OPINION
University Daily Kansan, April 10, 1985
Page 4
The University Daily KANSAN
Published since 1889 by students of the University of Kansas
The University Dalyan Kansan (UNSP 605-640) is published at the University of Kansas, 118 Staffer Flint Hall. Lawen, Kansp 6045, daily during the regular school year and Wednesday and Friday during the summer session, excluding Saturday, Sunday, holiday and final periods. Second-class postage paid at Lawen, Kansp 6044 Subscriptions by mail are $1 for each $2 a year in Douglas County and $18 for six months or $35 for seven months. Student postage paid at Lawen, Kansp 6042 PostMASTER Send address changes to the University Dalyan Kansan. 118 Staffer Flint Hall. Lawen, Kansp 6045
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More questions
The Student Senate Finance Committee's failure last week to reach a decision about financing Gay and Lesbian Services of Kansas reflects an atmosphere of intolerance on campus and raises serious questions about the student activity fee and the way it is allocated.
and the way it is annotated. GLSOK requested $728, or about 1/2 cents from each student each semester, to pay for advertising and office and phone rental during the 1985-86 school year.
phone rental during the 18:00-6:00 school day. Last week, after more than three hours of discussion, the committee was unable to reach an agreement on GLSOK's financing and sent its recommended budget for non-revenue code groups to the full Senate without a recommendation for GLSOK. The committee, in effect, passed the buck to Student Senate, which will meet and consider the issue tonight.
Some students have said that the Student Senate should consider a group's morality when deciding its financing. Relying on the Bible, they have set themselves up as judges and found GLSOK lacking in moral fiber and, therefore, underserving of funds.
underserving of rules. They should be careful. Student Senate rules and regulations prohibit the allocation of funds to any group whose primary purpose is the promotion of any organized religion or any religious philosophy. That written rule implies an unwritten one that should prohibit Student Senate from using religious philosophy to determine a group's financing.
Morality aside, GLSOK is no different from the other non-revenue code groups for which the Finance Committee has recommended financing. It provides information and organizes events for people who are interested in a particular issue or activity.
Perhaps students should not be required to contribute money to groups whose ideologies and activities they don't support. Perhaps all the non-revenue code groups should be self-supporting, as student body president William Easley and vice president Jeff Polack have suggested.
GLSOK showed that it could do without Student Senate money when private donors came through with funds for GALA week
But GLSOK's ability to raise funds should set a standard for all non-revenue code groups and should not be used as another reason to discriminate against GLSOK.
Build or bilk?
The government's action comes as public support for the Reagan administration's military buildup is diminishing because people think the Pentagon pays too much for its goods and services.
General Electric, the nation's fourth-largest military contractor, was indicted recently on charges that it falsified claims and deceived the government about a nuclear warhead system.
While we fully support the Defense Department's crackdown on the military contractors, we still wonder why it took so long to act. High costs, poor quality, late deliveries and excessive profits have been in the news for years. If any consensus exists between military doves and hawks, it is the common belief that the contractors are bleeding the taxpayers dry.
taxpayers cry. Until recently, Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger did no more than slap the contractors' wrists as taxpayers footed the bill for $400 hammers and jet fighters with cracks in the tail. During the Nixon administration, Weinberger earned himself the nickname "the knife."
Judging by the amount of corruption and "gold-plating" in the Pentagon, a machete may be more appropriate.
President Reagan twice has received electoral mandates to strengthen the national defense. These mandates, however, do not and should not extend to the unjust enrichment of a few private corporations and individuals. Their actions are not only unethical and probably illegal they are unpatriotic.
It is high time for the administration to stop merely chastising government-enriched behemoths such as General Dynamics. McDonnell-Douglas and Lockheed, and hit them where it hurts — in their wallets.
Also, more criminal actions should be filed against corporate executives who are stealing from the public purse.
In any event, the time has come for the Reagan administration to take off the kid gloves. If the indictment against G.E. is a portent of what is to come, we say bravo — and may the heads roll!
