2B - THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
JAYPLAY
THURSDAY,FEB.14,2002
HOROSCOPES
1ay'sBirthday(Feb.14).
Today's Birthday (Feb. 14).
An increase in your bank account could cause a change in your friends.
You'll meet new people, and others may be left behind. The ones who can't keep up and are jealous of your success are not a great loss. Be gracious, and you'll inspire others to follow your example.
Aries (March 21-April 19). Today is a 7.
Tomorrow you'll be raring to go, ready for combat,
sure of yourself. Today there are a few old
doubts rising to the surface. You'll be stronger if
you stare them down.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). Today is a 7.
A barrier has been overcome, partially by accident. Something that was in the way no longer is.
Prepare to follow through on something you've been contemplating doing for years.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). Today is a 7.
Whomever you work for should be in a generous mood. Don't wait any longer — make that plea for a raise before somebody else beats you to it.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Today is a 7.
Tie up all those loose ends. Tidy up your work-
space and congratulate yourself on a job well
done. And hurry up about it. There's a new
assignment coming soon.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Today is a 7.
As you finish paying bills, you may find there isn't quite enough to go around. In order to put a little away for the future, you may have to ask someone to wait.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Today is a 7.
One of the problems with sharing the load is that you can lose some control. Don't get bent out of shape if somebody disagrees with your methods or procedures. There may be a better way.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct.22). Today is a 7.
In the middle of the project, it always looks more like a mess than a masterpiece. Push to get as many loose ends tied up as you can. Somebody important wants to see what you've done — tomorrow.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21). Today is a 7.
You're gaining objectivity. Look at what's going on in your life as if it were happening to somebody else. From that perspective, you may see something you didn't missed.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.19). Today is a 7.
You may find yourself uncharacteristically lost in fantasy, living in a dream world. It's a mandatory part of setting compelling goals.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Today is a 6.
Your preparations should be almost complete.
Run the last few errands, then find a place where you can sit and relax. Center yourself for the coming action.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Today is a 7.
You've won a few rounds and lost a few. You should feel pretty good about it, though. All in all, you've done quite well. Tomorrow's a good day to ask for a raise.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Today is a 7.
You're at the plan where hard work is
required. This is how the profits come in, so don't
complain. Don't worry if you run into something
you don't know how to do. Tomorrow's good for
learning.
Sex is OK form of revenge on some occasions
There are usually reasons behind every sexual encounter. I'm horny. My girlfriend or boyfriend is horny. I love you, I want you, I NEED you. You're way too hot to pass up. I'm really drunk and lookin' for some action — you'll do.
But, sometimes an urge to do the forbidden dance isn't based on love, lust or even alcohol — it's based on revenge.
Ah, revenge sex. Quite simply it's sex to get back at someone for something, be it your own jilted feelings, a bad day or a bad lover. There's also the hardcore revenge of the "just one more time" sex with a former — or soon to be former — boyfriend or girlfriend. But, while revenge sex and "ex sex" may sound like the same thing, they are quite different.
"Ex sex" usually happens because feelings between two people — especially the sexual ones — are hard to get over. Sure, your former love may be abrasive, rude or unfaithful, but he or she still is attractive. And he or she knows just how to do certain things — sexual things — that blow your mind. While these encounters can suck, especially the day after, you weren't out for revenge on your former flame.
But revenge sex is sex to get revenge. This can come in the form of giving your target sex like they have never had before that they will remember for the rest of their lives, or getting with your ex's best friend for a rockin' night ... or two. It might just be getting on that hottie who never gave you the time of day.
Ohhh, revenge sex is cold. And it's dirty. But sometimes cold and dirty is what you need. Just think about the time in junior high school you might let your ex watch as you made out in the back of the bus with a new fling.
SEXCOLUMN
Meghan Bainum
mbainum@kansan.com
Now, however, you're in college. And yes, the stakes have gotten higher. Sometimes—and this sucks but it's true—revenge is what is needed, just a little taste of justice. And, although sex is a sacred act that should be committed only between two people who are very much in love, a little non-love influenced sex is better than giving your ex's entire wardrobe to goodwill or selling several prized possessions.
In the end, if revenge is needed and sex is a handy way to do it, go for it. Just realize that, other than your close friends, anybody who hears of your act might think you're quite the mean, dirty person.
