Opinion
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
KENNY: GREEN GROUPS JOIN FIGHT AGAINST INJUSTICE
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COMING MONDAY
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2009
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I just had greatness thrust upon me.
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You wanna hear a funny joke?
My life
Have you ever had second thoughts about checking somebody out on campus? did
According to my Strength of Materials professor today, relationships are no good if the length isn't several times the diameter.
Is it me, or has it been getting colder ever since the president of the United States signed the giveaway handout package?
Dear English teacher: How about for once you show up to class.
An old bald guy is sleeping in my class. Why would he go to college to fall asleep again?
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The wind is my ultimate pet peeve.
Is it bad that my girlfriend watched gay porn with my dealer?
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An empty bed gives you room to stretch. I love my nice big empty bed
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To the guy in Physics 211: it's nice to have someone say hello to me every day.
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Anyone want to bowl with me? I have White Russians ..
To the gorgeous brunette who sits behind me in English 209: I would love to take you out for a very nice dinner.
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Ever feel like the whole world is trying to emasculate men?
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Dear English student: Be happy you don't have to go to class. Sincerely, everyone else at XU.
Sorry for NOT holding in my laughter today at your unfortunate luck.
Let me clarify that, I am drinking White Russians; I do not have in my possession any Russians with a white skin color, merely the ability to create a drink by that name, which I have been drinking since 7:19 a.m. approximately.
PAGE 7A
STUDENT LIFE
JAMES FARMER
Internships, for a price
Parents, student and others gladly pay thousands of dollars in college tuition
doubars in college tuition to ensure a financially sound existence after graduation. The American dream is founded on the ideal that if a person works hard enough, he or she can achieve anything. A student must spend countless hours studying, network like crazy, land a few internships along the way, complete a degree and then maybe with some luck a job offer will appear. Persevere, we're told, and it'll pay off. But what if no matter how much effort you put into your aspirations, there were people out there without the grades, ambition or skills who could still snatch up opportunities you deserve?
Starting-level jobs achieved through internships are a common form of employment for fresh graduates. For most of us, achieving our dream jobs will require a combination of experience, personal zest for a subject and a decent GPA. Pretty soon "a few extra thousand dollars" may be added to that list
Turns out there's a fast track where some students get to skip over all the aches and pains, but still achieve the goals of their more dedicated peers.
In her article "internships For Sale" in the Wall Street Journal, Ellen Gamerman exposed the disturbing tactic some are using to get ahead. Rather than applying for an internship position the
old-fashioned way, ritzy parents now have the option of buying their child an internship at auctions across the U.S. Of course these auctions are usually found at only the most elite universities and high schools. These parents are willing to spend ridiculous amounts of money. For example, a one-week internship at Electronic Arts sold for a whopping $4,000 during an auction at the Urban School of San Francisco. This is an absolutely unfair advantage.
Sadly, auctions are just the beginning Timothy Noah of Slate magazine writes in his article "Opportunity for Sale" that organizations like University of Dreams will guarantee an internship — for a price. Of course, University of Dreams says students are simply paying a "tuition fee" ranging from $5,000 to $10,000. That's not far from the cost of in-state tuition for a semester at the University. As if those who can afford to buy internships aren't already benefiting from their financial stability (i.e., affording the best universities, tutors and housing).
With the current economic
situation, many students are feeling the pressure to ensure jobs after graduation. Terrified at the thought of another summer without an internship, desperate students may do whatever it takes to build a resume and eventually land a job, even if it means forking out some extra cash. Companies taking advantage of students' desires to succeed by selling internships is just wrong.
I thought the point of an internship was to give students experience that would assist them when establishing a career — not put them deeper in debt. I can't imagine how these companies justify exploiting an adolescent's goals.
But the students are at fault, too. After all, what is the point of spending so much money to attend college if you still have to buy your way into the work world? I also can't help but wonder how much respect interns who got their positions via mommy and daddy's money would have if their peers were aware of their situation.
If you can't land an internship on your own,maybe you should re-evaluate your dedication to school and your major — not take opportunities away from qualified individuals or encourage dishonorable companies.
Buser is a Columbia, III., junior in journalism and English.
ECONOMY
Looking for economic boosts in our backyard
R are times often elicit rare measures. It is clear our college years apply.
We may be in the midst of one of the country's most pronounced recessions, but it is far from our first or last. If history is any indication, we will recover only to find ourselves dealing with another economic mess — say in 2040.
And with exorbitant bailout and stimulus packages in Washington, and Kansas lawmakers using state employee paychecks and income tax refunds as political pawns, clearly fresh ideas will forever be welcome in dealing with economic plights at home and abroad.
"This burger is delicious," I thought, "and it's healthier than the diabetes-inducing patties at McDonald's to boot. All of its ingredients are grown and harvested locally, so could this concept be further expanded to help cure some of our local economy's ills?"
One such thought occurred to me two weeks ago between bites of an elk burger downtown at Local Burger.
Going local is often inspired by ecological concerns, but another "green" was on my mind that day. Did that burger represent an example of untapped economic potential?
Local Burger owner Hillary Brown's entrepreneurial spirit has
led the restaurant to grow during its more than three and a half years. Community building and transparency and accountability in food production are among her top aims, but she does see a possibility for prosperity should more Lawrence businesses follow suit, she said.
"There is so much potential," Brown said. "If regions focus on what they do best and create the best products with them, then there will also be an increase in ecotourism."