The University Daily Kansan welcomes letters to the editor. Letters should be typewritten and double-spaced and should not exceed 300 words. They should include the writer's name, address and phone number. If the writer is affiliated with the University, the letter should include his class and hometown, or faculty or staff position. The Kansan also invites individuals and groups to submit guest columns. Columns and letters can be mailed or brought to the Kansan office, 111 Staunter-Flint Hall. The Kansan reserves the right to edit or reject letters and columns.
LETTERS POLICY
Friend has golden fleece ready
The clock has just marked the golden anniversary of my introduction to the real world.
Yes, just 50 hours ago I lost my innocence. You see, I had asked a friend for financial advice. Having spent several years in college learning about Plato's forms, Augustine's confessions and Twin's racial prejudices or lack thereof, I figured that I had better start educating myself about the REAL real world. (Get lost, Plato!)
As long last my friend called; by the time I got off the phone I was a changed man. Now I am truly prepared to graduate and leave the protected halls of academe. Let me relate the momentous phone call:
my friend, I have a golden opportunity for you."
My friend, an alumus, who upon entering the real world had made himself a gold mine on opportunities for investment, greeted me with those words when I answered the phone.
"Yes," he said that day on the phone. "I have truly found the goose that laid a golden egg."
"I surely hope so," I said. (Somehow I remembered to use proper grammar, even as greed coursed through my veins.)
As my friend spoke, his excitement over his discovery increased. "This idea will be as good as gold! In fact, there will be as big a rush to this investment as there was to California and Alaska!"
"However," I interjected, wishing to calm him down. "how do you know
that it won't be just fool's gold? How do you know that your green thumb — er, gold finger — isn't misleading you?"
"No problem at all. This idea is so certain to bring you riches that I feel like I have the Midas touch." (Obviously my friend's avarice had destroyed his grammatical training.)
Perhaps you, the reader, have noticed something peculiar in my friend's language, as I have recounted it. Indeed, that day I noticed it, too — and I thought that I had a
So, having decided to play along with him, I asked, "OK, what nuggets of advice do you have for me?"
clue as to the nature of his investment proposal.
"I'd prefer not to reveal any details at this time. If I did, and somehow others found out, they might beat us to it! Just trust me with your money; after all, I'm my friend, aren't I? Remember the golden rule."
"Sorry, old buddy, but when it comes to my money, I have to make sure that I'm dealing with the 'Sold' dancers, not some gold diggers."
My friend, upon his realization that I was serious about knowing his plan, said. "So you want to know what my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is, huh? I'll tell you — but first, make a guess."
"I'll bet it's black gold."
"No."
"That's understandable, I guess. Even the sheinks would agree that this is not the golden age for investment in oil. But what is your idea? Maybe something on Golden Pond, or some other piece of real estate?"
"No — I don't bow before that golden calf!"
"Well, if your great investment
idea is not that golden oldie, what is it?"
"it is something so great that I feel like an Olympian for having thought it up."
“Ah.” I thought. Here was the moment of truth! At long last he had given one tooth too many — and I was ready to just what his investment idea was!
I said, "feel like an Olympian, eh? When I get rich off your idea, I'll best to send you a — heh, heh — gold medal."
"How about a silver medal? It'll be worth more to me."
"That's my idea to invest in silver! I hear it's going to rise in price picky! When you're rich, just call me quicksilver."
"Silver? But all those words you were using - I thought you were hinting at gold!"
"Oh, that stuff! Just clichés I think of when I think of money. You've been in college too long. Who cares about language or grammatical training? What counts is the money you have, not the words you use."
Obviously not. However, I learned from that conversation that a few words did have meaning: All that glitters is not gold.
Would-be detective can't crack case
Playing detective is a part of a newspaperman's job. So, I was intrigued when a Chicago named Jim walked into the street with a knife.
While driving his car that day, he had seen a door of a car ahead of him open slightly and a black purse fall out. The car kept going, speeding up a ramp leading to an expressway.
Jim stopped and picked up the purse. He opened it and was stunned to find an envelope stuffed with money -- singles, fives, tens, twenties and a few hundred-dollar bills. It came to $1,200.
