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Opinion
ED BOARD: KU STUDENT ATHLETES AVERAGING WELL IN ACADEMICS
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
United States First Amendment
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Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
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WEDNESDAY,APRIL 1,2009
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--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
To the guy wearing the Michigan State hoodie: Too soon!
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
The kid feeding squirrels in front of Lindley made my day.
How sweet would it be if the women's team filled up Allen Fieldhouse for the semifinals on Wednesday like a men's
To the girl screaming outside Berkeley Flats: It's one thing to "play" in the rain, but it's another to sound like you're getting slaughtered.
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
Dr. Pepper & mac'n'cheese are God's gifts to Earth.
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
My girlfriend told all her friends that I take Viagra.
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
Rock Chalk Debate Champions!
Are there any talented basketball players at KU besides the guys on the team? I challenge anybody to a game. I'll be ready on the court!
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
Does anyone know the purpose of rooms 213 and 216 on the second floor of Anschutz? I'm climbing in one to see what it's like.
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
A news update reads: "Mange Hits Area Squirrels." At first glance I read: "Mange Hits Squirrel's Area" and felt really bad for it.
I'm bro-ing it out on my balcony with Jack Johnson and a Natty Light during a thunderstorm. I might throw on an upside-down visor and two poles for good measure.
To the dude I hung out with yesterday who quoted scenes from "The Adventures of Pete & Pete"; Marry me?
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
Is it bad that when the SafeRide car comes, the driver recognizes you?
That's deep.
To the person who found my cell phone in a bathroom at Budig Hall and the custodians who texted everybody on my contact list that it had been found: God bless you!
To the person behind me that keeps sniffing every .5 seconds: Go blow your nose.
During the weekend, I concluded that the death of Mufasa was probably the low point of my childhood. On the other hand, the birth of Simba was epically glorious.
--been so busy with midterms and March Madness that you forgot to plan out an intricate prank worthy of the April Fool? No worries. I have a few pranks you can use today that don't require too much preparation. Just make sure your target hasn't read this column. That might cause him or her to catch on fairly quickly. In fact, just find an illiterate. They're easier to fool anyway.
STUDENT LIFE
Time to pay your homage to the April Fool (or else)
TYLER DOEHRING
Today is April Fool's Day, one of the most highly anticipated holidays of the year and the only real holiday in the entire month of April (Earth Day, as we all know, is a myth). I know most of you have been busy for the past few weeks, planning your pranks and targeting your more gullible friends, building toward that magical moment when you yell "April Fools!" and your prankee laughs, weeps, screams or performs an uncomfortable combination of the three
It's all to honor the spirit of the April Fool, an ancient supernatural being who tricked the Greek philosopher Pythagoras into believing that the square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides. Hai Clay"
While you may not be able to come up with a prank as epic or enduring as the Pythagorean Theorem, you certainly have the opportunity to pull something on a friend, enemy, roommate, classmate or professor that you both will remember for the rest of your lives (assuming, of course, that your prank does not involve inducing long-term amnesia)
But what if, for some reason,
April Fool's Day completely
skipped your mind? What if you've
■ "The Populist Uprising": Here's a new twist on the old "inciting a riot" gag. Take your friend to a bar or restaurant tonight. After a little conversation, stand suddenly and yell out, "I'm sick of these corporate fat cats!" I inevitably, somebody else will stand up and yell "Yeah! They're ruining America!" Another person will stand up and yell "No more bonuses for failure!" Now, point at your friend and yell "Look! ANIG executive!" The patrons of the bar will start cursing and throwing things at your friend, chasing him or her out of the building
and destroying everything in their path. Zing!
"Howlin' at the Moon": This is a good one to play on your roommate. When he taking a nap today, inject him with werewolf serum. He'll wake up irritated
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— don't worry, that's a normal symptom. During the course of the day, he'll start growing hair at an unusual rate and develop fangs. When the transformation is complete, yell "April Fools!" Start running. He will try to eat you. (I know, this one may seem a tad impractical. Where are you going to get werewolf serum, especially in this economy? Don't worry. I can hook you up.)
“The Fake Money Ruse”: Even complete strangers can be ripe for a good pranking. Find some realistic-looking fake money (again, I can hook you up) and take it to the store of your choice. Don't bring anything larger than a 201 "Pay" for your things with the “money” and when the cashier says “Have a nice day” or the like, yell “April Fools!” and dash out of the store. (Note: Depending on how much you “spend,” this prank may constitute a felony.)
Now get out there and prank!
Nichols is an Overland Park sophomore in creative
CULTURE
Just a girl who can't see why other people can't say no
When living in a dorm my freshman year, I rarely spent time in
rarely spent time in my room because my roommate at the time was always watching TV. I studied in a library and spent most weekends at my friends' instead of asking her to turn it off. My English was not fluent and I was worried I would offend her. In Japan, where I grew up, people tend to emphasize harmony and avoid confronting people at any price. When I complained to my mother about the noise in my room, she told me, "Just be patient and keep it in yourself. Don't get in a fight with your roommate."
After I came to the U.S., I observed that, compared with the Japanese, Americans are more straightforward. They're encouraged to voice their concerns to others and face the problem through discussion. Until I understood this different cultural expectation, I struggled when other people tried to correct my behavior. But I gradually learned how to address my complaints to others. When I find a problem, I'll bring it up in a conversation before it becomes a serious problem. I actually like the attitude more because I feel less stressed.
During my four years of college.
however, I also found that this hesitation to speak out was not restricted to me. Many American students worry about what other people may think of them and particularly seem to have trouble saying no when they are asked a favor.
