Opinion
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
HARTZ: REAL PROBLEM IN ALCOHOL ISSUE NOT FAMILY PRIVACY ACT
THURSDAY, APRIL 9,2009
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--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
I love Flintstone Chewable Vitamins. Judge me.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
A five-page paper on why the French Revolution failed may be thus summarized: Robespiere was a doucheban.
So since Corbin's hot water is not working, it is OK for me to say that I have successfully participated in a polar bear plunge?
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
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I wish I were hot enough to just drop out of school and become a trophy wife.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
Really, Obama? Paying people to "volunteer"? Selfless service has never been so rewarding.
I just found my fish hiding in the shot glass in his bowl. Good fishy
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
W. W.T.S.B.D.D? What would the sexy bus driver do?
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
So I voted today, and I didn't know who either school board candidate was, so I wrote in my government teacher from high school. Only now did it occur to me he lives outside the school district.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
Facebook just asked me to join "Sorority Life." Facebook, I would rather eat poo with a hobo's feet. But thanks anyway.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
I'm going to name my child Jimbob because one first name just isn't enough.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
If I wanted to see green eggs I'd read a Dr. Seuss book. Do NOT eat Spangles' eggs.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
I have an unhealthy addiction to "I'm on a boat"... still.
My CHEM 124 professor referred to George Washington as G-Dub. How great science can be in your life at 9 a.m.
Fashion note: Guys should not wear pajama pants to school, even if they are Guinness paiama pants.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
Sorry that I can't help — I've already reached me "stupid people" quota for the week.
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
Bear Grylls is like a walking nature encyclopedia.
Les Stroud would stomp Bear Grylls in a fight, or a survival-
--a split ticket, because ultimately the three coalitions have all presented platforms centered upon
I've been rubber-cementing for about three hours now and there's a good chance I'm starting to get high off of it. Oh, work.
EDITORIAL BOARD
Kansan endorses Heilman, encourages split-ticket vote
The three coalitions running with a slate of candidates for Student Senate this year,
Envision, Students of Liberty and United Students, have essentially the same priorities, and because individual senators rarely vote based upon party lines after election season, it matters less which coalition achieves a majority than who fills the key leadership positions and what feasible objectives they pursue. KAIPOP
Based upon these criteria, Mason Heilman, Lawrence junior and presidential candidate for United Students, is best suited for the role of Student Senate president, because he brings the most experience to the table. This year, he has served as the Student Executive Committee chairman, and last year he led the Student Rights Committee, demonstrating that he is capable of effectively handling the responsibility entailed in important leadership positions.
KANSAN'S
OPINION
That said, students should vote
the common themes of environmental sustainability and senate accountability. It does not matter which coalition has the most members elected, but
These two goals should be the top priority for Student Senate and the student body:
which policies are implemented after the election is over.
1. Accountability to students:
Currently, the student body has no good record of how its senators vote throughout the year. Student Senate has electronic "clickers" that record how each senator has voted, and they should use these to record every vote by every senator every time. These votes should then be posted online in an accessible format. This idea has been adamantly advocated by Adam Wood, the presidential candidate for Students of Liberty, and he deserves due credit for his effort'
HOW TO VOTE
Go to
www.ku.edu/~election
on April 15 and 16.
2. Environmental sustainability: Beyond superficial measures such as generating power at the Student Recreation Fitness Center with elliptical machines, Student Senate should focus on implementing cost-effective, energy-saving measures such as installing double-paned windows in campus buildings. Envision's plan to work with KU Endowment to create a long-term sustainability fund, as some smaller, private universities have already done, is one realistic way to begin.
EDITORIAL CARTOON
Some would say the vote is priceless, but in this case we know exactly how much it is worth — $417.70 in fees each semester. Students should vote for Mason Heilman, but they should vote split-ticket.
Dan Thompson and Caitlin Tornbrugh for the Kansan Editorial Board
American smokers face a difficult quandary every day: help fund children's health care, or help oneself? Bill, above made the correct choice.
JAMES FARMER
EDITORIAL BOARD
Administration mishandled response to shooting threats
A lack of communication regarding multiple unsubstantiated threats to Monday's planned Student Senate debate sowed confusion and anxiety among Senate candidates and Kanye staff.
that threatened a shooting in relation to the event. Rather, at the last minute, the administration moved the debate to Woodruff Auditorium, where security measures, including a walkthrough metal detector and a handheld detector were put in place. The Kansan, along with KUJH and KJHK, had
The University administration's response, or lack thereof, to the threats was unacceptable. When such a threat of imminent violence is received by University officials, they should make every effort to clarify the situation to the potentially endangered students and organizations. KAN OP
In a meeting early Monday, administration officials chose not to cancel or postpone the debate despite the phone calls
KANSAN'S
OPINION
If the threat was serious enough to inspire the installation of a metal detector outside the debate, it was serious enough to inform the students involved in the debate.
coordinated the planning of the debate and had already opted to move it inside Stauffer-Flint Hall because of the possibility of inclement weather. After learning of the threats, Brenna Hawley, Kansan editor-in-chief, decided to cancel the event, given the uncertainty surrounding the situation.
