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Opinion
MCCONNELL: PROPOSED BILL HAMPERS ADDITIVE-FREE MILK
United States First Amendment
COMING THURSDAY
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4, 2009
United States First Amendment Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
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To the two guys building $ \alpha $ snowman with boobs on it: Fourth grade called and it wants its maturity level back.
College is being too lazy to go to the store to get toilet paper, so you wipe with printer
--the road.
I am a 36C and somehow I forgot to wear a bra to class today
--the road.
To the girl on the McColum bus: Your backpack doesn't deserve its own seat.
--the road.
I wish someone would want ME to be their girlfriend, sheesh. Chivalry seems to be dead.
--the road.
I feel sassy. Who wants to play some chess?
It took me 19 hours and 14 attempts, but I've finally got a girlfriend! Determination is all you need
--the road.
--the road.
College is sending me back to the dark ages.
--the road.
All I have to look forward to is work and crappy classes and I hate it.
--the road.
If one more person e-mails me asking for Psych 310 notes, I will hunt you down and give you a REAL reason to be missing class. Lazy slackers. Create it.
I am NOT happy about the budget cuts in Athletics. The athletes get everything but the workers are getting screwed.
--the road.
--the road.
My roommate just got a baby turtle. Our room is officially "The Zoo" now.
--the road.
All I want to say is Snuggies are good for serving, if you know what I mean.
--the road.
My physics teacher is the reason I get out of bed every day.
--the road.
Today is "drive and park like a freaking idiot" day.
--the road.
PAGE 5A
Wow, apparently girls can get addicted to Warcraft too.
--the road.
Ugly people can't get a relationship for a reason. They are too ugly.
- - the road.
My psychology professor told a 'penis envy' joke in class today. I feel so dirty now.
The best place to find a mate is in the library. They are the ones who are going places.
EDITORIAL BOARD
University should adopt bicycle commuter subsidy
Weston White/KANSAN
Warmer temperatures, longer days and less snow and salt are all necessary conditions for the start of cycling season. Those conditions are inching closer, and more cyclists will be out on the roads commuting.
Last fall, at the other end of the cycling season, the Bicycle Commuter Act was passed as part of a federal bailout of large banks. This act allows for employers to reimburse employees $20 per month for commuting to work on their bikes. In exchange, employers are eligible for matching federal tax credits. Interviews with members of the current bicycle commuter community, composed primarily of non-students and men, indicated they commuted by bicycle simply because they enjoyed the ride. For some, a simple desire to ride to work might not be enough.
Large employers, such as the University and the State of Kansas, should adopt the bicycle Commuter Act to encourage increased bicycle commuting among new group
"I see my choice to cycle as a personal choice, without the need for public subsidy," said Kevin Morris of Kansas City. He expressed interest in other projects that benefited cyclists more directly, such as infrastructure that provided bicycle transportation
Many cyclists in the Lawrence and Kansas City areas are excited about the recognition the bill has brought to cycling, but they had mixed feelings about the monetary nature of the bill.
Other cyclists also expressed a desire for a better bike lane system and parking space savings that would result from fewer cars on
Brian Shay, owner of The Recyclery, 711 W.23rd St., was receptive to the idea.
KANSAN'S
OPINION
The benefit and opinions on
"I am more than willing to pay my employees for biking to work," Shay said.
it reveal a divide that exists among cyclists. Cycling, and especially commuting, has long been an exclusive club for people with the time and resources to
do so. Cycling to work means being able to live near your employer, possibly having access to different bikes for different conditions and perhaps even having showers available at the workplace.
But to encourage widespread bicycle commuting, the option will have to be made available more widely. Financial reimbursement might allow people including the employees at The Recyclery, students working on campus or University employees who cannot afford the trek — to commute to work.
For this benefit to be available to University employees, the state will have to add it to its benefit package
TO CONTACT LEGISLATORS:
**WHO:** Rep. Barbara Ballard at: 785-296-7697 or barbara.ballard@house.
ks.gov
**OR:** Sen. Marci Francisco at: 785-842-6402 or marci.francisco@senate.
ks.gov
for state employees. State representatives such as Paul Davis, Barbara Ballard and state senator Marci Francisco should push for the state to adopt this benefit for employees.
In addition, the University should embrace this benefit as a way to reduce traffic on campus, reduce pollution and respond to the interests of employees. If the University, Lawrence's largest employer, can find a way to offer this benefit to employees, it would be a strong first step in opening up a green, responsible way of commuting to whole new groups of people.
— Alex Doherty for The Kansan Editorial Board
EDITORIAL CARTOON
THE TIMES, THEY ARE A-CHANGIN '
THE ECONOMY'S WRECKED AMERICANS CAN PROTECT THEMSELVES BY SHOPPING!
WE'VE BEEN ATTACKED- AMERICANS CAN PROTECT THEMSELVES BY SHOPPING!
NICHOLAS SAMBALUK
Why 'Star Trek' will be worth wait
BLOGS
KELLY BRECKUNITCH kbreckunitch@kansan.com
First, let me state that I am not, nor have I ever been, a Trekkie. I can understand why they may unnerve some people, but being slightly obsessive about video games myself, I have no right to judge. Why do I bring this up? That is an excellent question; allow me to digress.
I happened to be reading fellow Kansan columnist Rustin Dodd's Morning Brew on Feb. 26 and was pulled in by his numerous amount of lists. I enjoyed most of it, but one detail of his article struck me as disturbing. He listed "Star Trek" as a movie to avoid this summer. I couldn't disagree more.
I don't know why anyone would want to avoid the new "Star Trek" movie, but to persuade you to think otherwise, here is my own list of reasons you should go see "Star Trek."
1) The film's producer, J.I.
