KANSAN
2, 2009
Opinion
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
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I know that someday before I graduate from this wonderful place, I will go tumbling down any set of the perilous Wescoe stairs at least once.
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
I am ridiculously excited for the five consecutive hours of sleep I'm about to get!
I miss "The Wild Thornberrys": OK, so we're not that average. And between you and me, something amazing happened — and now I can talk to animals. It's really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same
Is it bad when I think some of the Kidz Bop songs are better than the originals?
I was walking past this girl today who pulled this hedgehog out of her bag, I was like, what the heck?
--hours of class.
If anyone finds a black patent clutch, please turn it in to KU Public Safety. I will give you money and a big hug.
I just saw someone recklessly drive a motorcycle while smoking a cig. I'm pretty sure you're asking to die.
The guy in my group is a real a-hole. He thinks he is so cool but he never bathes. Google Earth can even spot his dandruff!
Having both knees and and an elbow wrapped in bandages makes me feel pretty damn much.
--hours of class.
The glass walls of the engineering computer lab can make you kinda paranoid if you are trying to dance to ABBA at 7 a.m.
I wish I had my boyfriend's metabolism.
I am going to find the person who invented car alarms and surround his house with cars with overly sensitive alarms.
Roommate: You are snoring and your phone is continuously ringing. Though it is amazing that you are in perfect harmony with your phone, I would appreciate it if you would shut the hell up so I could sleep. Thank you.
My roommate just locked me out of our room. I went to the bathroom, which is right across the hall, for less than three minutes. I don't think that requires locking the door and then leaving for four
EDITORIAL BOARD
Sexual Assault Awareness month offers reminder of tragic statistics
According to the Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Abuse,
PAGE 5A
approximately 683,000 w raped in the United States every year, which equals to 1.3 women being raped every minute. It is Sexual Assault Awareness month, and this statistic is just one of many reasons KU students should participate in the events being sponsored by various University groups.
Sexual violence isn't a vague idea that affects only women of certain races or ages. It isn't something that happens only in big cities or other countries.
Sexual violence takes many forms, including rape. It has left its mark on all genders, religions, ages, races, classes, but it primarily affects women. It happens in this community, in Lawrence, and on this campus. The goals of this month, of the Commission on the
Status of Women, of The Emily Taylor Women's Resource Center, and of GaDuGi Safecon are to raise awareness and to prevent
the point home that not only is sexual assault still an issue in our society, but that it is also something that is oftentimes ignored," said Tanner Willbanks, the Sexual Assault Awareness Coordinator for CSW. "This month is a chance for advocates and survivors to stand up and refuse to be swept under the rug any longer."
To get involved, students can participate in the Pantyline Project which features students voicing their opinions about sexual assault on underwear art. They will then be displayed on lajhawk Boulevard to reach as many
sexual violence.
people as possible.
Outside of this month students should continue to be aware and combat sexual assault.
"This means reporting any activity that constitutes assault. It also means changing people's thought patterns about sexual assault and rape," said Willbanks. "People need to understand that rape and sexual assault are never laughing matters."
Students can also contact student senate officers to ask them to work toward promoting safety and awareness by increasing lighting off campus.
While you were reading this editorial, at least one woman was raped in the United States. There have been a series of connected rapes in Lawrence that started in 2004. Students should join the fight to prevent the statistics from increasing.
FOOD
Caitlin Thornbrugh for The Kansan Editorial Board
I don't have a problem! It's all of you who have a problem!
IAMFS FARMFR
Red hot chili peppers
The first time I thought I might have a problem was in August 2007 when, my body enveloped in sweat and vision clouded by white, I curled up on my best friend's girlfriend's bathroom floor, face pressed against the vent in a desperate attempt for air.
Capsaicin in peppers can be deliciously habit-forming
I would later learn that the container's label advises against using more than a drop of the solution, but not before dousing my plate in at least one to two teaspoons of Chili Addict's Revenge sauce. My chili addiction had soared to such heights that the warning label likely wouldn't have halted my intentions anyway.
Actually, addiction is not the proper term for my affliction — a December Economist article said it was at most a craving — but it is hereditary. As far back as my memory can take me, I can recall my dad dropping habanero peppers into pots of chili or dousing burritos and pork rinds with fiery red sauces. Son would mirror father over the years, as I'd dabble in the intoxicating delights. A Blazin' Buffalo Wild Wing here, some Tabasco there. But I really started using in high school and have no
intentions to stop, only to go a little further and faster.
It feels good to type that sentence, great to reread it and even better to say aloud. See chili peppers make food simply taste better — helpful for students able to afford only less-than-delectable eats — and also provide an adrenaline kick and an authentic natural high. Drugs are bad, m'kay, and alcohol treats you well one minute and hits you in the gut the next, but capsaicin allows you to let go of the steering wheel (figuratively) whether you're in public or at home. Capsaicin is the substance found in chili peppers as well as in pepper spray — only one of which is advisable to ingest (your call.) It is responsible for the sweat, tears and elevated heart rates one encounters when consuming chilies. And it also gets you high, quite a few steps above runner's high and minus the
jail sentence of LSD High.
