THURSDAY,FEBRUARY 20,2003
LIFESTYLE
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN = 7
Internet provides sexual alternatives
SEX
Patrick Ross
pross@kansan.com
If your best friend said, "I'm going out on a date with this guy I met online," what's your immediate response? Do you try and warn her away? Do you envy her luck at finding someone in this day and age who actually wants to go on a date? Do you think she's "copped out" and given up on real-world romance?
The Internet is a huge part of our daily lives. Many people log onto places like match.com, gay.com and the late, great sparkmatch.com to meet other people in the area who have similar interests. And there are even folks who look online for sex. Sometimes they even find what they're looking for.
"Surely not!" you say. But, let me assure you, it's true. The Internet enters our sex lives in ways that we never would have imagined 10 years ago. Let's have a show of hands; how many of you have never seen a naughty picture on a computer screen? I'm betting not very many hands are up in the air.
According to a survey of almost 54,000 people, a whopping 55 percent have downloaded a pornographic picture. About 13 percent have had sex with someone they met online and a little more than 36 percent have masturbated while online. Survey.com, a market research firm based in San Jose, Calif., specializes in Internet
market research and conducted the survey.
Social Welfare Professor Dennis Dailey, instructor for Human Sexuality in Everyday Life, maintains that the Internet is an incredible source of information. When sex education is lacking, young people turn to the Internet for answers to their questions about sex, Dailey says.
"For some young people, it's curiosity; for some people, it's a source of sexual stimulation," he said. "There's a lot of stuff out there, some good, some bad."
So what are the benefits and dangers of involving a computer in your sex life? First, we should look at porn. Wipe that smile off your face, I mean first we should consider porn, sheesh. Searching for, downloading and watching porn can be awfully time-consuming. I remember when static dirty pictures were enough to stimulate me. But
as I got older, and more technologically advanced, I downloaded my first porn video and there was no turning back.
Not only are video files much larger and, therefore, slower to download, there comes a time when you've seen so many of them that it's tough to get new material. A video gets less erotic with every viewing unless it really gets you off. However, there are benefits to virtual porn: it's usually free, you can choose to watch only what turns you on and it might give you ideas for better sexual treatment of your future bedmates.
Next, we look at finding sex on the Internet. There are two kinds of sex available on the Internet, actual sex and cyber sex. Cyber sex falls into one of two categories, you can type visually-erotic prose back and forth, which sometimes results in some creative spelling and grammar errors when one hand is used for typing and the other for sexual healing, or you can make use of a Webcam or two and actually see each other masturbate.
I suppose the type of cyber sex in which you engage, if any, should be based upon the way you get turned on. If you like naughty stories, go for typing. If you're a picture-person, invest in a Webcam and log onto Cuseeme. Cyber sex is anonymous,
easy and 100 percent disease free (except perhaps, carpal tunnel syndrome).
Finding actual sex on the Internet is a slightly different matter. Sure it's exciting and there's no pressure to pay for dinner, but it can also be dangerous or awkward. Anonymous liaisons arranged over the Internet are not at all uncommon these days.
I won't say I've never "hooked up" online, but I will say I prefer good old-fashioned flirting first. There are dilemmas to consider when setting up sexual encounters online, such as: Your place or his? Is she going to steal all my money? Will he really look like his picture? Is she really a girl?
Surely you can see the problems when seeking sex in cyber space. I've had and have heard of great sexual encounters that old America Online helped make possible, but I've had and heard of just as many that were creepy, scary, strange or otherwise unpleasant.
The Internet is a tool. Sometimes it is used as a sexual tool. I hesitate to assign adjectives like good and evil to inanimate objects and currents of electricity, but using the Internet to spice up your sex life is something to consider carefully.
Ross is a Topeka freshman in journalism.
