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Anthony Houchin, 2008 graduate, and Astrid Houchin, Lima, Peru, sophomore, married after a three-year, long distance relationship, and have two children. They met in Peru when Anthony was traveling in the country.
Ali Iyican, Famagusta, Northern Cyprus, senior, recently introduced his American girlfriend, Christian Walker Chanute junior, to his family in Northern Cyprus through a Web camera.
girlfriend. Christian Watkins, to his family in Northern Cyprus by way of a Web camera. He says bringing a significant other home is not common in Cyprus. Ali says he had never introduced his girlfriend to his family, and he was nervous. He and Christian. Chanute junior, practiced role-playing conversations several times.
Ali translated the conversation between his family and Christian. They didn't talk much, but from their big smiles, he could tell his family liked her. Right after the video conversation, Christian received gifts from his family, including a ring with Nazarlik, a Cyprian
amulet meant to protect against the evil eye.
Photo by Rachael Gray
Redding, clinical social worker, says some parents can seem less accepting and flexible with another culture. She says meeting in person or talking on the phone or through a Web camera will help relieve parents' stress and create better communication, because such communication allows them to see their child's partner as a person rather than a foreigner. If parents are still not accepting, she suggests finding allies who can bridge the relationship between the partner and parents. This includes siblings, uncles and aunts.
Michael Davidson, former KU student and
attracted to their opposite personalities. Alyssa has more of a timid personality,
senior at Loyola University New Orleans, has gone to Germany twice to visit his girlfriend and her family.
Michael and Anne Stahr started dating four years ago when she was a foreign exchange student in his high school in Russell. Anne recently moved to the United States to attend KU to close the gap in their long-distance relationship.
Michael says his German was not fluent, so he was worried he wouldn't communicate well with her family at first.
Anne's family was hospitable, he says, but he also found a more formal family dynamic than many American families, and it took him a while to get closer to them. For example, her family always cooked him traditional German food instead of more casual, everyday meals. One evening at the dinner table, Michael made a grammatical
mistake, trying to say something such as, "Can you pass me potatoes?" Anne's parents then teased him for the first time, which he took as a sign of their intimacy with him.
Michael says meeting Anne's family and staying in Germany helped make the relationship stronger because he got to see the environment in which she grew up and learned the German language intensively. He says he and Anne are thinking of marriage, and he continues studying German so he will be able to move to Germany in the future.
If couples are in a long-term relationship, at some point many of them will have a conversation about marriage and make a future plan, such as where to live and work. Some couples will talk about it when graduating from college, while other couples delay the conversation until they are ready to make a commitment or establish their own careers. For many international couples, however, graduation forces them to make some important decisions in their lives.
I'm graduating in May. My boyfriend doesn't speak Japanese, so living in Japan is not an option. I don't mind living in the United States, but I'll have to either marry him or find a job that can sponsor my visa to stay in the United States. I'm not ready to marry yet. While I look for jobs, at the moment I'm putting off the question: What if I'll have to go back to Japan?
The option to move or stay isn't open to all international couples, especially if one partner doesn't speak the other's language. However, Astrid Houchin, Lima, Peru, sophomore, took that leap.
Astrid and her husband, Anthony Houchin, 2008 graduate, moved to the United States from Peru in 2003. They met in 2000 in Peru while Anthony was traveling, and they got married after having a three-year long-distance relationship.
Anthony spoke Spanish fluently, but Astrid didn't speak English.Astrid was pregnant when
she just moved to the United States. She didn't have any family or Peruvian friends here. A friend visited her from Peru when she gave birth and stayed with her for a week. She says it was a big emotional help for her because her family was not able to come from Peru. When her friend left the United States, Astrid separated from her in tears, worrying about challenges that she had to go through to raise a child in the United States.
Astrid says as her English improves, she is making more friends and starting to enjoy her life in the United States. She's now a student at KU majoring in art.
Astrid and Anthony enjoy food from the two countries, and salsa dancing and meringue. They recently started teaching latin dance to their two children, 5-year-old and 3-year-old boys, both fluent in English and Spanish. They both agree having a partner from another culture is an asset that enriches their lives, and raising children in a multicultural environment is one of the best parts. JP
International marriage in the United States
- 274,000 foreign nationals obtained green cards through marriage to American citizens in 2007.
- Of 1,052,000 green cards issued in 2007,
more than 25 percent were to the spouses
of American citizens.
- 2.3 million foreign nationals obtained green cards through marriage to American citizens between 1998 and 2007.
Source: U.S. Department of Homeland Security "2007 Yearbook of Immigration Statistics"
March 5,2009
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