich and lonely to the poor and desperate. The story shows that no matter one's background or circumstances, different tragedies test human resolve in
similar fashions.
"Let the Great World Spin" is an excellent, quick-paced read that buzzes with energy and emotion. It is a unique, sharply written novel offering vastly different personalities
McCann explained that he wanted to capture everything that gives the city its personality, from the rich and lonely to the poor and desperate.
of the characters have rather unique lifestyles, their decision-making and internal dilemmas make each of them relatable to the reader is some way. One of the more interesting characters is Corrigan, a devoutly religious Irish immigrant who sees hope in everyone and everything. He lives a minimalist life in a decrepit apartment helping prostitutes and volunteering at a nursing home, all while trying to hold on to his faith in God.
Allofthecharacters'narratives are woven together by a mix of historical and fictional events including the real-life tightrope walk of Philippe Petit, the
within the same setting and events. Like many other great novels, "Let the Great World Spin" uses ambiguity, as it may restore
or damage the reader's faith in humanity depending on perspective. I came away from this story with a greater appreciation people's ability to embrace their realities and learn from their shortcomings. So, if you're looking for an inspired read to kick off your new year, I highly suggest picking up "Let the Great World Spin."
Josh Moreland is a Junior in Accounting from Lee's Summit
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