TODAY
■ Singer/Songwriter Showcase feat. Patrice Pike & The Black Box Rebellion / Kristie Stremel / Corinna Fugate , 8:30 p.m. at the Grand Emporium, Kansas City
■ Living Daylytes at Davey’s Uptown, Kansas City
■ Gutbunny / Isolated Fields / Burning Mirror at The Pyro Room, Kansas City
■ Mark Reeves, 8 p.m. at Westport Coffee House, Kansas City
■ Vibralux at the Replay Lounge
■ Sunset Black / With Rescue Breathing / Thousandiare 7 p.m. at El Torreon, Kansas City
■ Maggie Drennon Band, 10 p.m. at The Jazzhaus
■ Esau / Animated By Sound at The Brick, Kansas City
■ Nameless#Headman, 9 p.m. at The Cup and Saucer, Kansas City
■ The Not Yet Quartet, 9 p.m. at the Paradise Café
■ Kelpie / *(the color blue) / Laredo / Hook and Ladder at The Bottleneck
TOMORROW
■ The Used / Finch / My Chemical Romance / The Movielife, 7:30 p.m. at the Beaumont Club, Kansas City
■ Confunkshun, 7 p.m. at the Grand Emporium, Kansas City
Kansas City
■ Tim Mahoney, 10 p.m. at The Jazzhaus
■ Pocket Space / The Doctor, 8 p.m. at The Bottleneck
■ Morning Forty Federation / The Grand Fiasco at Davey’s Uptown, Kansas City
■ Dorsey Williamson, 9 p.m. at the Westport Coffee House, Kansas City
■ Ester Drang / The Elevator Division / Nameless#HeadMan, 7:30 p.m. at The New Earth Coffee House, Kansas City
■ The Schwag at the Uptown Theater, Kansas City
■ Cyclamatic at The Hurricane, Kansas City
■ Mark Gottschall, 6 p.m. at Pachamama’s
■ Howard Iceberg and the Titanics, 9 p.m. at The Cup and Saucer, Kansas City
■ Snakebite Orphans / Bob Log III at The Brick, Kansas City
■ Soulitify, 10 p.m. at the Guacamole Grill, Kansas City)
SATURDAY
■ Candy Snatchers / The Throttlers, 10 p.m. at Davey’s Uptown, Kansas City
■ Right Between The Ears, 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. at Liberty Hall
■ Zose, 8 p.m. at the Beaumont Club, Kansas City
■ The Blamed / The Billions / Spy Glass Blue
The Colemans, 7:30 p.m. at The New Earth Coffee House, Kansas City
■ Lil’ Ed & The Blues Imperials, 9 p.m. at the Grand Emporium, Kansas City
■ Full Feature / 8th Wave / Ario, 9 p.m. at The Bottleneck
■ Terrance Blanchard at the Gem Theater, Kansas City
■ Taken in Vain / Say Your Prayers / Falterstep / The Searing Hour, 7 p.m. at El Torreon, Kansas City
■ Starcandy, 10 p.m. at The Jazzhaus
■ No Lessons / Poppleton / Tanner Walle, 9 p.m. at the Granada Theatre
■ Swing Canyon, 8 p.m. at Abe & Jake’s Landing
■ Platinumized Recordings Promotion Party at The Pool Room
■ Matt Ward, 9 p.m. at the Westport Coffee House, Kansas City
■ Jumbo’s Killcrane / Old Canes at the Replay Lounge
■ Majaedus / Trip Hazzard, 8 p.m. at YahWeh Cappucinno House, Kansas City
■ The Michael Maher Band, 9 p.m. at Stu’s Midtown Tavern
MONDAY
■ Mofro / Dj Not a Dj at Abe & Jake’s Landing
■ SUBMISSION with Inferno De L’Impur / DJs Annabel Evil, Federal Bureau of Mind Control and Sacrifice at Davey’s Uptown, Kansas City
■ thesisistermaia, 10 p.m. at The Bottleneck
TUESDAY
■ Mike Finnigan & The Phantom Blues Band, 8 p.m. at the Grand Emporium, Kansas City
■ Electric Lettuce / DJ Senior Osgood, 8 p.m. The Bottleneck
WEDNESDAY
■ Mike Finnigan & The Phantom Blues Band, 8 p.m. at Liberty Hall
■ Thee Shams / The Hefners at the Replay Lounge
■ Von Hodads at the Grand Emporium, Kansas City
■ Matt Buff’s Comedy Show w/ Tri Point Paradox, 8 p.m. at The Jazzhaus
■ The Two Dollar Shoe Revival Story at Abe & Jake’s Landing
■ Substance / Majaedus / Dv8tr at America’s Pub, Kansas City
■ Tripping Billies / Rick Unrugh / Taner Walle at the Granada Theatre
SUNDAY
■ CANCELLED Impotent Sea Snakes, 9 p.m. at The Bottleneck