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APARTMENT GUIDE 4
ROOMMATES (CONTINUED FROM 5)
Photo Illustration by Libby Napoli/KANSAN
Don't let tension build up between you and your roommate. It's best to talk about your issues right away in person rather than to allow problems to intensify or leaving notes and messages.
BY ALICIA BANISTER
abanister@kansan.com
Whether living with a best friend or going potluck with a complete stranger, finding a compatible roommate can be tough.
Living with someone who leaves notes on the kitchen counter or sends messages on Facebook, rather than talking about issues in person, can create problems between roommates.
Laura Gibson, Talmage sophomore, said her roommate, a friend of six years, sent her Facebook messages about the cleanliness of their house and left a note complaining about brownie mix instead of talking to her about it. Now, Gibson feels differently about living with a friend.
"If you're worried about not getting along with a friend, then definitely don't risk it," Gibson said. "It's a lot easier to sever ties with someone you're rooming with pot luck than it is to lose a friend you've had for years."
Gibson assumed living with an old friend would be a wise choice, but it backfired.
But if people can't agree about living arrangements with a friend, how can they choose the best person to live with?
One option students have is the roommate finder through Web sites, such as www.roommates.com, which offers matching services.
The Exchange, 3100 Ousdahl Road, tries to make the process of finding a roommate less painful by providing a roommate matching service. Students answer survey questions about their personal interests, cleanliness and preferred noise levels.
Kelli Scheuerman, property manager at The Exchange, placed students together by using this matching system. She emphasized the importance of roommates' being honest in their answers.
"Often people have a different perception of how clean and quiet they are than the perception of others around them." Scheuerman said.
"If you are dirty, say it. If there is someone in view of your responses on the form, such as a parent, make sure you come in and update your form with responses that most accurately reflect your lifestyle."
Leaving issues unresolved could negatively affect living with other people and could possibly snowball into bigger issues. Spela Gasperlin, St. Louis senior, experienced this when living with two other girls.
"The first month of living together was a lot of fun," Gasperlin said. "We all went out together, and things were going really well."
"Then the tension built up and both sides kind of started doing things to piss the other side off without outwardly doing things," Gasperlin said.
Gasperlin's relationship with one roommate became tense, though, because she was closer to her other roommate.
Finding a compatible roommate involves a process, no matter who a person decides to live with.
Scheuerman suggested keeping an open mind when searching.
"Don't set out to look for someone perfectly similar," Scheuerman said. "This is an opportunity to develop as a person and grow from embracing diversity."
Leaving notes for a roommate about problems may not be the best way to go about resolving conflicts. If issues surface with a roommate, try dealing with the problem right away instead of letting it build into something bigger than it should be. Gibson suggested becoming comfortable enough with roommates to discuss issues.
"When problems arise you should just talk about them face-to-face," Gibson said. "Keep things in perspective. Don't make mountains out of molehills, or brownie mix, and just generally be accepting."
Edited by Heather Melanson
APRIL 23,2009