Abrams, is a genius. Everything the
2) Simon Pegg plays Scottie. If you don't know this actor from movies such as "Hot Fuzz" and "Shaun of the Dead," please get yourself acquainted. He is hilarious and can be counted on for comedic relief in the movie.
man touches turns to gold: Look at his track record with television: "Alias" was a big hit, "Lost" was even bigger, and "Fringe" may be the best new show on television.
3) Karl Urban is in the movie as well. If you don't know who Karl Urban is, I'll understand. I can't help but notice Karl Urban, though, because he is the prototypical BAMF. You may recognize him as Eomer from "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. He gravitates toward action-heavy roles, and in "Star Trek" he's playing, the doctor? Color me intrigued, but Karl Urban in any movie leads me to think there will be a lot of action.
My guess is you really can't think of anything. Neither can 1, so let's bank on this being one of the best sci-fi movies in recent memory. Sci-fi is an under-appreciated genre of film, so a movie like "Star Trek" should be cherished for its potential to stand out.
5) The midnight showing is on Stop Day eve. What else are you going to do? (oh, yeah...) Well, if you don't want to get completely drunk you can join me at the midnight showing of what is destined to be one of the biggest movies of the summer.
I don't know what would make people want to shy away from watching this movie. This movie deserves credit. It's appealing to a broader base than just the diehard "Star Trek" fans. J.J. Abrams knows what he's doing with this movie and this should propel him into the big time in cinema. So don't let anyone spin any negative thoughts about this movie in your head. It is sure to be a grand experience, NOT one worth missing.
4) It's a sci-fi movie. Ask yourself this: What was the last really good sci-fi movie you saw?
GUEST COLUMN
Student section could work on sportsmanship
The beatdown of Missouri administered Sunday in Allen Fieldhouse way
one of my favorite games ever. In more than 20 years as a basketball season ticket holder, I have been consistently impressed with not only the caliber of our athletes, coaches and entire program, but also with the class and sportsmanship they exhibit, or lose.
College basketball enthusiasts across the nation herald Jayhawk basketball fans among the best in all athletics. Our zealous love for the Kansas tradition makes The Phog an unsurpassable basketball venue. Players and coaches throughout the country confirm that our fans are simply the best.
As with every top collection of human beings, sometimes a few do not exhibit the high standards of the vast majority. One such misdirected (or inebriated) individual left a small blemish on an otherwise nearly perfect Sunday afternoon, when he chose to scream out during a hushed moment just before a KU free throw in the second half (when MU was clearly vanquished). The booming yell, "Lyons, you suck" was not only classless, it was also stupid.
Leo Lyons is one of the best players (if not the best player) on a formidable Division I NCAA basketball team, which earlier in the season beat us in Columbia. Mr. Lyons does not suck. I venture to guess that the over zealous fan could not score a single point in a game of one-on-one with Mr. Lyons, and probably did not even make his own high-school team (where young people usually learn sportsmanship).
Fans sometimes let passion and zealousness serve as an excuse for "Antler-like" vulgarity or mean-spiritedness. We all need to remind our fellow fans in the stands that behavior like that is not tolerated at the University of Kansas. We promote a nacious, fun, sportsmanlike and very loud atmosphere to cheer on our Hawks. But classless personal attacks are not welcome. It is not what college athletics is all about
Along those same lines, I hope the folks who chanted "Overrated!" near the end of the game will reconsider that particular chant. Saying one's opponent is overrated takes away from our win. It says we're not to be ranked higher — you're to be ranked lower. Sure, other schools do it, but aside from sounding whiny (that they shouldn't have been ranked as high), it's pretty classless trash-talk. It should disappear from the otherwise rousing (and sometimes funny) student section repertoire.
While I'm at it, I hope the upperclassman will educate the underclassmen that not every foul call against the Jayhawks is "Bullshift" Occasionally, we do pick up legitimate fouls. Most experienced fans appreciate that overuse of that particular chant minimizes its effectiveness. Help your less-experienced friends in the stands understand the finer points of the Kansas tradition. Help them class up their act. This is Kansas — the top basketball program in the land.
Fritz Edmunds Jr. is an alumnus from Overland Park
FROM ILLINOIS
Awkward moments sponsored by Apple
BY SCOTT COHEN
U. Illinois
Daily Illini
Apple's popularity amongst young people has exploded faster than you can say "Feist." But still, there are always awkward glitches. I'm referring to those awkward social situations that our Apple products create for us.
IVanity. Don't deny that you enjoy the vanity of Photo Booth. You spend at least 30 minutes practicing that perfect pose, which flatters the left side of your face. Don't forget to pout your lips. Sepia effect + cleavage = new Facebook profile photo.
isex. We all create those playlists that scream with anticipation for a bedmate. I've seen your "Pure Seduction" mix, and let me tell you, no one wants to listen to Death Cab whine as you gently breathe in his or her ear. Oh, and my heart goes out to that poor girl who lost her virginity to a Dave Matthews song.
iDance. When I'm walking on the quad with my earbuds in, I often wish my life was in
silhouette so it wouldn't look so weird when I dance. "My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and yes I know fo sho ... clap clap."
So as I'm bobbing my head to Outkast, fantasizing about a colorful two-dimensional commercial; there is inevitably someone walking toward me fashioning a similar head bob. Just before our silhouette worlds collide head-on, we notice each other's presence.
Apple's innovation has been progressive yet still causes some painfully awkward situations. I admit that I couldn't live without my iPhone, but Pamela, I swear that message was a typo. I was asking if you had class, not the clap.
To avoid a crash, we both step aside to let the other pass. Unfortunately, we have both just stepped in the same direction. And we continue to slide back and forth as we simulate a poorly choreographed iPod commercial, as awkward as if Andre 3000 was starring opposite Meryl Streep in "Mamma Mia!"
— UWire
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