contact
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with Carly Halvorson and Elliot Kort
So, there's this guy in my class. We've known one another for a while and it's become pretty clear that we're both interested in one another. That's where the problems start. Every single time we try to get together, something goes wrong. Either I'm busy or he's busy or one of us runs über late. What should I do?
Cassandra, junior
Carly: Do you legitimately want to hang out with this guy, or are you just making excuses for not seeing him? Assuming that your interest in him is real, do you think he feels the same about you? Sometimes, it's just hard to make things work with busy, conflicting schedules. It's easy to use busy schedules as an excuse. Either way, it looks as if it's not going to work out.
Find someone with a more compatible schedule, but don't totally give up on this busy boy if you don't want to. Keep this in mind, though—if you can't even meet up for one night, then how would a relationship make any progress?
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Elliot: Cassandra. I'm going to move forward with the assumption that both you and this guy are genuinely interested in one another. Carly poses some good points, but considering and typing potential actions for any number of potential scenarios would leave me with carpal tunnel and you without any real answers. Now, I'm going to propose two things. First and foremost, I'm going to suggest that you and this guy plan something so far in advance that it couldn't possibly conflict with either of your schedules.
But be warned, this will force you both to be patient. Now, if you think your collective flame could burn out by then, I'd suggest a second possibility: let something go. In the din of such hyper-scheduled lives, a lot of us college students lose sight of what we actually care about. Try to free up some time in your schedule for this guy. It'd probably do you some good.
I got HPV from my ex-boyfriend. How am I supposed to tell someone that I'm hooking up with that I have it? Should I even bother if I'm not in a relationship with him?
Laura, sophomore
Carly: Yes, you should absolutely tell someone that you have HPV, no matter if it's a long-term relationship or a one-night stand. Obviously it's not an easy subject to bring up, but this guy deserves to know. Wouldn't you want to know if the girl you're sleeping with has an STI? What if he had unprotected sex with you while aware that he has HPV—or something worse?
I understand that you want to save yourself from embarrassment, but being honest is actually the least embarrassing thing you could do now. From now on, you need to be honest with any sexual partner.Tell the guy flat out that you have HPV and you need to use a condom. Some guys are going to be OK with it and others won't—that's their right. No matter the reactions, at least you did the right thing.
**Elliot:** Laura, you've got to be kidding. Of course you tell the guy! Sure, I'm assuming you didn't know your boyfriend at the time had HPV when you contracted it. That absolutely sucks for you. But staying quiet as you pass it forward to some unsuspecting guy makes you just as bad as the guy who gave it to you in the first place. Carly's right. You always need to consider the Golden Rule in situations that deal with such intimate matters. So before you hop in bed with someone, I hope you'd be at least courteous enough as to be honest with him.
*Bitch and Moon is not to be considered as a substitute for professional help.
reviews
Duplicity is just what its name implies: deceitful and double-dealing. But when you throw in Julia Roberts and Clive Owen, well, then it's just a whole lot of intellectually stimulating fun.
MOVIE: Duplicity
From the man who brought you the mysteriously cryptic Michael Clayton and the action-packed Bourne trilogy comes this tale of two pathologically paranoid ex-spies. Their mission is true love and their objective is to live happily ever after at the price of $40 million. But don't be fooled. This is no simplistic romantic comedy or drama. Rather, I'd like to classify this cunning tale as a romantic corporate thriller whose premise is engulfed in lies, second-guessing and arrogance. And yes, it's all a bit confusing.
But between Robert's smarts and Owen's smooth smile, an amazingly crafted story of corporate espionage emerges and is mixed with the ultimate question: What is the cost of love?
Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson also give impressive performances as rival CEOs.
Mia Iverson
BOOK: Manic by Terri Cheney
For Terri Cheney, normalcy isn't found in the mishaps of everyday life. It's found in doses of Prozac and bottles of tequila, which is her own personal remedy concocted to combat extreme depression. In her memoir, Manic, Cheney painfully outlines the continuous idiosyncrasies and subconscious desires of a life with bipolar disorder.
Her entries occur episodically instead of chronologically, mirroring the chaotic feelings of her depressing condition. The rhythmic flow of her prose sharply contrasts with the edgy episodes she describes. Cheney's memoir illuminates much-needed light on a disorder kept strictly in the shadows.
Aside from the admiration I felt from reading truly honest and compelling thoughts, I was in awe at the author's ability to hide her condition from the outside world. Living a life as a highly esteemed practicing lawyer is one thing, but doing it all and repressing emotions so heavy they seem to nail her feet to the ground is another. Cheney describes her mania and depression as completely debilitating, but at times entirely invigorating. During "manic" episodes, she becomes radiant, instantly flirtatious and in pursuit of any sort of affection. Her agonizing and wrenching memoir investigates the validity of
April 2,2009
love and happiness, and shows "true beauty is not the absence of ugliness, but the acceptance of it."
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-- Kelci Shipley