He also found several letters from Poland to a woman at a Chicago address. And, issued to the same woman, was a Polish driver's lily.
Jim, who wanted his name with pride, "did just like this woman last night," he added.
Her address is on the letters. Why not go there yourself?
"I just did. It's an apartment building, but nobody answered her bell."
Sure. It shouldn't be that hard. If Woodward and Bernstein could make history, I ought to be able to track down one Polish woman. So, that evening, I picked up a friend who reads and speaks Polish and showed him the contents of the purse.
Why not turn it over to the police?
Not unless we're offering a scholarship. Is there anything else?
He read the letters from Poland and said, "She has a daughter, who is staying with her parents. She's getting good grades. Does that help?"
"Here's some kind of shopping list
Let's see, a fifth of Seam, a bottle
"Well, she's from Poland and maybe she's overstayed her visa and is here illegally, so I don't want to bring the police in it. Could you find her?"
of Smirnov, Gordon's gin, Johnny Walker . . .
MIKE
ROYKO
Syndicated Columnist
That list might explain why the purse fell out of the car. Lucky she didn't fall out.
We headed for the woman's address, an apartment building in the part of the city that has become the center of the city's huge Polish
immigrant population Her name was on the doorbell, but there was no answer. So we rang other tenants
A man on the second floor said we woke him up and should drop dead. A man on the third floor said he didn't know her either, but he said that a column I wrote last week stunk. We tracked down the landlord.
"She doesn't live here anymore. She really wasn't a tenant before, either. She lived with a girlfriend, who was a tenant, but they both moved out."
We tracked down the landlord.
A further search of the purse turned up a business card for a nearby tavern and another card for a Polish restaurant.
At the restaurant, the pierogis and kielbasa were excellent, but none of the waitresses, cooks or the bartender recognized the picture on the Polish driver's license.
"Why you want her?" a plump waitress asked.
Her eyes gleamed and she said,
"You leave purse with me. If she
We told her about the contents of the lost purse.
come in, I give her." Immigrants learn the American way fast.
We moved on to the tavern. A guy named Chester said, "She looks familiar. Yeah, I think I remember her. Uh, are you buying a round?"
Obviously, he had watched old detective movies. We bought a round for Chester And another. Pretty soon everybody in the place said they thought they might know her, so we bought a round for the whole joint.
Finally, Chester said. "Yeah, I remember now. I think she tended bar in a place down the street."
The next morning, I phoned Jim, the good Samaritan, and suggested that I give the purse to the cops. Not that they'd have any more success than I did, but at least they'd have the purse if the woman reported it missing.
After a few more neighborhood bars failed to turn up leaves, we found ourselves in an all-night coffee shop examining the final clue in the purse. It was a couple of tickets for a musical, with a receipt.
missing
So, two young detectives - a man
"I think this is a real tough." I said. "I've run down all the leads. Hooed all over the Polish neighborhood. Dead ends."
and a woman in blue jeans — came
by for the purse.
The young cops nodded and said,
"We'll do what we can." A half hour later, they called and said, "We found her. She's on her way in."
I went to the police station to meet her. She didn't speak English. Her boyfriend did, but he'd been consuming that shopping list and was a bit blurry. However, he managed to explain that the woman didn't trust banks and credit unions, saving the pulse had fallen out of her eyes because of a faulty door.
"The receipt for those theatric tickets. The address was on Anderson Street, right? well, there's no Anderson Street in Chicago. So we figured that somebody in the theater office misunderstood the phone order and wrote down Anderson instead of something like Henderson.
I asked the cops how they tracked her down so quickly.
"So we looked for that name on Henderson, and bingo, there he was in the phone book. He's the woman's boyfriend. They live together. That
rnat's the trouble with the young cops today. They don't watch enough old detective movies.
GUEST COLUMNS
The University Daily Kansan invites individuals and groups to submit guest columns. Columns should be typewritten and double-spaced and should not exceed 625 words. They should include the writer's name, address and phone number. Columns can be mailed or brought to the Kansan office, 111 Staafleur-Flint Hall. The Kansan reserves the right to edit or reject columns.