The need for metal detectors indicated the substantive nature of the threat, but during the course of the day, administration officials and University Relations employees
repeatedly rebuffed Kansan reporters and refused to explain the exact nature of the threats, the need for the metal detectors, or the reason for keeping debate participants in the dark.
The campus police department would say only that there was an "unsubstantiated rumor," and Marlesa Roney, vice provost for student success, delayed answering The Kansani's questions until hours after the debate's scheduled time.
The University's response to these threats proved to be inadequate and disconcerting in light of the recent incidents of gun violence near campus and the spate of mass shootings around the nation during the previous month.
The administration's intent may have been to prevent instilling fear in the student body, but the result was the exact opposite.
Dan Thompson for The Kansan Editorial Board
STUDENT LIFE
We shouldn't let our education go to waste
Pope: HEY YOU GU—
Snyder: Shh! Quiet,
you fool! Do you want "it"
to find us?
Pope: Sorry, Um, hey, everyone, you've caught us at a pretty bad time. Graduation is looming, and we're hiding from the dreaded Responsibility Monster.
Snyder: We should be safe inside this old septic tank. Ooh! I think these corn bits are OK to eat!
Snyder: Someone needs to step up as a voice for the students and see that they will be adequately prepared for the soul-crushing realities they will face after graduation. Changes need to be made; here are our suggestions:
Pope: You know, being waist-deep in excrement reminds me of my college career. I had to wade through all those useless required courses, struggling to keep my GPA afloat, all in pursuit of a GPA of paper with my name printed on it. Hey, look what I found! It's a Liberal Arts degree!
1. No Foreign Languages:
1. No Foreign Languages:
Twitter is taking over.
Students shouldn't waste time with dead languages, but learn to craft their thoughts to fit nicely within 140 charac
2. No more maths:
Math is evil. Think about it — if numbers didn't exist, this country wouldn't be drowning in debt. Anything above elementary calculation is useless — the only math students should concern themselves with is in counting the point spread of the latest men's basketball victory. Wouldn't you rather spend your time computing Tyshawn Taylor's projected season scoring average instead of dwelling on your life's being worth negative-$i$ dollars? Rumor has it there's a certain young redhead with key experience in this field that would be the perfect instructor.
3. Humanities 2.0:
Ask anyone currently taking
MICHAEL POPE & RYAN SNYDER
a philosophy course whether what they've learned has benefited their lives in any way. No? Didn't think so. Philosophy is simply the study of a bunch of dead guys' opinions, and if they really knew anything, they wouldn't be dead. A much more practical use of time would be to learn how to blame your shortcomings on others, kind of like blaming a college curriculum — instead of your own laziness and ineptitude — for not preparing you to properly adjust to life after school.
As a substitute for actual English courses, students will learn techniques for surviving in the real world with no applicable skills to speak of. Lectures will cover proper construction and maintenance of cardboard housing, locating clean and safe overpasses to huddle under, and the many ways in which rejected essays and stories can be used: as insulation, clothing, kindling and, in extreme cases, food. Special seminars for learning the art of street performance are also available. No mimes allowed.
4. Homeless Studies (English majors only);
**Pope:** Here's hoping that younger generations will benefit from our diligence and sacrifice. Wait! What's that sound? Is it the Responsibility Monster?
Snyder: No, it's worse.
Someone flushed. Maybe it
wasn't such a good idea to hide
at Spangles.
Pope: OH, NO! M-M-M-MUDSLIDE!
Pope is a Kansas City senior in English. Snyder is a Leawood senior in English.
Train travel won't work until routes improve
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
I thoroughly enjoyed Ms. Foster's column advocating travel by rail. I personally have taken Amtrak between Lawrence and my home in Colorado several times. The column omitted one minor detail that may impact Amtrak's "convenience" for KU students: the schedule.
For students traveling east to Chicago, Amtrak's Southwest Chief departs at 5:49 a.m. (or, only a couple of hours after last call, if you want to hang out at the station with the rest of the drunks). But if you're going west (as I suspect most KU students are) you'll need to be at the station literally in the middle of the night and won't pass Hutchinson until 4 a.m. The coach chairs don't recline very far, and it's a little uncomfortable trying to get some rest.
Kansas would be much better served by a high-speed rail
route running along the I-70 corridor, linking Kansas City with the college towns of Lawrence, Manhattan and Hays, with stops in Topeka, Salina and Goodland on a daylight run to Denver. That probably won't happen until roughly 20 years after gas reaches $10 per gallon.
Until then, we're stuck, which is probably why no one (including me) rides the train anymore. I can fly to Denver for about $20 more and be home in less than half the time. I would like to travel more often by train and enjoy the scenery, but until the country decides to invest more than the paltry eight billion the president recently allocated for high-speed rail corridors (none of which serve Kansas) we're going to fall even further behind the European system and remain tied to our cars or in the crowded skies.
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Chris Rein is a graduate student from Monument, Colo.
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
THE EDITORIAL BOARD Members of the Kansian Editorial Board are Brenna Hawley, Tara Smith, Mary Sorick, Kelsey Hayden and David Thompson.