OPINION
University Daily Kansan, July 10, 1985
Page 4
The University Daily KANSAN
KANSAN
Published since 1898 by students of the University of Kansas
The University Daily Kansan (USPS 605-640) is published at the University of Kansas, 118 Sherman Hill Flat Lawrence, Kan. 66045, daily during the regular school year, excluding holidays and summer break. Second-class postage paid at Lawrence, Kan. 66044. Subscriptions are mail for six months or 272 acre in Douglas County and $1 for six months and $3 a year after. Registered with Kansan Postmaster. Send address changes to the University Daily Kansan, 118 Shafter-Flint St.
News staff
Jeff Craven's Editor
Michael Tott Managing Editor
Grieva Lazario Editorial
Andrew Hartley News Editor
John Eisler Committee Editor
Susanne Shaw General Manager, News Advisor
Business staff
Brett McCabe ... Business Manager
Mark Schick ... Retail Advertising Manager
Eric Scheck ... National/Campus Manager
John Oberzan ... Sales and Marketing Adviser
KIPPS questions
in November 1983, the University of Kansas joined the Kansas Integrated Personnel Payroll System. As soon as that move was made, at least 350 KU employees did not receive their paychecks. Up to 1,100 additional employees received checks for the wrong amount.
Even after a month, more than 100 employees had not received paychecks.
The employees that missed their paychecks have been paid. In addition, they were reimbursed for lost interest and for whatever penalties they incurred when they were unable to cover their checks. All seems to be fine, but there are still questions that must be answered.
KU is now off the system at the request of the state Department of Administration. June was the first month that KU was entirely off the system. The University now uses the Alternate Regents Payroll Process, a system designed specifically for KU.
Apparently, KIPPS itself was not at fault. KIPPS was not designed to handle a payroll system as complicated as KU's, so the KU payroll should never have been put on the system in the first place.
Now, even with KU and its complicated payroll off the system. KIPPS is being pushed to the limit. Either the whole Sperry-Univace computer that KIPPS runs on must be replaced or it must be updated to have the capacity for an expanded KIPPS.
Whatever the case, it is going to cost the state a lot of money. The mistake of putting KU on KIPPS also cost the state a lot of money, as well as a lot of headaches for everyone involved.
KU's payroll problems have apparently been solved, but the question remains: Why didn't the state computer operators know that KIPPS wouldn't be able to handle KU's complicated payroll? Their mistakes were difficult to fix and gave the impression that the state can't properly run its expensive computer systems.
Ugly wallflower
This thing has gone too far.
Back in April, the Lawrence City Commission asked the owner of Big Bob's Carpet to repaint the side of his building, which had three wide, obnoxious stripes painted on it.
The city said that the painted wall was in violation of the Lawrence sign ordinance and that the stripes constituted a sign. So something had to be done. Simple enough.
But not to Big Bob's and its owner, David Elyacher, who has left the sign standing in glorious beauty for all of Lawrence to behold. Now in mid-July, the stripes are still as wide and repugnant as ever.
To the commission's credit, it has tried to work things out with Elyacher and settle it without going to court. But the time has come for action and the city has taken it.
Elyacher seems committed to leaving this landmark on his business. After all, it has brought him a lot of publicity and probably some business from people sympathetic because the big, bad commission is throwing its weight around.
"If 10 people had come into the store and said, 'We don't like it, we're offended,' I would have repainted." Elyacher said. But obviously, the commission cannot be counted, even though it is supposed to be the voice of Lawrence.
Mr. Elyacher, you have made your point and have received more than your share of publicity from this silly sign. Get the unsightly thing repainted and improve the appearance of Lawrence's downtown district.
Needed increases
The University of Kansas has received a significant vote of confidence from the Board of Regents in the form of a large increase in the Regents budget proposal for fiscal year 1967, as compared to KU's budget for fiscal 1986.
The Regents proposed a budget of $121.3 million for KU. That is a 10.3 percent increase from the fiscal 1986 budget, which was $109.9 million. The increase of $11.4 million is the largest increase proposed for any of the seven Regents schools. The 10.3 percent increase is also the largest percentage increase proposed for the schools.
That means that the Regents have recognized the importance of keeping the University as one of the top state universities in the nation.
That status has not been as solid recently as it should be, mainly because of problems in keeping faculty salaries in line with other universities. Although the problem may not be solved, it at least has been addressed.
The proposed budget contains a 7 percent increase for faculty salaries, which couldn't be needed more.
Also included in the proposed budget is $2.98 million for program improvements and new programs at KU. That means more money will be available for graduate teaching assistants' stipends and for distinguished professors.
These actions still need to be approved by the Kansas Legislature, but they are a positive sign of commitment from the Regents.
Faculty salaries at KU must become, and stay, competitive with other top public schools. If our salaries are not competitive, the University will lose its best professors, along with its reputation that we are all so proud of.
