notice
Mind your millennial 'p's and 'q's By Madeline Hyden mhyden@kansan.com
Technology use is no excuse to let your social graces slide
Grocery shopping is a peaceful time for me. I get much pleasure from leisurely strolling up and down the aisles, planning my meals for the week and looking for bargains. The other day I was just about to crack the case of crunchy vs. smooth when I hear Beyonce's "Single Ladies" blare from a girl's cell phone in the next aisle. I spent the rest of my shopping outing hearing about who made out with whom at The Wheel, why she needed to lose 10 pounds, and whether her boyfriend's chest hair was sexy.
Technology has given us the ability to share our lives with the general public. From cell phone conversations to blogs to Facebook status updates, personal information flows across lines of communication faster than you can say, "TMI." No information is sacred anymore, and worse, a set of rules to follow that explain the rights and wrongs of technology use aren't set in stone.
A lot has changed since Emily Post first wrote her book on etiquette in 1922, but manners still remain a stronghold in modern society. With technology thrown into the mix, manners are more necessary than ever. Here's
an updated guide to handling everyday situations with the utmost tact and consideration.
Ring-a-ding-ding
Keep your voice down. Vans Copple is sick of all the screaming. The Salt Lake City junior says there's nothing worse than someone talking obnoxiously loudly on his or her cell phone.
"There is only an inch of space between the phone and mouth. Why is it necessary to yell? It's called volume control; all phones have it." she says.
Vibrate is not silent. Turn your phone on silent or turn it off if you don't want it to be heard.
Do not answer texts or calls when you're with someone. Nick Harbert, Wichita sophomore, says he hates it when friends talk, text or check Facebook when they're together.
"Once, OK, maybe you had an important phone call or something, twice you are getting on my nerves, but by the third time I just want to smash your phone," he says.
Avoid using your cell phone in the bathroom. Erin Wolfram,certified etiquette specialist,says that it's rude to the other people in the bathroom and to the person on the other line.
Respond accordingly. If someone calls you, call them back—do not text them. Respond in the same format that was used to contact you.
Photo Illustration by Jerry Wang
Netiquette
Absolutely never use your phone in the following places: elevators, restaurants, libraries, cemeteries, places of worship, wedding ceremonies and receptions.
Catty chit chat: Inconsiderate actions, such as talking on a cell phone at an unnecessary volume, shows bad manners and a lack of respect for other people.
Greet and Degreeet. What is rude in real life is also rude on the Web. Not saying hello, goodbye or thank you in e-mail is just as rude as doing it to a person's face.
Always begin an e-mail with "Hello" or "Dear" and always sign off with "Sincerely," "Best" or "Regards." Avoid writing in short fragments to avoid sounding angry, says Patsy Rowe, author of Business Etiquette: Achieving a
competitive edge in business.
Use subject lines effectively, especially in a business setting. Briefly say what the e-mail contains in the subject line so the recipient can judge its importance.
Be aware of tone. Rowe says that without a voice, face or body language to convey your message, the recipient has only your words to go on, which is why the tone of e-mail can be easily misunderstood Geoff Folker, Kansas City, Missouri graduate student, says that regardless of how accustomed we get to technology as a means of communication, no amount of emoticons can replace a genuine smile, frown or look of indifference.
Keep it timely. Always respond quickly to an e-mail. If the message requires a response, send a quick reply right when you open the e-mail and respond more fully when you have time, just so the sender isn't waiting
Dining Etiquette Dos and Don'ts
Courtesy of Excuse Me, But I was Next ... by Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter of Emily Post.
— Don't lean back on the hind legs of your chair
Order drinks accordingly. If the rest of the table is drinking iced tea, tequila shots may be inappropriate
— Don't use a toothpick at the table.
Don't eat anything that has dropped on the floor, regardless of the five-second rule
Don't take a drink when food is still in your mouth (unless you are choking)
— Don't rearrange the cutlery if you are left-handed
— Don't lick your knife or fork
— Don't leave personal items on the table, including purses and phones
Always be grateful. Thank the host at the end of the meal and follow up with a phone call or e-mail
on you. Reply to all business e-mails within a half-day and social e-mails within 24 hours.
On the job
Always send a hand-written thank you note after an interview.
Rowe says that even if you don't get the job, you'll still be remembered by your thoughtful gesture. An e-mail is an acceptable backup.
Sell yourself, don't talk about yourself. Kalem Kopf, Lawrence senior and president of the Society of Human Resource Management, says he often sees students get personal in job interviews or cover letters. He says that it's important to focus on explaining what you can do for them, not just what you can do.
story continued on page 10
February 12,2009
9