For example, as a journalism student, I often interview student sources for stories. They are usually willing to help me, and I appreciate that very much. Several people in the past, however, didn't show up to a scheduled interview or answer the phone after we made an appointment. At first I thought they were irresponsible. But I began to think that actually they felt they couldn't have refused my request. People are often busy, and not all of them feel comfortable speaking to a reporter. They might have been sending the signal of reluctance, but I didn't catch it. They may have been "saying no" but were unable to say it explicitly.
At the same time, we all need to be sensitive about what other people may feel dissatisfied with. For example, in the environment in which I grew up in japan, people are often expected to "read the atmosphere," which means to guess and sense what other people are thinking, instead of verbally expressing. This can be stressful and create more miscommunication. But it's not a bad idea to be considerate of others and pay attention to small signals that people may send.
Finally, we should also be open-minded about what other people tell us. Even if somebody complains to us, or refuses to offer help, we shouldn't take it personally. What we could do is ask constructive questions and tell what we think, which should bring more fruitful results.
expressing concerns or showing unwillingness to offer help will make us look bad or create tension with other people. The way to avoid this, however, is through good verbal communication. If we find a problem with others, we should say so with a reason, which helps avoid misunderstanding.
Some of us may worry that
Miyakawa is a Tokyo senior in journalism.
FROM FLORIDA
Legalization of marijuana not on Obama's agenda
BYMATTHEW CHRIST University of Florida Independent Florida Alligator
Stoners everywhere have been getting mixed signals lately thanks to the Obama administration's stance on legalizing marijuana. Last week, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton visited Mexico for her first diplomatic tour of the country that has been rocked by more than 7,300 deaths in the Mexican government's war on drugs. Clinton alluded to a change in U.S. drug policy after conceding that America's voracious appetite for drugs only fueled the problem.
Not so fast, said President Barack Obama when answering an online question during a town hall forum last week. Legalizing marijuana is off the table in his administration.
It really is silly, the pot question, to be brought up during this time of crisis. But if there's ever been a time to re-examine our war on drugs, Mexico's growing drug problem and our burgeoning prison bills couldn't be stronger signs that the time for some introspection is upon us.
The classical argument against legalizing marijuana doesn't focus on the drug itself but rather the supposed slippery slope the legalization would promote. How could the government legalize one drug but ignore the others?
Florida's Medical Examiners Commission released a report last year that found prescription drugs had claimed three times as many lives as all illegal drugs combined in 2007—a statistic Rush Limbaugh and middle-aged conservative women with back problems aren't helping. The same report found that marijuana use had caused zero deaths in the state.
I cannot condone smoking pot. The recreational user is most likely to inhale some amount of smoke, which can't be beneficial to any person's lungs. It is inconceivable, want to, to condone the criminalization of marijuana when it has fostered the very drug culture from which anti-marijuana activists derive their arguments. Want to talk about a gateway drug? Ask your friendly neighborhood drug dealer what he thinks about free samples of crack cocaine. Worried about gun battles over drug deals gone wrong? No need for exceptional violence when you can simply pick up some weed from your local convenience store.
The total money raked in through taxes could go toward education programs for students, as similar tobacco and alcohol programs have shown success in curbing use of these products in recent years among teenagers. The industry created by legalization could put thousands back to work and would take away much of the power enjoyed by cartels and other unsavory figures of our government-perpetuated drug culture.
are not big out of sight the others.
For many, the answer is paradoxically clear. Alcohol, a drug that claims thousands, if not millions of addicts, and kills more than 70,000 people per year, according to the Centers for Disease Control, is perfectly legal for adults 21 and up. There are currently more than 40 million Americans who smoke, all of whom will only burden our health care system years down the road.
Once marijuana is taken off the forbidden shelf, our inner Adam and Eve complex won't fall to temptation — creating an environment where marijuana use declines.
UWire
America facing
Era of Irresponsibility
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
I don't think there has ever been a president who has whined and lied so much about the problems his predecessor left him. President Barack "they left me$1.3 trillion annual budget deficit" Obama apparently hasn't heard of "the buck stops here." To begin with, the $1.3 trillion figure is woefully deceptive. The 2009 budget, the one Obama's referencing.
The Panic of 1893, post-WWI recession, Great Depression: America has experienced its share of economic downturns but has always recovered. The difference is we've never intentionally spent ourselves into bankruptcy. The New Deal era saw unprecedented governmental expansion that plunged the country into a prolonged depression that necessitated over a decade of misery and a world war to remedy. Our current smorgasbord of entitlement programs now threatens to push us beyond the point of recovery, and our representatives in Washington have only added to the laundry list.
not only includes his massive bailouts, but happens on his timetable. Nevertheless, he intends the masses to think that Bush steadily increased the annual deficit to its 2009 level, and that Obama is the fiscal warrior fighting to "spend responsibly." In reality, before the sub-prime mortgage crisis hit in 2008, Bush's deficits were rapidly decreasing (down to $160.7 billion in 2007). Additionally, the year before that, the Democrats assumed Congressional power. Yet Obama still demonizes the conservatives.
What is his plan? In this cult of personality, most couldn't tell you. He claims to be able to save $2 trillion annually, but most of these savings are due to Iraqi troop withdrawals, which would have happened anyway. The rest are in the form of tax cuts, which should never be considered "savings." Should he serve two terms, Obama will most assuredly almost triple our national debt. This "new era of responsibility" is quickly becoming a misnomer.
Glen Reeves is a junior from Roeland Park
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kansai Editorial Board are Brenna Hawley, Tara Smith, Mary Sorick, Kevey Kahsey and Dan Thompson.