Next best thing is no phone at all
Whoever said Alexander Graham Bell was such a great guy, anyway?
That so-called revolutionary invention, the telephone, has become a necessity through the years, but I'm sure Bell had no idea what he was doing this country into when he said, Mr. Watson, come here, I want you."
True, calling is the next best thing to being there, but that's before the end of the month when you get a bill that reads like the appendix of an
But the bill is only the final tightening of the screw on the consumer. From minute one, getting a phone can be as painful as an eyed soyl of food.
First, you have to get the line. After a trip to the phone company, they give you your very own number before you can book it, new days before you can book it,
Before you get out of the store, though, you have to decide whether you want Touch-Tone, the dreaded dial, Call Waiting, Speed Calling, Call Forwarding or a number of other technologies. The technology has made available for us.
Then you have to pick out the model of phone you want: desk-top.
wall phone, Mickey Mouse, woodencase, one with a chalk board, a princess model or the infamous Trimline telephone.
With the phone comes more decisions. Should you buy or lease? Should you go with the inexpensive model from Radio Shack or stay with the Bell models? And how long should the cords be? No matter how much you pay, they can be two inches short when you really need it to stretch.
Somehow, the people behind the counter aren't too surprised when your checkbook pen runs out of ink. They gladly offer yours for your service. The telephone people are always thinking of you.
So you finally get home with your
new toy after making more decisions in one day that you've made in three years at college. You have that feeling in your stomach that comes after finishing a tough final. You need a strong drink.
But you have a phone, although it won't be operational for at least a couple of days. It does look good, it's. It's a great conversation piece.
You finally get the line going, dialect and all, then sit and wait for it to ring. Of course it doesn't because no one has your number. So you have to know the name and tell their new number, knowing that most of them will lose it.
Then the onslaught begins. The second day you have the phone, it begins to ring off the wall and the questions of "This isn't Pizza Hut?" leave your stomach with a sick feeling. Don't be afraid. Find that your number differs from the Hut by only one digit. So to fight back, you begin taking orders.
Next come the waves of telephone salesmen offering everything from coupon books to long-distance services. It seems as if they all call at a
bad time, such as right in the middle of "The Cosby Show."
Then you have the other traumas of the phone, such as why your girlfriend didn't call, or worse yet, why she did她. Or you call home collect calls that you don't accept the charges. It all gives you a great sense of satisfaction.
Finally, the day of reckoning comes. Your first bill is thicker than the Eudora phone book. Charges, surcharges, state tax, local tax and other fees. Your checkbook again and remember you still haven't replaced the pen.
You wonder whether it's all worth it. But you have people calling you about jobs, so you can't just send the thing back. And you really like hearing her on the other end saying she misses you.
There must be a better way. Maybe the government should offer a nationwide WATS line for everyone to use. And every home and office would automatically be furnished with a phone. No more bills, no more service charges, no more hassles.
I wonder if Reagan would consider it. I'll give him a call and check it out.
Insulting a Norwegian is not easy
During a recent group discussion, a guy sitting a couple of stools down raised an interesting question:
"How come Norwegians get off so easy?"
Get off what so easy?
"Well, I'm an Italian. And at one time or another I've been called everything from a dagto to a wop to a spathetti-bender. right? And you are part Polish, so you have been called a Polack or a dumb Polack, right?"
Once or twice, yes.
"Every ethnic group I can think of has got some kind of nasty label. It is an American tradition. So how come there are no any kind of name for the Norwegians?"
We all thought about that for a while. Then a little beer drinker said: “You’re right. I can’t think of any kind of slar of a Norwegian. I’m kind of sure there are more denatural lugs hung on us than anyone else.”
"How do you know that?" asked the Italian.
"No, there aren't," said a tired-looking liberal nursing a scotch. "The blacks have the most. Then come the Jews. And after them, it'a a toss-up between a half dozen groups for third place."
"I read about a study a university professor made," the liberal said.
"He spent a couple of million dollars in federal funds compiling a list of racial and ethnic epithets. When he finished, he found out that whites have something like 192 ways of insulting blacks. Gentiles have about 25 ways of insulting Jews. After that comes the rest of us. We all have got one way or another of insulting each other."
"Yeah, but did he find a slur for Norwegians?" asked Big Warren, the bartender.
"No, come to think of it, I don't think the Norwegians were on the list."
"See," said Johnny Shack, the
literary "they somehow golf off the
"Wait a minute," said Charlie, who is Irish. "I theard a guy called a dumb Norwegian once."
"That doesn't count," said the
liberal. "You can call anybody a dumb this or a dumb that. It's not the same as being called a wop or a spike or a jig or a mick. No, somehow the Americanization process. They have no slur of their own. I wonder why?"