It also seems, through the passage of time, that our generation has acquired a higher tolerance of capsaicin. With chilies in chocolates, jellies, soy sauce and just about every aisle of the grocery store, far more products are kicked up a notch than in any point of history. This explains the dually delicious and dangerous cocktail my buddy's mom deemed "The Devil's Spit." It involves silver tequila, ice, half a lime and half a jalapeno. It can also involve either bragging rights and respect from your pals or the worst day of your life afterward.
In a way, our higher tolerance for these delicacies provides hope that this tolerance is spreading to other arenas: race, sex, class and others. As one generation begets another, previous reservations sometimes lose their luster or even dissipate. And although jalapeno toothpaste or habanero contact solution is not yet a reality, I can indeed tell you I have been to the mountaintop and I have seen it.
Montemayor is a Mission junior in journalism.
STUDENT LIFE
Kansan columnists win prestigious writing award
Two University Daily Kansan columnists were presented with
were presented with the nation's highest honor this past weekend in Washington, D.C. Michael Pope and Ryan Snyder received the F.A.K.E.—or Faulkner Award forKickass Excellence
Recently, I was granted the rare opportunity to interview the comedy duo face to face...to face. I pulled through the golden, guarded entryway of their stately manor outside Lawrence, which sits on 100 acres of the area's finest crabgrass.
Around back, I found the two lounging in an Olympic-sized Jacuzzi. His golden chains glinting in the late-afternoon light, Snyder waved a gilded scepter in the direction of a nearby tree stump, and I took a seat.
Ryan Snyder: You may speak.
teacher. Sure. You may speak Ima Reporter: Um, thanks. I can see you guys certainly have your hands full at the moment, and I just wanted to thank you again for allowing me to interview you.
Michael Pope: Think nothing of it! Would you like a glass of champagne?
RS: Water? In a hot tub? What do you think we are, peasants?
IR: But that's water from your hot tub.
IR: How silly of me. I won't even bother asking why you're both speaking with British accents. When did you two first discover that you made such a successful combination?
MP: Well, after we saved the world from a global memory-loss pandemic in the summer of 2008, we decided that we should take some time off and channel our greatness through the written word.
IR: Memory-loss pandemic?
I don't remember anything like that.
MICHAEL POPE & RYAN SNYDER
MP: Well, we couldn't save everyone.
IR: So what does it feel like to win a F.A.K.E., the most esteemed and totally real award in literature?
RS: It's great, I guess. To be honest, I can't even remember what it looks like. We decided to give it to Dan Brown because we knew he never win one himself and we felt sorry for him.
IR: That's extremely generous of you. What do you think about your critics' calling you "egotistical, juvenile, chauvinistic non-talents?"
MP: I'd agree with the first three accusations. As for the latter, I'd say that their mothers certainly thought I was pretty talented. In the bedroom!
IR: What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to break into the competitive world of collegiate journalism?
RS: Give up. You'll never be better than us, and if you try we will destroy everything you love
Unfortunately, the interview was cut short as their butter hurried over and explained that a mutated, 500-foot-tall Nicholas Cage was terrorizing downtown Tokyo and the UN requested their aid. Pressing a glowing red button, they bid me farewell as a large glass dome closed over them. As their lacuzzi rocket ship entered the stratosphere, I could not help but smile. God bless those two young men.
Pope is a Kansas City senior in English. Snyder is a Leawood senior in English.
Celebrating Earth Day on the National Mall
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Hula-hoops, hippies, protesters, green groups, PETA and the Flaming Lips defined downtown Washington, D.C., this past Sunday. The annual Earth Day on the Mall celebration was the event of the day for all those embracing a "green" life.
For me, it was an opportunity to spread the message of the organization I currently intern for, The Wilderness Society, at our fancy booth. We handed out free buttons with the phrase: "I Like It Wild!" Needless to say, this generated much enthusiasm from high school students.
For the past eight years we have had little response to the phenomenon of global climate change, while we continue
But the point of Earth Day on the Mall was not to see how much free stuff you could gather (although that was fun); the point was bringing awareness to global climate change and our need to address the degradation of our environment.
tearing up our land with oil rigs and investing in dirty fuels. The message on the Mall this weekend called for a new generation that supported carbon-free renewable energy, a ban on offshore drilling and comprehensive legislation that addresses all climate change issues.
Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass.) spoke to a crowd numbered in the thousands about his proposed climate bill that would provide for a cap-and-trade tax on carbon emitted by unaccountable utility providers, an investment strategy for wind and solar renewable energy and a funding program to create green jobs. It's policy like this that will end our dependence on foreign oil, not more drilling in sensitive areas that are on the verge of reaching an ecological point of no return.
What's next for the "green" revolution? Well, EPA just released its official report acknowledging the harm of greenhouse gas emissions on humans — that's a first step.
- Rachel Yancey is a senior from Topeka interning in Washington, D.C.
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kansan Editorial Board are Brenna Hawley, Tara Smith, Mary Sorick, Keates Hayes and Dan Thompson.