And, unless the person in question did something so terrible it can't even be printed in this paper, never, never have sex with someone just to give them a STD, or to get them or yourself pregnant. That simply goes beyond cold and dirty into the realm of gross, terrible and trashy.
And be ready — one day you'll be the one getting revenge, the next you could be the one that is revenged on.
Contact Bainum at mbainum@kansan.com
Make each day Valentine's Day
I have never quite understood Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is traditionally the one day of the year we set aside for romantic love. We are told need we buy flowers, candy or stuffed animals for our sweethearts to show affection. We journey to restaurants for candle-lit dinners, or we go and see a romantic movie at the theater. We are taught from the time we're born to do something special for Valentine's Day.
But I don't know why. Why do we all bow to the whim of this one heralded day?
RELATIONSHIPS COLUMN
Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those "Valentine's Day is just a commercial ploy" kind of people. In fact, I love just about everything associated with Valentine's Day. I love the cards, seeing couples everywhere and hearing from my friends about what their significant others did to make the holiday special.
I enjoy Valentine's Day, and I'm willing to wager most other people do, too even those who claim it to be the harbinger of commercial evil.
No, I am not naive enough to believe Valentine's Day contains no commercial ties. From the red colored Hershey's Kisses to the special Valentine's Day Scooby-Doo boxer shorts, commercialism is a dominant force of the holiday.
So why, if it is not for the commercial aspects of the holiday, do I think Valentine's Day a bit silly? It's because I think once a year is just not enough for what Valentine's Day is supposed to represent.
I think Valentine's Day should be a surprise holiday that someone somewhere is having all the time. Think about it: doesn't it feel good to find a card, flowers, candy or some other gift your beloved has surprised you with just because?
James Manning jmanning@kansan.com
Imagine if these surprises were happening all the time.
One of the strongest cohesive forces in a relationship is a partner making his or her beloved feel special. While Valentine's Day is one such outlet, don't let it be the only one.
And one last warning to all the people out there who "don't have time" or "don't have the money" to do something for Valentine's Day: get real. If you love or even remotely care about the one you're with, then you can surely find some way to let him or her know how you feel.
Make a homemade meal, make your own card or write a poem. Even if you suck at those things, they will be appreciated.
And don't just limit Valentine's Day to your significant other. If someone else is special in your life, like a family member, a good friend or a great co-worker, do a little something to let them know you care, too.
Work to make every day a Valentine's Day for someone.
Contact Manning at jmanning@kansan.com.
Potluck party redefines notion of holiday love
By Summer Lewis Kansan staff writer
La Fiesta de Amores sin Conscunion — "party of love without consumption"— is at 6:30 p.m. at The Mother Earth Collective, a house at 1305 Tennessee St., that provides meetings for many Lawrence groups, house resident Elizabeth Ayer said.
The idea for tonight's gathering came from a discussion Ayer and her roommates had about the idea of love, she said.
Lawrence residents and University of Kansas students will offer a Valentine's Day celebration alternative tonight with a potluck party at the Mother Earth Collective.
"We were talking about Valentine's Day love and what love means to us," she said. "We have been reading a book called All About Love by Bell Hooks, which has us thinking about what culture has done to love."
She said they were discussing that love in America has been co-opted by consumer culture.
"We want to celebrate spending time with our friends and community."
"To express to someone that you love them, you have to buy them something or take them out to an expensive din-
community.
Ailecia Ruscir
Lawrence Graduate Student
She said that culture gears love toward heterosexual couples.
"You can love family, friends and community, which is as important as your girlfriend or boyfriend." Ayer said. "We wanted to celebrate love as we see it without having to play into the dominant roles that are shoved on us by the media and our society."
Ailecia Ruscin, Lawrence graduate student in American studies, said the party was an alternative to having a date with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
"We want to celebrate spending time with our friends and community," Ruscin said. "Also, we want to redefine how people look at love."
Ayer said there would be all types of food, but mostly sweets and lots of chocolate.
"Everyone is welcome," she said. "You can bring a dish to share or just your wonderful self."
The Mother Earth Collective has a collection of books and open hours, and houses meetings for groups including KU Greens and the Industrial Workers of the World.
Call 864-0578 with any questions or comments.
Contact Lewis at slewis@kansan.com. This story was edited by Sarah Smarsh.
Kansan Classifieds... Say it for everyone to hear 20% discount for students
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tickets/available day of show in the hawk shop, kansas union, level 4