"I'll tell you why," said George, who had been listening intently. "I'm of Norwegian ancestry. We have no fear of this. We're nice. Everyone likes us."
That offended everybody at the bar.
"What do you mean, you are nice?" asked Charlie, who is Irish. "We're nice too, but people call us micks."
"Yeah," said Harry, who is Jewish. "You don't think I'm nice?"
"Sure, you are nice," said George the Norwegian. "But you all get into some kind of controversy. Or you get into wars. When was the last time you heard a Norwegian being controversial? You have never even heard of a Norwegian voting bloc, have you? Name me one crooked Norwegian alderman. We keep a low profile."
"Knute Rockne did it," said the liberal. "Everybody liked Knute Rockne, so you've had a good image."
... AND IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, MR. GROMYKO,
THAT'S A TRIPLE WORD SCORE!
74512
"That's right," said Johnny Shack.
"And Viking movies. Every movie about Italian soldiers shows them as short losers. But Vikings are always big, handsome blind winners. Hell, the Vikings haven't won a war in a century. We lose one war and everybody makes jokes about us. It isn't fair."
Everyone glared at George the Norwegian until he bought a round.
"You know what you are, George?" asked Johnny Shack. "You are a noogin."
"What the hell is a noogin?"
"It's a defematory word for Norwegians. I made it up I don't know what it means, but it sounds awful."
"I like it," said Charlie who Irish. "I have some Norwegian inlaws. They call me a mick Now I can Iam joggers. It will drive them up the wall."
"Well, I don't like it," said George the Norwegian, downing his drink and standing up. "Nobody has ever called me a noogin before. I don't have to take this kind of abuse." And he walked out.
"He's too sensitive," said Johnny Shack. "I've been called worse than a noogin."
"Yeah, but noogin does sound bad," said the liberal.
The door opened and George the Norwegian came back in.
"All right," he said. "If you promise never to call me a nagain again, I'll tell you what they call Norwegians."
"I thought there was no word," said Charlie who is Irish.
"There is. I just didn't want to tell you. But if you want to insult a Norwegian, you call him a 'herring choker.' "
"You're kidding." said Johnny Shack.
"No, it's true," said George. "It is because Norwegians eat so much herring. I think the Swedes started eating salmon and ice-cream and Swedes always insult each other."
"What do Norwegians call Swedes?" asked Charlie who is Irish.
George shook his head. "There is no word. Dumb Swedes are the only in-
teresting."
"All right," said Johnny Shack.
"then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. It is only fair."
"How about a sweepin,' said Charlie who is Irish
"That'll work," said the liberal; and the swegins! I wasn't abiding by them.
"What are you?" asked Johnny, Shack
"Me?" said the liberal, heading for the door. "I'm a WASP. I'm just a bystander."
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
To the Editor.
In your editorial "Let Freedom Ring" (UDK, July 3), you rightly beamed the captivity of the seven Americans still held in Lebanon who could not enjoy their freedom on this July 4; you admonished your readers not to forget the actions of those who hijacked the TWA flight from Athens and killed one American passenger; and you added that we also "can never forget the actions of the terrorists who brought death to innocent people, including six Americans, at a cafe in San Salvador." While nothing can lighten the pain that all of us feel about the death of all of these men, I for one deeply regret that you, as those in our administration, try to give the impression that what happened in Beirut and what happened in San Salvador were identical terrorist acts. They were not.
In Beirut, the kidnappers hijacked a civilian passenger airliner en route
from Athens to Rome, forced it to land in Beirut, and carried out their acts of terrorism there against civilian tourists. In San Salvador, our government is supporting a brutal, cruel regime in a country where any opposition is silenced by death squads that kidnap, torture and murder men, women and children in the dark of night. And four of the Americans killed there were Marines, on duty at that country. Now I am aware that we are being told that the present government is "moderate," not involved with the death squads. But by count of the Salvador's own church and of our own embassy there, some 40,000 civilians have been assassinated by these death squads in the past few years, and they are still being assassinated today. How democratic, how moderate is a government that so far has not arrested and brought charges against even one single member or leader of the death squads for the brutal murders of its
It goes without saying that as you who wrote the July 3 editorial, I also deeply regret of any American and, as a matter of fact, of any human being, whether he be a U.S. diplomat kidnapped and murdered by terrorists in Italy, a black youth shot down in cold blood by a policeman in South Africa, or a young girl kidnapped.
people? The six Americans in the cave in San Salvador were caught, so to speak, in the crossfires of a civil war against that government.
raped and murdered by the contras in Nicaragua. But as horrible as the death of any American killed anywhere in the world is and must be to each and every one of us, we must be aware of the difference between Beirut and San Salvador in the streets of San Salvador on these two occasions.
Harry G. Shaffer professor of economics and of Soviet and East European studies
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