THURSDAY, MARCH 13, 2003
SEX
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN = 7
Talk with roommates to gain privacy
You've been there before: You and your partner are rockin' and rollin', when suddenly you hear the familiar sound of keys rattling in the door. Your roommate is home early from a party, and you and your partner are half naked and just getting started.
What do you do? On the one hand, you don't want to make your roommate feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, you and your partner both have roommates and little personal time.
Anyone who chooses to live with others needs to forewarm roommates when planning to entertain guests, said Dennis Dailey, professor of social welfare who teaches the popular class, Human Sexuality in Everyday Life.
"Kicking out your roommate is unacceptable." Dailey said.
Sometimes, underlying problems exist between roommates that need to be addressed first when trying in conflict resolution, Dailey said.
COMMENTARY
"In roommate situations when one has a partner and the other does not, one roommate may envy what the other one has and become bitter and hostile," he said.
Lindsey Hodel
lhodel@kansan.com
Anyone who chooses to live with others needs to forewarm roommates when planning to entertain guests, said Dennis Dailey, professor of social welfare.
Another situation arises when one roommate is not considerate and neglects to consider the needs of the other roommate, Dailey said. Forewarning roommates when sexual relations might occur is necessary to remedy this problem.
Encounters can be especially awkward if you live with a member of the opposite sex. Even having your partner over to spend the night can sometimes cause your roommate of the opposite sex to become uncomfortable. So, make sure to keep an open line of communication.
In a few cases, especially when you and your roommate have separate bedrooms, it's possible to continue your lovemaking even after you and your partner are no longer completely alone.
For instance, simply moving to the floor can drastically reduce the sound of noisy bedsprings. Playing music can create a more romantic atmosphere while shielding moans and groans from your roommate's ears. If you're still too worried about noises escaping, you and your partner could also switch to oral or manual sex, which both tend to make less noise than penetration.
But if you're the type who likes to be loud and wild, moving outside could offer lots of possibilities for freedom. Find a private camping spot, a secluded space near the lake or a field out in the country.
As long as you find a secluded spot
where no farmers will come and point a gun at your head for trespassing, finding a place in nature could allow you and your partner to screw until the cows come home without having to worry about the roommates interrupting.
If you must stay indoors, putting a sock or a rubber band on the doorknob can signal to your roommate that you're getting it on. But I don't recommend relying upon this method if you want to keep a working relationship with a roommate. I know from personal experience that coming home at 2 a.m. and finding the "sex band" on the doorknob is no fun.
The real key to maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with your partner and a healthy friendship with your roommate is open communication. If you want exclusive sex rights to your dorm room or apartment, plan those times based on your when your roommate will likely be gone. In dire situations, try setting up a couple of hours a week when you and your roommate have exclusive rights to the space.
Model is a a St. Louis, Mo., senior in journalism.