Another theory often attached to buying local is that, the theoretically, if the stars aligned and we all purchased local products, producers will in turn reinvest those earnings into the local economy. Alas, with all theories nothing is guaranteed and we are more likely to find legislation pushing protectionist measures in the near future to attempt to save jobs and boost local economies.
"If local residents choose to consume more services locally, then this will indeed expand the local economy," said Joshua Rosenbloom, professor of economics. "If, however, the idea is to restrict people's choices to
How then can we prevent protectionist measures but also boost our local community's well being? And how can we boost our local economy while at the same time continuing to encourage a global market — one in which foreign companies set up shop here thus creating more American jobs?
force them to buy more goods locally this will raise costs and result overall in a loss of well being"
Localism is not to be discouraged, yet those who choose to exclusively employ local resources comprise a small portion of the population — their benefits are often a sense of personal well being rather than a true boost to the community's economy.
Though the majority of us students can do little to sway anybody on Capitol Hill, as consumers we can do our part around Campanile Hill. If we choose to buy anywhere from 10 to 50 percent (or more) of our supplies locally, we will supplant those who do so exclusively, giving local merchants an extraordinary boost and increase the chances that they do reinvest this money at home.
We still yet have the potential to play a role in helping grow our community without the need for bureaucratic imposition.
Montemayor is a Mission junior in journalism, political science and economics.
STUDENT LIFE
Banking on bread or the bottle
Pope: I can't believe it! We actually got an e-mail — I mean, I have finally chosen a submission from the 3.292 (but who's counting) possible arguments our dear readers have sent since our last desperate plea What is this feeling? Could it be love?
Snyder: I don't care what it is, just don't clog the toilet again. Let me see that letter. It looks like it's from a Mr. ... Joe Pancake? We have the best readers. Anyway, Joe faces a rather interesting predicament. With the economy tanking, he cannot decide which love deserves the last vestiges of his savings — booze or food. I know which one I'd choose.
Pope: What? Sorry, I'm three sheets to the wind right now. Since it's our first user-submitted argument, I feel this calls for a little extra something.
Pope and Snyder:
SUB-HEADING TIME!!!
**Pope:** This is going to be too easy. If you think creatively, booze can be classified as food *and* drink, which makes it much more economical than either of them separately. It practically sells itself. It's the ShamWow of vices
COST
Snyder: The last time you thought creatively, it ended with five angry policemen, your pants in a tree and a whole lot of emotionally scared third graders.
Pope: Whatever, that was the best magic trick ever.
**Snyder:** Getting back on topic, once you've calmed the rage that its commercials stir within, it becomes clear that the $5 you-knowwhat is a much better deal. Eat one every day until you die of scurvy and think of all the money you'll save for the funeral!
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE
Pope: I don't think I need to illustrate just how enjoyable alcohol can make even the most mundane activities. Heck, it even makes Nicolas Cage movies darnear watchable. Is there anything it can't do?
Snyder: Yeah, it can't improve your abysmal dancing skills. But while entertainment via inebration is a relatively new experience
REACH MICHAEL AND RYAN:
E-MAIL:
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for most of us, playing with food has been a lifelong pastime. "Here comes the choo-choo train" was enough for us to eat our vegetables, and food fightings made the most wretched of cateria meals enjoyable. Who knows, with a little imagination maybe you could make yourself a Mrs. Joe Pancake.
CAMPUS LIFE
Pope: Normally, I would advise against sipping the dangerous cocktail of lectures with a booze chaser, but sometimes a little Bailey's in your coffee can really help jump-start the day.
Snyder: More like *dumpstat* your day, right? That's two poop jokes in one column. And they said it couldn't be done.
Pope: Plus, alcohol has this wonderful effect of making everyone more attractive, and honestly, who wouldn't enjoy a campus full of beautiful people? Not that it isn't already, ladies. (Call me.)
Snyder: The attractiveness only goes one way, buddy. After you show up to class drunkenly screaming for a field trip to Jimmy Johns, don't be surprised when nobody calls.
Pope: I hope we've helped answer your question, Joe. Just know that, no matter which industry you choose to support, it will be a much better investment than giving that money to Wall Street.
Snyder: You're welcome.
FROM NEW JERSEY
Pope is a Kansas City, Kan., senior in English. Snyder is a Leawood senior in English.
The cult of the Collegiate Nap
CAMILLE FRAMROZE Princeton The Daily Princetonian
You know the drill. You have a 10-page paper due at 4 p.m. With much reluctance, you sit at your desk, open up your laptop and glare murderously at the computer screen. You haven't the faintest idea what to do. You decide that the 10 minutes of intense strategyizing merits a break, and you realize that you have time for a nap! One-and-a-half hours later, having turned off the alarm, you groggy look at the time: 4:10 p.m.
The Collegiate Nap seems less like a habit and more like a crucial feature of our culture. The first thing that I did after finalizing my schedule was to check which days would offer optimal napping privileges.
One of my friends precedes each nap with a request to wake her up. But when we try, she responds venomously. "My lab got rescheduled!" "My lecture's canceled!" None of these is true. It's a weakness that she calls "sleep lying" because she never remembers saying any of this when she wakes up, furious and frantic, seven hours later.
When confronted with an essay, 200 pages of reading and a problem set, perhaps the only reasonable response is to humbly accept defeat, close your eyes and sink into blissful slumber. It makes one wonder how we'll get through the stresses of an actual job without a pillow stowed under the desk, conveniently placed for the essential six naps during an eight-hour work day.
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